[macko]

He's beat up pretty damn bad but looks to make a full recovery. Let's all raise our pint glasses to the man tonight.

Edit: For those of you unfamiliar with DC, it is

Not Work Safe.

Sorry.

http://www.drunkcyclist.com

 

[N8 v2.0]

He's beat up pretty damn bad but looks to make a full recovery. Let's all raise our pint glasses to the man tonight.

http://www.drunkcyclist.com

damn....

 

[Full Trucker]

Hear hear!

 

[jonKranked]

could someone post up the article or blurb? that site is NSFW and i'd like to know. that's an awesome site and he's an awesome d00d

 

[robdamanii]

Dear loyal Drunkcyclist.com readers,

Sad news on the DC front. The man himself, Big Jonny, was struck by an automobile on his way back from the Saturday group ride and is currently in the hospital with multiple lumbar fractures (fortunately, no paralysis) and severe road rash. Big Jon was legally in the bike lane at approximately 12:15pm and was hit squarely from behind on an uphill section of the road by a sedan traveling approximately 55mph. The driver left the scene but has now been apprehended and charged with felony hit and run due to the diligence and efforts of multiple other drivers on the road who witnessed the collision.

Jon is currently in good spirits and is expected to make a full recovery. An unforeseen, yet fortuitous, byproduct of this horrific incident has been the opportunity to have numerous conversations with Jon while he is under the influence of numerous pain killers. For your reading enjoyment, and in the spirit of Drunkcyclist.com, we would like to showcase a few of the conversations that Jon has had with the amazing staff of Flagstaff Medical Center and the friends and family who have been visiting over the last two days:

(Medical personnel are preparing to move Jon from the stretcher to the bed in the ER)

FMS Staff: “Are you ready sir?

Big Jon: “Wait!”

BJ: “Ladies, I must warn you. I’m naked under here and extremely good looking”

(Nurse enters the room with water and cloth to give Big Jon a sponge bath and clean some of the superficial wounds)

Big Jon’s Wife: “Do you want help with that?”

Big Jon: “Hold on, are you going to do this? (Looks at wife and frowns)…Or are you? (Looks at nurse and grins)

Silence from both wife and nurse

Big Jon: “How about both!”

(The Snake stops by in the AM to see how the Big Man is doing)

Snake: “So is there anything you need?”

Big Jon: “Three Asian girls would be great.”

Snake: “I’ll work on that for you.”

(Nurse comes in to check on kidney function)

Nurse: “Jon, do you have to urinate?”

Big Jon: “I might, but I don’t really want to since I’d have to pull my penis out in front of all of these people.”

(Talking about Jon’s left arm which had swollen up and become extremely rigid do to a reaction with an IV drip)

Jon’s Wife: “Geez, look at that, your left arm is swollen up like the incredible hulk.”

Big Jon: “Yeah, I look like I have one popeye arm, I wonder what that stuff was?”

Pun: “I wonder if it would work on other parts of the body as well?”

Big Jon: “I bet that you could sell that stuff down at the coffee shop to Germans. It’d be like a stiffening elixir. They’d be like ‘Vat is dis?’ and then the coffee shop person would say ‘don’t worry, you’ll like it, just drink it’ and then they’d all be walking around with giant arms and penises.”

(Editor’s note: the preceding conversation may not seem to make any sense. This is not because it was one of those “you had to be there” moments. He really made absolutely no sense.)

(Nurse walks in to get Jon latest dose of pain killers)

Jon’s Wife: “See what I mean Pun, all his nurses are beautiful”

Jon: “Yeah, no ****.” “I’m glad I was on drugs down in the ER when they were all around me. Otherwise, Lil’ Jonny would have come out and I would have been swingin’ him around like a damn baseball bat.”

Anyhooters, that’s all for now kids. We will post again if there is anything new. Jon should be back in the saddle again soon and hopefully he can post the next update.

Although I’m sure that he would enjoy hearing from everyone, he is bound to fall behind on e-mail replies. Let’s all just tip a pint or five back at the local bar and hope for a complete and speedy recovery.

Yours Truly,
-Big Pun & The Gnome

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[maxyedor]

EDIT: Rodamanii beat me to it.

Here you go, there are some carnage pictures on their site, but you get the gidt of it.

Get well soon Jon!

 

[Tame Ape]

super bummer!!! Its good to hear he's in good spirits though...

 

[jonKranked]

good to see he has an intact sense of humor and that the f***er that did this was caught. best wishes to him for a speedy recovery.

 

[Konabumm]

http://www.drunkcyclist.com

Not Safe For WORK!

 

[jonKranked]

Not Safe For WORK!

NSIG not safe in general

 

[peter6061]

No DC here at work, but it's good to hear he's 'okay'.

Hope he heals up quick and can get back on the bike soon.

 

[binary visions]

I cannot f**king believe that someone would hit a damn human being and leave the scene.

Yes, I know it happens a lot.

But there is a special place in Hell reserved for those useless bags of flesh. I hope that guy's wheels fall off and he hits a tree :redhot:

Glad to hear the infamous Drunk Cyclist is okay though!

 

[dhbuilder]

the link to the "livewrong" bracelet is great.

i'll be sportin one of those a.s.a.p.

 

[Alfred]

I cannot f**king believe that someone would hit a damn human being and leave the scene.

Yes, I know it happens a lot.

But there is a special place in Hell reserved for those useless bags of flesh. I hope that guy's wheels fall off and he hits a tree :redhot:

Glad to hear the infamous Drunk Cyclist is okay though!

Agreed.

 

[stoney]

Jon, get better soon!

 

[OGRipper]

Wow.

For years Big Johnny has been doing what he can to help fallen riders. He posts about accidents like this all the time, rants about jerkoff drivers, and helps with fundraising and other support. And now he has been struck down too. Goddam. Glad he's basically ok, sounds like it could have been much much worse.

 

[llkoolkeg]

If you ride a bike anywhere near where cars are allowed to be driven, you will eventually be hit. I have seen it happen to others and come very close myself to being killed by the "4-wheeled locusts". I once got stopped by a cop for riding my bike against the flow of traffic but after relating two horror stories to the officer as to why I do NOT ride with traffic, he let me go with but a warning. I had some prick in a Camaro swerve towards me and rev his engine just this past Friday night...the first time in over a year I have ridden my bike on the street. I had no choice, though, because I was riding to the garage to pick up my SUV and didn't want to leave another vehicle there. I yelled "Fvck off!" at the c0cksucker and continued on my way just begging for him to hit the brakelights and stop.