[BigBallsMcFalls]

Hey I just bought this book on how to get HGH legally dilivered to my door. Do you think its ok to take HGH in prep for a race? or do you think its cheating? since most if not all the pro's are doing it any ways, even if they say they are not. I need to know this before I buy some stuff.

 

[Polandspring88]

Never. You can take that "everyone is doing it" attitude, but when you are just racing on a non-pro level, I am willing to bet that very few people are doing it. If they are, or you for that matter, you are cheating yourself. Do you want to win a race by training and putting in mile after mile and working for it? Or do you want to win a race and be able to attribute your performance gains to drugs. It is unfortunate that some people rely on drugs rather than their own hard work and will power to achieve success.

 

[Echo]

Worst thread ever.

 

[Zark]

Ya friggen cheater. Get on your bike and EARN IT!

 

[Westy]

It is cheating and it is dangerous. One thing with HGH is if you take it artificially your body stops producing it naturally. If you stop taking it your natural levels plummet. If you can afford the expense of getting the stuff legally just get a coach instead, they will show you how to get more out of your training the fair and safely.

 

[Sherpa]

Worst thread ever.

 

[The Toninator]

Side affects of hgh include an increase in blood pressure, fluid retention, carpal tunnel syndrome, and joint pain.

 

[BigBallsMcFalls]

I think you guys are right. I wont buy any yet!!! It is real though, I do know this much, its from a Doctors office. But I think your right since I am only going to be racing amm right now, It would just be cheating since most of them wont be doing it as well. But there is this one guy who I know is on it, and he keeps winning amm and pro races, How can I beat this guy> and why can he race in the amm races? he is so on roids its funny he weighs about 220 of solid riped mass of vaines. and he aint that tall like 5' 9" and he rides like a mad man so he should be small with big legs but he has 19 inch arms. so any ways how can I beat this guy?

 

[I Are Baboon]

Take those steroids and your username will have to get changed to "SmallBallsMcFalls."

 

[Sherpa]

I think you guys are right. I wont buy any yet!!! It is real though, I do know this much, its from a Doctors office. But I think your right since I am only going to be racing amm right now, It would just be cheating since most of them wont be doing it as well. But there is this one guy who I know is on it, and he keeps winning amm and pro races, How can I beat this guy> and why can he race in the amm races? he is so on roids its funny he weighs about 220 of solid riped mass of vaines. and he aint that tall like 5' 9" and he rides like a mad man so he should be small with big legs but he has 19 inch arms. so any ways how can I beat this guy?

He'll probably die of a heartache or have an anyeursm soon. No joke.

 

[Jeremy R]

I think you guys are right. I wont buy any yet!!! It is real though, I do know this much, its from a Doctors office. But I think your right since I am only going to be racing amm right now, It would just be cheating since most of them wont be doing it as well. But there is this one guy who I know is on it, and he keeps winning amm and pro races, How can I beat this guy> and why can he race in the amm races? he is so on roids its funny he weighs about 220 of solid riped mass of vaines. and he aint that tall like 5' 9" and he rides like a mad man so he should be small with big legs but he has 19 inch arms. so any ways how can I beat this guy?

You should not have to race this guy.
Unless you did not fully develop mentally, then I assuming you race in the junior class based on the content of your posts.
So, eat your wheaties and you will grow up big and strong.
And if that does not work, try a big sackful of crack!

 

[firetoole]

Drugs are bad Mkay

 

[DRB]

And if that does not work, try a big sackful of crack!

The big bag crack has worked for Jeremy. He has won DH nationals on that stuff. Before he was just a slow sport XC rider.

 

[Polandspring88]

If you cant beat him the fair way, we all know how Tonya Harding triumphed over Nancy Kerigan...

 

[BigBallsMcFalls]

Yeah we should not, but we do have to race him, everyone complains but yet there he is racing with us and takes the pot, every time. some one said its because he lets his license expire or does not get a pro license till the big race comes out, so he gets to race with us? how can we stop him then? I am not sure if this is what he does, but he is racing with us, and we dont really know how he does it. but any ways, I decided to not take any thing, I will wait till he dies and then race for a benefit to rase money in his behalf

 

[DRB]

Yeah we should not, but we do have to race him, everyone complains but yet there he is racing with us and takes the pot, every time. some one said its because he lets his license expire or does not get a pro license till the big race comes out, so he gets to race with us? how can we stop him then? I am not sure if this is what he does, but he is racing with us, and we dont really know how he does it. but any ways, I decided to not take any thing, I will wait till he dies and then race for a benefit to rase money in his behalf

Jeremy I think he already knows about the big bag of crack training program........

 

[blt2ride]

The repercussions of taking drugs are not worth the pay-off. Get out there and train! Taking drugs will be a life changing event, and within a few months you will have a lot of regrets...

 

[Jeremy R]

Jeremy I think he already knows about the big bag of crack training program........

or maybe he is Brian Fellows........



02a: Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band

Brian Fellow's Safari Planet

Brian Fellow.....Tracy Morgan
Gabby Connors.....Horatio Sanz
Sean Kelly.....Matt Damon




[ start music, show Brian standing, pacing in place, pointing to cartoon animals ]

Voiceover: Brian Fellow is not an accredited zoologist, nor does he hold an advanced degree in any of the environmental sciences. He is simply an enthusiastic young man with a sixth grade education and an abiding love for all of God's creatures. Share his love, tonight on.. [ musical interlude ] BRIAN FELLOW'S SAFARI PLANET! (end music)

[ show Brian sitting alone looking at camera ]

Brian Fellow: Good evening and welcome to Brian Fellow's Safari Planet. I'm Brian Fellow!! Hey! Dig this! Tonight, we're gonna meet some animals that are very messy, becuase some of them were raised in a barn! I'm very excited! so, let's get going! Our first guest is like a human cactus! Please welcome.. a porcu-pi-i-i-ine!

[ Dale Dudley enters with porcupine ]

Brian Fellow: And who are you?!

Dale Dudley: Uh.. I'm Dale Dudley, from the Texas Wildlife Center in Austin.

Brian Fellow: Hello, Austin!

Dale Dudley: [ chuckles ] No, I'm from the Wildlife Center in Austin. My name is Dale Dudley.

Brian Fellow: I'm Brian Fellow!!!

Dale Dudley: Hello, Brian. I want you to meet my porcupine friend - his name is Willy.

Brian Fellow: That rat needs a haircut!

Dale Dudley: You're.. half right. The porcupine is in the rodent family. Those hairs are actually a thousand quills.

Brian Fellow: All I'm saying is he needs a haircut! Looking all homeless, and stuff!

Dale Dudley: [ chuckles ] His shaggy appearance is helpful in many ways.

Brian Fellow: Well, I imagine that his short quils are evolution's way of providing him with an excellent defense against his natural predators!

Dale Dudley: [ smiles ] Yea-ah! That's very good, yeah.

Brian Fellow: I'm Brain Fellow!!

Dale Dudley: [ continues ] And his quills are also important in the mating process, see? The male impregnates the female by spraying her quills..

Brian Fellow: [ angered ] Hush up! That dirty talk!

Dale Dudley: I'm sorry?

Brian Fellow: We don't talk about the birds and the bees on this show! Unless our guests are birds or bees! And sometimes not even then!

Dale Dudley: I'm sorry.

Brian Fellow: Keep it clean, please!

Dale Dudley: Alright. Well.. the quills are also used in self-defense. The tail is covered with over 30,000 quills, set in, uh.. you know, snake barbs. Right? So, they can give you avery nasty prick-

Brian Fellow: See, that's it! I said no dirty talk! That is it! Take him away! You and your shaggy friend have to go! Please! [ Dale exits with his porcupine ] Put some soap in your mouth! I apologize about that, ladies and gentlemen. Hopefully, we'll bleep that on the West Coast. [ pauses, then smiles ] Our next guest likes mus and going to the market. Please welcome, a pot-bellied pi-i-i-i-igg!

[ Sean Kelly enters with pot-bellied pig ]

Brian Fellow: And who are you?

Sean Kelly: I'm Sean Kelly, from the Shawndale Ranch in Modesto, California.

Brian Fellow: I'm Brian Fellow!!

Sean Kelly: Hi, Brian!

Brian Fellow: Hi-i-i!!

Sean Kelly: Hello. Uh.. this is Zevon.. and he's a two-year old pot-bellied pig.

Brian Fellow: I don't care what he is! He better not talk dirty like that cactus rat! I know that!

Sean Kelly: Uh, no.. he won't.. but, although pigs are known to play in the mud a bit, they are surprisingly, uh.. clean animals. They make excellent housepets..

Brian Fellow: Why does that pig hate Jewish people?! Why? Why? Tell us why he hates Jewish people!

Sean Kelly: [ confused ] I-I have no idea what you're talking about..

Brian Fellow: Well, you would think that, since they don't eat him, he would be happy!

Sean Kelly: [ more confused ] O-kay. [ quick pause ] Well, miniature pot-bellied pigs aren't bred to be eaten by anyone, so.. so they are happy.

Brian Fellow: I know your pig got a fat gut! He should wear a big belt buckle! That's what my Uncle Kool-Aid does.

Sean Kelly: [ confused ] You have an Uncle Kool-Aid?

Brian Fellow: Leave Kool-Aid out of this, please! So, tell us: how is different than a regular pig?

Sean Kelly: Oh, well, that's a great question. Uh.. besides the obvios size.. [ touches top of pig cage ]

Brian Fellow: [ alarmed ] Don't let him out!

Sean Kelly: Well, okay, but.. but.. besides the obvious size difference, the snout on miniatures is significantly longer than most..

[ Sean keeps talking, as Brian's mind wanders to thoughts of the porcupine talking to him ]

Porcupine: Hey, Brian! Your show is going down the toilet! There's only one way to save it: let me show everybody my weiner!

Brian Fellow: [ alarmed ] NO!!! IU son't want to see your weiner!

Sean Kelly: [ confused ] Uh, well.. I.. I had no intention of showing you my weiner.

Brian Fellow: Well, can you and your bloated friend kill a porcupine?!

Sean Kelly: Uh.. I run a shelter for animals.. I don't kill them..

Brian Fellow: [ waves $5 bill seductively ] What if Abe Lincoln asked you to do it?

Sean Kelly: Absolutely not!

Brian Fellow: Well, I guess I gotta kill him myself! Well, that's all the time we have for today! Join me next time when my guest will be a fruit fly! 'Cause that's crazy!! And I'm Brian Fellow!!

[ music plays, fade to dark ]




SNL Transcripts

 

[Silver]

How many hours do you ride a week?

 

[Hawkeye]

Hello my name is Jason Giambi and I am a loser.

read about his health problems the last year and a half and get back to me.

 

[DRB]

or maybe he is Brian Fellows........

I was thinking Special Ed

"I peed in your pool!"
"That's okay."
"Yay, it's okay that I peed in your pool, yay!"

 

[BigBallsMcFalls]

About 4 hours a day for 4-5 days 5 nights lifting weights. run about 1 hour a day 3 days. I might just try to pick up my speed on some days see if that helps, My bigest problem is going to other states, and trying to breathe at the higher altitudes. Fla, kid here. any advice will help thanks.

 

[Wumpus]

I thought this thread was a joke.

 

[SkaredShtles]

What are you, 14 years old?

This might be the most retarded thread I've ever read.

 

[Silver]

About 4 hours a day for 4-5 days 5 nights lifting weights. run about 1 hour a day 3 days. I might just try to pick up my speed on some days see if that helps, My bigest problem is going to other states, and trying to breathe at the higher altitudes. Fla, kid here. any advice will help thanks.

You need to get all crazy if you want to win. Do everything you can get your hands on. Even the stuff that counteracts the other stuff. And use huge dosages. If you want to be a champion like Tom Simpson, you have to stop being such a pussy.

 

[Toshi]

sometimes you just have to accept you don't have what it takes. quit. now.

:nuts:

 

[silly_rabbit]

Drugs are bad Mkay

I agree.

 

[DRB]

You need to get all crazy if you want to win. Do everything you can get your hands on. Even the stuff that counteracts the other stuff. And use huge dosages. If you want to be a champion like Tom Simpson, you have to stop being such a pussy.

No way. This is horrible advice. I think that you should take your competition hostage. Don't kill them because that would be bad. But just hold them for the race then let them go. That would probably be best.

Either that or "act" retarded and they may feel sorry for you and let you win.

 

[Changleen]

You need to get all crazy if you want to win. Do everything you can get your hands on. Even the stuff that counteracts the other stuff. And use huge dosages. If you want to be a champion like Tom Simpson, you have to stop being such a pussy.

I'm with Silver. All this being straight is lame. Take whatever you can get your hands on, Steroids, HGH, Ephydrine, MDMA, LSD, Codine, crack, hell even Pot. Stuff it down your neck like it's going out of fashion. Wash it down with Espressos and Absinth. I find when my fingers are tingling and I can see trails from movement and the carpet is washing around my feet is a great time to train.

 

[riderx]

any advice will help thanks.

F--- the heart rate monitor, get a single speed.

 

[riderx]

If you want to be a champion like Tom Simpson, you have to stop being such a pussy.

*
*
*
That's the spirit!
*
*
*

Tom Simpson (30 November 1937 - 13 July 1967) was a top British road racing cyclist of the 1960s who famously died of exhaustion on the slopes of Mont Ventoux during the 13th stage of the Tour de France on Friday 13 July 1967. The post mortem found that he had taken amphetamines and alcohol, a diuretic combination which proved fatal when coupled with the hot conditions, the notoriously hard climb of the Ventoux and a pre-existing stomach complaint.

 

[reflux]

I'm with Silver. All this being straight is lame. Take whatever you can get your hands on, Steroids, HGH, Ephydrine, MDMA, LSD, Codine, crack, hell even Pot. Stuff it down your neck like it's going out of fashion. Wash it down with Espressos and Absinth. I find when my fingers are tingling and I can see trails from movement and the carpet is washing around my feet is a great time to train.

Don't forget the Nyquil.





(okay, this is in reference to what?)

 

[reflux]

Seriously, get a coach if you want to get fast the right way. A good coach will be able to tell you when to work, when to work hard, and when to rest. If you don't take into account proper rest periods, you will risk overtraining and wasting whatever work you had put in up to that date.

 

[BigBallsMcFalls]

OK..OK.. After reading all of this, I decided that 5 bags of crack 3 joints 4 beers, 2 tabs of acid and d-bals and HGH all mixed together in one pill + bring up my heart rate with all the diferent types of speed I can find, will help. Now did I get all of this down? and what do I tell my new caoch about this stuff? j/k

 

[valve bouncer]

Take those steroids and your username will have to get changed to "SmallBallsMcFalls."

Hehehehehe

 

[Polandspring88]

I hear that if you inject air bubbles into your blood stream it helps your muscles get oxygen faster.

 

[Hawkeye]

Wear one of those paint masks when you ride. that will choke off the oxygen and get your lungs going.

 

[Angus]

Nice Avatar!




4 things

1. Put a shirt on
2. Steriods BAD!
3. Try READING
4. Steriods STILL BAD!!!!Bad Mongo Bad.....

 

[genpowell71]

Drugs bad. Cheater