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TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,556
0
I'm homeless
So there's this chick I've been friends with for a little while now. She has a piece of **** boyfriend who is super controlling and blows up her phone when she isn't at work, home, or with him. All she does is complain about how he's a piece of ****.

So I started half joking about how she needs to dump him so she can merry me and be my sugar mamma and buy me a BMW. I've always kind of had a thing for her cause she's hot and my type but I've always been involved with another girl so I didn't really care. But now said other girl I was hooking up with is gone and we started hanging out more. We got drunk at a mutual friends house and I woke up cuddling with this girl. (didn't pound her, but that's cool by me, if i'ma keep her around seeing her not actually cheat on her dude is a good sign) that was last week and since then she's spend the night a couple times. Any advice on getting rid of her current dude so I can get on this girl???
 

dump

Turbo Monkey
Oct 12, 2001
5,771
576
If it's on that level, tell her to get rid of her dude.

If it's not on that level, enjoy it while you can.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
30,949
4,113
Portland, OR
If he's not right for you, he's not right. Let him go, if he loves you, he will come back.

Or PIIHB.
 

bizutch

Delicate CUSTOM flower
Dec 11, 2001
15,923
9
Over your shoulder whispering
Similar scenario for me. I wound up marrying the sweetest chic on the planet after she got sick of the douche bag. Lucky me. 2 awesome kids later and I don't regret it. Heck, we dropped our 6 year old off this morning at school and she ran me on some pre-work shuttles.

Whatcha got to lose? If he looks like a derailleur, you can take him down too.
 

Craw

Monkey
Mar 17, 2002
715
0
What will most likely happen is that while she may hook up with you, she always go back to her douche boyfriend.
 

TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,556
0
I'm homeless
If it's on that level, tell her to get rid of her dude.

If it's not on that level, enjoy it while you can.
That's not my style though, I feel weird just being all, ditch your dude for me
So easy. Just set up a situaton where he sees you and the chick being innocent together but he will assume the worst and when he calls her out for cheating and being a ho they will be done and you and said chick can get done like James Brown.
good idea actually....
You're on your way to getting your a$$ kicked or shot
Hahaha, not worried about it. The kid lives in walnut creek, he thinks he's a little bonehead (racist skinhead) if he tries anything with me my friends get a "we have a nazi problem" call
 

bizutch

Delicate CUSTOM flower
Dec 11, 2001
15,923
9
Over your shoulder whispering
That's not my style though, I feel weird just being all, ditch your dude for me

Nope, this is how you play it. You tell her that she's suffocating and being held back from accomplishing all the things out there waiting in life for her. Tell her she needs to travel, to take the chance to go where she wants, when she wants and to find out who she really is.

When she agrees and her eyes gloss over about how much you care for her freedom and well being, you're in.

As stated before, worked for me.

Oh, and if you're me, a year into being engaged peckerwood sneaks a post to her on MySpace, then you notify the authorities of his illicit activites and exact home address. Then you'll get to learn about him being arrested for them on the news.

Now that was priceless.:rofl:
 

Polandspring88

Superman
Mar 31, 2004
3,075
0
Broomfield, CO
So there's this chick I've been friends with for a little while now. She has a piece of **** boyfriend who is super controlling and blows up her phone when she isn't at work, home, or with him. All she does is complain about how he's a piece of ****.
Trying to hook up with Kesha I see...

Report him to the Department of Homeland Security as a terrorist. Blowing up phones could hurt someone!
 
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binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
21,712
525
NC
That's not my style though, I feel weird just being all, ditch your dude for me
Ahh. Not your style just being honest and telling someone what you want.

I can see how that is. Me, I'm the same way. I'd far rather play juvenile games, sneak around, give the girl what she wants (someone to make her feel special) while not getting what I want (a girlfriend), and in general get used until the newness wears off and she goes back to the douchebag.

If she was just someone whose company you enjoyed in the short term, that'd be one thing. I wouldn't be super comfortable fooling around with some other guy's girlfriend but in the end, she's responsible for her relationship, not you. But if that were the case, you wouldn't be starting a thread asking how to get rid of him.
 

jonKranked

Press Button, Receive Stupid
Nov 10, 2005
61,692
8,270
media blackout
Hahaha, not worried about it. The kid lives in walnut creek, he thinks he's a little bonehead (racist skinhead) if he tries anything with me my friends get a "we have a nazi problem" call
I think you should make that call regardless of the female situation.
 

TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,556
0
I'm homeless
is this the girl?
Nope, I stay away from chicks who are into hardcore, they are too crazy, and too much like dudes
Ahh. Not your style just being honest and telling someone what you want.

I can see how that is. Me, I'm the same way. I'd far rather play juvenile games, sneak around, give the girl what she wants (someone to make her feel special) while not getting what I want (a girlfriend), and in general get used until the newness wears off and she goes back to the douchebag.

If she was just someone whose company you enjoyed in the short term, that'd be one thing. I wouldn't be super comfortable fooling around with some other guy's girlfriend but in the end, she's responsible for her relationship, not you. But if that were the case, you wouldn't be starting a thread asking how to get rid of him.
We're not actually fooling around yet, which is making me want to actually keep her around. It's more the, she's about to break up with the dude (i think and hope) and don't really want to get involved but I'm thinking that our mutual friends encouragement isn't enough
I think you should make that call regardless of the female situation.
Hahaha, I don't like to actively hunt people down and start **** like that. If he runs his mouth I will though. My IDF friends are starting to come out of the military and move back to the states, some of them would be more than happy to deal with some nazis

Hush. You're, ugly, fat, AND retarded.

You have no chance.

Move along.
Ugly and retarded yes. Fat?? Far from, you can see my ribcage
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
38,937
5,627
Sleazattle
Set up some kind of spelling competition, she will be so amazed she will likely merry you on the spot.
 

rockofullr

confused
Jun 11, 2009
7,356
917
East Bay, Cali
Asking relationship advice on RM? :crazy:

But since you think we have some good advice to give...

Stop being a pussy. If you want it, go get it. Tell her "I want to be with you. If you were mine I would (insert whatever her current guy fails at eg: give you space, cook you dinner, rub your feet, etc). Dude from Dub-C is not good enough for you."

Whatever you do don't pull some TV sitcom sh!t like trying to get her boyfriend to accuse her of cheating.

Good luck man and post pics so we can tell you if it's worth the effort or not.
 

TheTruth

Turbo Monkey
Jun 15, 2009
3,903
0
I'm waving. Can you see me now?
So there's this dude I've been friends with for a little while now. He has a piece of **** girlfriend who is super controlling and blows up his phone when he isn't at work, home, or with her. All he does is complain about how she's a piece of ****.

So I started half joking about how he needs to dump her so he can merry me and be my sugar daddy and buy me a BMW. I've always kind of had a thing for her cause she's hot and my type but I've always been involved with another guy so I didn't really care. But now said other guy I was hooking up with is gone and we started hanging out more. We got drunk at a mutual friends house and I woke up cuddling with this dude. (didn't pound him, but that's cool by me, if i'ma keep him around seeing him not actually cheat on his girl is a good sign) that was last week and since then she's spend the night a couple times. Any advice on getting rid of his current girl so I can get on this bro???
Fixed
 

FlyinPolack

Monkey
Jul 16, 2007
371
0
Just get her in the sack
give her the 10 minute crotch oriented seizure.
Then you get to be the douchebag boyfriend!:thumb:
 

mandown

Poopdeck Repost
Jun 1, 2004
14,765
2,195
Transylvania 90210
friend of a friend story, short version -
bud of mine knew a hot chick. hot chick was in a relationship with a duche` that she complained about all the time. bud sacks up and says "ditch the zero, get with the hero." chick gets turned on and jumps ship. they are in bliss until, he finds out that she has issues with finances and substances, though he doesn't find out until they are far down the road and her hook is set. one ugly break up later, she is out on the town finding new prey and he is at home alone feeling like a grade-a sucker.

chicks in relationships with douche` guys are there because they deserve it. they aren't wired for stable relationships. my favorite chapter title from a relationship book, which sums up where you are - White Knights and Black Holes. Don't get sucked in, even if it is just a low-voltage carbon-nanotube laboratory black hole.
 

jonKranked

Press Button, Receive Stupid
Nov 10, 2005
61,692
8,270
media blackout
friend of a friend story, short version -
bud of mine knew a hot chick. hot chick was in a relationship with a duche` that she complained about all the time. bud sacks up and says "ditch the zero, get with the hero." chick gets turned on and jumps ship. they are in bliss until, he finds out that she has issues with finances and substances, though he doesn't find out until they are far down the road and her hook is set. one ugly break up later, she is out on the town finding new prey and he is at home alone feeling like a grade-a sucker.

chicks in relationships with douche` guys are there because they deserve it. they aren't wired for stable relationships. my favorite chapter title from a relationship book, which sums up where you are - White Knights and Black Holes. Don't get sucked in, even if it is just a low-voltage carbon-nanotube laboratory black hole.
so, what you're saying is that monty should forget the chick and go brokeback mountain with her bf?
 

dante

Unabomber
Feb 13, 2004
8,814
9
looking for classic NE singletrack
chicks in relationships with douche` guys are there because they deserve it. they aren't wired for stable relationships. my favorite chapter title from a relationship book, which sums up where you are - White Knights and Black Holes. Don't get sucked in, even if it is just a low-voltage carbon-nanotube laboratory black hole.
EXACTLY. If she'll cheat on him with you, she'll definitely cheat on you with him. You'll think you're the perfect boyfriend, rubbing her feet, making her dinner, etc, when all she wants is to F the bad-boy on the side. That way she gets the best of both worlds, the down-to-earth nice caring boyfriend and the wild, dangerous f***buddy.
 

TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,556
0
I'm homeless
Asking relationship advice on RM? :crazy:

But since you think we have some good advice to give...

Stop being a pussy. If you want it, go get it. Tell her "I want to be with you. If you were mine I would (insert whatever her current guy fails at eg: give you space, cook you dinner, rub your feet, etc). Dude from Dub-C is not good enough for you."

Whatever you do don't pull some TV sitcom sh!t like trying to get her boyfriend to accuse her of cheating.

Good luck man and post pics so we can tell you if it's worth the effort or not.
More for ****s and giggles than looking for serious advice.
She sounds like quite a keeper... what with her dating a racist skinhead. :think:
They have been together for 2 years, he wasn't always like that
And isn't the Montashu one of our Jewish monkeys? What could go wrong?
I am. really not worried about him...