I would rather stick some pages of her favorite magazines together.
Her:"You've been spanking it to the TV Guide?"
You:"Have you seen the lineup for Thursday night? Talk about MUST SEE TV, damn."
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.
- Thread starter Al C. Oholic
- Start date
Her:"You've been spanking it to the TV Guide?"
You:"Have you seen the lineup for Thursday night? Talk about MUST SEE TV, damn."
"This Golden Girls tribute was HOT!"
"It's like a snuff film, elder erotica and watching hand bags try to get laid all in one show! I could hardly keep myself out of the inflatable goat I bought, reminds me too much of Estelle Ghetty!"
i've found that the best way to handle something like this is to front-load the pain and get it over with. it won't end pleasantly, just break the lease and pay the fine. it's cheaper than divorce and/or therapy. also..
Rep Rep Rep Rep Rep!
Ok, I'm only giving this advice since I'm a 6-pack into the evening, so here goes. A contract will probably be put out on my life, but this is the REAL DEAL;
The most important thing I've learned about women (and my wife will kill me if she ever knows I told the secret) is that they're never mad about whatever it is their mad about. They're screaming mad that you didn't empty the dishwasher? It's not REALLY about the dishwasher, it's that you take her for granted and didn't compliment her on her new haircut. She's pissed as hell that you didn't take the garbage out? That's not really what it's about, it's you're breaking promises and the fact that you said you'd take her out to dinner on the weekend but forgot and did something else instead. And those are the SANE connections, most of them are completely incoherent and nonsensical. But that's not the point, the issue is that you have to figure out WHY she's pissed (not the little reasons she gives for flying off the handle). Maybe she's upset that you're leaving once your knee is better. Maybe you're doing something you shouldn't, or more likely not doing something you should. But whatever the superficial reason for her getting upset, there's an underlying cause that you have to get to. When you figure that out, go on to step two:
Step Two: whatever she's pissed about, you can't make better. There's a scene from White Men Can't Jump where Rosie tells Woody in the middle of the night that she's thirsty. He gets her a glass of water, and she lays into him, telling him that she doesn't need someone to fix everything, she needs someone to empathize with her or some sh!t. At the time I thought this was total crap. Ok, I still think it's total crap. BUT!! Unfortunately it's true. When a woman finally breaks down and tells you what's really wrong, YOU CAN"T FIX IT (unless it's literally your fault like leaving the toilet seat up). She doesn't want you to fix what's going on at work, or tell off her lying/cheating friends, or whatever, she just wants you to pat her on the back and empathize with her. It's against every natural instinct we have, but holy sh!t if it doesn't work. If she's pissed that you're going to be leaving for active duty, don't try to justify it or alleviate anything, just sympathize with her feelings and see how you can be supportive.
Sh!t, I think either the female assassins are after me because I said too much, or I need another beer. I'm going for the latter, but if the former was actually the case, avenge me. AVENGE ME!
The most important thing I've learned about women (and my wife will kill me if she ever knows I told the secret) is that they're never mad about whatever it is their mad about. They're screaming mad that you didn't empty the dishwasher? It's not REALLY about the dishwasher, it's that you take her for granted and didn't compliment her on her new haircut. She's pissed as hell that you didn't take the garbage out? That's not really what it's about, it's you're breaking promises and the fact that you said you'd take her out to dinner on the weekend but forgot and did something else instead. And those are the SANE connections, most of them are completely incoherent and nonsensical. But that's not the point, the issue is that you have to figure out WHY she's pissed (not the little reasons she gives for flying off the handle). Maybe she's upset that you're leaving once your knee is better. Maybe you're doing something you shouldn't, or more likely not doing something you should. But whatever the superficial reason for her getting upset, there's an underlying cause that you have to get to. When you figure that out, go on to step two:
Step Two: whatever she's pissed about, you can't make better. There's a scene from White Men Can't Jump where Rosie tells Woody in the middle of the night that she's thirsty. He gets her a glass of water, and she lays into him, telling him that she doesn't need someone to fix everything, she needs someone to empathize with her or some sh!t. At the time I thought this was total crap. Ok, I still think it's total crap. BUT!! Unfortunately it's true. When a woman finally breaks down and tells you what's really wrong, YOU CAN"T FIX IT (unless it's literally your fault like leaving the toilet seat up). She doesn't want you to fix what's going on at work, or tell off her lying/cheating friends, or whatever, she just wants you to pat her on the back and empathize with her. It's against every natural instinct we have, but holy sh!t if it doesn't work. If she's pissed that you're going to be leaving for active duty, don't try to justify it or alleviate anything, just sympathize with her feelings and see how you can be supportive.
Sh!t, I think either the female assassins are after me because I said too much, or I need another beer. I'm going for the latter, but if the former was actually the case, avenge me. AVENGE ME!
Can't you use a Military Clause? In the Air Force my friend had his first shirt write a letter to the landlord stating that it was "mission essential" for him to break the lease. He broke it with no penalties and moved into another apt down the road. Can you get your commander or superintendent to write you a similar one? I bet it would work.
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Carson is a s*it hole. I had to go there and qualify on M14 and M9. Two surgerys. And to give a safty briefing on longboarding. I also had a pillow pal who lived on post.
Everyone there is unhappy. Graffiti, Gangs, cars get broken into. It's a ghetto.
Pray you get assigned to an Air Force Base.
If i do go active, Carson would be nice since my family and the mountains would still be nearby. I'd see if I could get assigned to the 4th ID. It's supposed to be one of the nicer posts in the Army, aside from Germany. I do a lot of training there every year and I've never had any issues.
And AF bases are nice for sure but I don't really have any interest in a job that would put me one one. I wanna go infantry and that would put me on like Bragg, Carson, maybe Benning.
EDIT: and that might work but i think most of the command in my unit would have a problem writing that for me, not only that but my complex requires a copy of orders. they might not know the difference tho.
And AF bases are nice for sure but I don't really have any interest in a job that would put me one one. I wanna go infantry and that would put me on like Bragg, Carson, maybe Benning.
EDIT: and that might work but i think most of the command in my unit would have a problem writing that for me, not only that but my complex requires a copy of orders. they might not know the difference tho.
Women are insane.
You've found one who got out of the looney bin.
Start jerking it to Gangland. She'll leave.
You've found one who got out of the looney bin.
Start jerking it to Gangland. She'll leave.
inspired by Dante's revelation, i'll share one of my own. i wish they had taught me to look for this in school.
Borderline personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
pay attention to this part:
Borderline personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
pay attention to this part:
it explains a lot. you will start to notice many around you are infected to various degrees
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What happened to that other thread you just had about your girlfriend?
that was a drunk rant, i'd rather not interupt other people's important business on the monkey with my dribble.
That's what happens here in the lounge. I had a reply all crafted up to those 2 haters and then when I submitted it, the thread was gone. Another forum I visit is full of haters and it makes things miserable...trying to keep them away here.
it's no worries, i don't blame em for not caring about my problems, especially when i'm slurring em out online lol. if nobody hated on me then life wouldn't be as entertaining!
DANTE = WISE, wise, wise ass man!!!! How many years in the making is this "discovery?" ;
OP: Leave. Now. It's over. Roll out and don't look back.
Someone has started a mid-life crisis REALLY early.
No matter what use bit he's say crazy women are abousitly the fcks
evvvar .........
If she squirts she's crzy !
evvvar .........
If she squirts she's crzy !
AAAAAAAAAA, HA HA HA HA HA!
i like this guy.
i like this guy.
"I don't rap to get women, **** bitches. Give me a fat slut that cooks, and does dishes."
damn. late to this party.
back in Jan., I ended my 7yr relationship with my now ex-g/f. We had a house together, 2 dogs, 2 cats...everything was split evenly. Bitch went ****in' psycho, claiming I was messing around with "Co-worker A"...which I wasn't doing at that point. Ex was just extremely jealous and insecure, even though I had never even hugged another girl in the 7yrs we were together.
Anywho, 5mos later and ****'s still getting sorted out. Bitch gave away the bike that rode to Alaska on. Granted it was my fault for not getting it out of the house, but I didn't think she'd stoop to that level.
And that was after coming by the shop and making an ass out of herself in front of my co-workers.
And of course, that came after she yelled at "Co-worker A" over the phone, calling her fat and stupid. "Co-worker A" responded with "well I might be fat, but apparently Dustin likes it", then hung up. Snap! High-five! At that point, there was still nothing between us, but Co-worker A knew it would piss off my ex.
The relationship took a tumble and snowballed back in July when myself and my ex were at a team party that Co-worker A was also at. Co-worker A mentioned in passing that her and I would go to lunch occasionally, and had ridden in to work a few times. Keep in mind, Co-worker A is one of 2 other people at the shop around my age, and not married with kids.
damn. late to this party.
back in Jan., I ended my 7yr relationship with my now ex-g/f. We had a house together, 2 dogs, 2 cats...everything was split evenly. Bitch went ****in' psycho, claiming I was messing around with "Co-worker A"...which I wasn't doing at that point. Ex was just extremely jealous and insecure, even though I had never even hugged another girl in the 7yrs we were together.
Anywho, 5mos later and ****'s still getting sorted out. Bitch gave away the bike that rode to Alaska on. Granted it was my fault for not getting it out of the house, but I didn't think she'd stoop to that level.
And that was after coming by the shop and making an ass out of herself in front of my co-workers.
And of course, that came after she yelled at "Co-worker A" over the phone, calling her fat and stupid. "Co-worker A" responded with "well I might be fat, but apparently Dustin likes it", then hung up. Snap! High-five! At that point, there was still nothing between us, but Co-worker A knew it would piss off my ex.
The relationship took a tumble and snowballed back in July when myself and my ex were at a team party that Co-worker A was also at. Co-worker A mentioned in passing that her and I would go to lunch occasionally, and had ridden in to work a few times. Keep in mind, Co-worker A is one of 2 other people at the shop around my age, and not married with kids.
Errrr I so hat rap. Ow a days
Really
Threads like this make me think giving up huffing glue was a bad idea.