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Cairns World Champs

toodles

toodles

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Aug 24, 2004
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Is it too early to start a Cairns thread? I DGAF. With a little over a week to go, the riders are starting to show up to acclimatise to the start of Spring Down Under.

As an Aussie watching the Insta feed of the top pros, it's hilarious to hear the complaints about the travel time required to get to Australia. To be fair, with the exception of the Hannahs - Cairns is pretty remote for even the Australian team. Hell, the New Zealanders are closer to Cairns than Sam Hill is (I think).

Will Gwin take the title he's had coming for years even with a flat tyre, snapped chain, taipan bite and while wresting a croc? Will Loic back up his previous success? Will it rain again and turn to utter shite?
 
kidwoo

kidwoo

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Aug 25, 2003
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Will the track once again have everyone shaking their heads to why such a shitty course was chosen?


I hope the forehead, I mean brosnan, wins. Because he has a lot of room to tattoo "world champ, bitches" on that thing. And still have room for footnotes.

Neko mulligan made chainless cool before qwinn and got third here after taking soil samples with his teeth during his run. I don't even know if he's on the US team but he should win. He'll probably bail on the cardboard mono suit because it might rain too.


So yeah, soggy box faceplant, or billboard. One of those two.
 
toodles

toodles

ridiculously corgi proportioned
Aug 24, 2004
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kidwoo said:
Will the track once again have everyone shaking their heads to why such a shitty course was chosen?
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Even most Aussies don't rate the sprint at the end. Between that and Stromlo its almost like we're trying to scare people off riding here....
 
kidwoo

kidwoo

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Aug 25, 2003
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toodles said:
Even most Aussies don't rate the sprint at the end. Between that and Stromlo its almost like we're trying to scare people off riding here....
Click to expand...
Have you ridden it? Tell me if I'm off here.....
The pedal at the end and that dumb 270 corkscrew are both monumentally mid 90s novelty thinking. No excuse for that. The back and forth left right left right left right bullshit near the top, and the come to a stop hard left turn right before the worst rocky bit where momentum would allow for some real moments of awesome all scream spandex, Styrofoam crash hats and the 'can you ride it bro?' ethos of eras better left in the grave. Then there's the wide open highway that everyone literally rides the same speed. It's probably the only race I've watched that makes me mad, the course is so awful.
 
toodles

toodles

ridiculously corgi proportioned
Aug 24, 2004
5,824
5,201
Australia
kidwoo said:
Have you ridden it? Tell me if I'm off here.....
The pedal at the end and that dumb 270 corkscrew are both monumentally mid 90s novelty thinking. No excuse for that. The back and forth left right left right left right bullshit near the top, and the come to a stop hard left turn right before the worst rocky bit where momentum would allow for some real moments of awesome all scream spandex, Styrofoam crash hats and the 'can you ride it bro?' ethos of eras better left in the grave. Then there's the wide open highway that everyone literally rides the same speed. It's probably the only race I've watched that makes me mad, the course is so awful.
Click to expand...
Scarily accurate. There's is some pretty decent stuff up the top that doesn't really get shown (getting cameras there is practically impossible). Much the same as Stromlo though, the massive sprint (Stromlo included uphill) is all because the powers that be demanded arena style finish areas for coverage. When they approve these courses they need to factor that crap in before they say yes. I'm not going to bag Cairns too much in case I get lynched by my countrymen though.

slimshady said:
Or the bald guy from Midnight Oil, riding a Greenpeace-sponsored kangaroo.
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That guy (Peter Garrett) ended up becoming a politician and back-flipped on his previous environmental policies to tow the party line. He's probably busy endorsing a uranium mine somewhere.
 
kidwoo

kidwoo

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Aug 25, 2003
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That alien tree thing looks like a good stretch of trail but that's about all I've ever seen of the goods.

Watching some of the best bike riders in the world pelvic thrust through giant boulders at 2mph just to keep from getting hung up gives me gas. That section could be so good with a real approach.
 
kidwoo

kidwoo

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Aug 25, 2003
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toodles said:
, taipan bite
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Had to look this up. Because let's be honest, it's austrailia, it could be a venomous sock.

https://www.news-mail.com.au/news/why-coastal-taipan-such-deadly-snake/2993460/

"They are extremely nervous and alert snakes, and any movement near them is likely to trigger an attack.
"Like any snake the Taipan prefers to avoid conflict and will quietly slip away if given the chance, however if surprised or cornered it will ferociously defend itself.
" Invariably the snake will strike, often without any warning, inflicting multiple snapping bites with extreme accuracy and efficiency.



Sounds like Udi.
 
A

aaronjb

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Jul 22, 2010
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Vouilloz will return and win. He was still putting up superb results in EWS last year.
 
kidwoo

kidwoo

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EWS? You mean that thing that a mid pack downhiller showed up to do and immediately dominated in this year?
Yeah Vouilloz shows up and podiums on his trail bike like graves did at pitzymellowsberg. Then we all have to listen to a bunch of asshats spout off about how enduro bikes are the same thing as dh bikes again.

Told you this course sucked. :D
 
William42

William42

fork ways
Jul 31, 2007
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The problem with the internet, is that people can hide behind anonymity, and so they can lie and bend the truth with no repercussions. Sometimes I get the feeling Kidwoo isn't telling us how he really feels.
 
FlipSide

FlipSide

Turbo Monkey
Sep 24, 2001
1,432
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kidwoo said:
Have you ridden it? Tell me if I'm off here.....
The pedal at the end and that dumb 270 corkscrew are both monumentally mid 90s novelty thinking. No excuse for that. The back and forth left right left right left right bullshit near the top, and the come to a stop hard left turn right before the worst rocky bit where momentum would allow for some real moments of awesome all scream spandex, Styrofoam crash hats and the 'can you ride it bro?' ethos of eras better left in the grave. Then there's the wide open highway that everyone literally rides the same speed. It's probably the only race I've watched that makes me mad, the course is so awful.
Click to expand...
Accurate, but you forgot the best part: The woops section where peer-pressured helmetless spectators go try to kill themselves on bikes borrowed from injured riders.
 
iRider

iRider

Turbo Monkey
Apr 5, 2008
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kidwoo said:
I hope the forehead, I mean brosnan, wins. Because he has a lot of room to tattoo "world champ, bitches" on that thing. And still have room for footnotes.
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:rofl: I wonder why is not riding for Cannondale, he IS Mr. Headshok.



Oh wait, Cannondale doesn't have a DH bike anymore and also no Headshok.
 
iRider

iRider

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Apr 5, 2008
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toodles said:
That guy (Peter Garrett) ended up becoming a politician and back-flipped on his previous environmental policies to tow the party line. He's probably busy endorsing a uranium mine somewhere.
Click to expand...
The group was called Midnight OIL after all. ;)
 
Lelandjt

Lelandjt

adorbs
Apr 4, 2008
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kidwoo said:
Have you ridden it? Tell me if I'm off here.....
The pedal at the end and that dumb 270 corkscrew are both monumentally mid 90s novelty thinking. No excuse for that. The back and forth left right left right left right bullshit near the top, and the come to a stop hard left turn right before the worst rocky bit where momentum would allow for some real moments of awesome all scream spandex, Styrofoam crash hats and the 'can you ride it bro?' ethos of eras better left in the grave. Then there's the wide open highway that everyone literally rides the same speed. It's probably the only race I've watched that makes me mad, the course is so awful.
Click to expand...
Yes, most of the course was built for the 1996 world champs. I was there as a 16 year old and it was awesome to ride back then. The Bomber, GT Boomerang, and V-brakes all came out that summer just in time for Worlds. I agree the track needs a total overhaul, afterall, I'm 37 now!
 
jonKranked

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
88,641
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Lelandjt said:
Yes, most of the course was built for the 1996 world champs. I was there as a 16 year old and it was awesome to ride back then. The Bomber, GT Boomerang, and V-brakes all came out that summer just in time for Worlds. I agree the track needs a total overhaul, afterall, I'm 37 now!
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In the US, that race track is old enough to legally drink.
 
William42

William42

fork ways
Jul 31, 2007
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Well, if theres any sort of cosmic justice, Minnaar can crush everybody else like ants on the pedal section and snag another rainbow jersey for his collection, making up for the disappointing end to his season, and next year gwin can avoid getting a mechanical and get his redemption at Lenzerheide.

But secretly, I expect Marcelo to pull back 2-3 seconds on the final pedal and utterly smash everybody else, who are all sitting within .01s of each other. Except Gwin, who either had another mechanical despite no rocks, or crashed.
 
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William42

William42

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Jul 31, 2007
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I'm not trying to brag, but I once beat Rachel Atherton at Sea Otter, which is kind of a big deal.
 
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William42

William42

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Jul 31, 2007
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hey. fucker. you're not Russian Ballet Company level. quit yer bitching and enjoy pirouettes you'll never achieve with pants on
 
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