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Can we have a "It's not all bad news" thread?

jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
42,974
15,051
Portland, OR
Local douchebags save Hooters. :rofl:

“I come to Hooters to see the girls in the low-cut tops. I like the low-cut tops because it makes their boobs easier to see than normal clothes,” said one local hero, Jeremy Clemens, who has eaten at the beleaguered Hooters 16 times since the post. “So when I heard the restaurant was closing, I knew we had to support it in a big way.”


“Sometimes if you ask them to point to something on the menu, their boobs graze your shoulder. I like that too,” added Clemens.
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Pesqueeb

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
41,726
19,025
Riding the baggage carousel.
Westy

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
55,944
21,977
Sleazattle
Pesqueeb said:
Fucking, bravo. I hope this is how it starts. I grew up in a park service household. Nobody with a career at NPS is doing it for the money, that's for damn sure. I want to buy each and every one of these folks a really nice whiskey.
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Gots me a twitter account just for this
 
Jim Mac

Jim Mac

MAKE ENDURO GREAT AGAIN
May 21, 2004
6,352
282
the middle east of NY
How about funny news? I heart my local Onion-esque site, the Albany Smudge:
Schaghticoke man says he would ‘do’ Kellyanne Conway
By Quack Davis
Published February 19th, 2016
"
TROY — Flip Mellencamp loves President Trump, but he lusts for The Donald’s counselor, Kellyanne Conway.

“She’s one sweet-looking cherry!” Mellencamp, 58, told the Smudge. “I’d definitely do her. Yes, sir, I would.”

Mellencamp, an unemployed fruit stand assistant who’s divorced, said he became “very aroused” the first time his eyes feasted on the 50-year-old Conway — a blonde bombshell and the pride of Atco, N.J., which is just a stone’s throw from the wretched city of Camden.

Mellencamp explained he was turned on by Conway’s intelligence, breasts and her experience with blueberries — a fruit which she gained in-depth knowledge of while spending summers during her youth working on a blueberry farm in nearby Hammonton.

“The faster you went, the more money you'd make,” Conway said, according to Wikipedia.

Conway was just 16 when she captured the crown of New Jersey Blueberry Princess. Then, at age 20, Conway won the World Champion Blueberry Packing competition.

"Everything I learned about life and business started on that farm,” Conway has reportedly said.

Mellencamp said he loves blueberries and fornication, and suspects if he was to meet Conway, the two could talk about their mutual respect for Trump over blueberry pie.
He said he purchased Conway’s book — What Women Really Want: How American Women Are Quietly Erasing Political, Racial, Class, and Religious Lines to Change the Way We Live —but was upset it contained no pictures of Conway posing naked with blueberries.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m real horny and I’d do her if she was to give me that honor,” Mellencamp said.

Told of Mellencamp’s comments, Conway accused the Smudge of reporting “non-alternative facts” about blueberries, adding that as a married woman with four children she would take out a restraining order against Mellencamp.

She also said she was flattered, and she encouraged Mellencamp to follow her and the president on Twitter."


http://thealbanysmudge.com/articles/17_02_19/SchaghticokeMan_KellyanneConway.html
 
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