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Can you buy a mailbox which doubles as a landmine?

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narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
some punk-ass kid(s) decided to use our street for rally practice sometime last night/early morning. they carved a deep rut in the edge of my lawn at the street and took out my mailbox. :angry: :mumble:

grass, sod, dirt everywhere. hopefully my mailbox put a nice dent in daddy's SUV while in its death throes.
 

Lexx D

Dirty Dozen
Mar 8, 2004
1,480
0
NY
No, but you can do what one of my high school teachers did after he lost 7 in one winter to plow trucks. He dug a 2' deep hole and cemented it in, the next winter when the plow hit his mail box it broke the plow :thumb:
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
i might do that...the mailbox and post was in ICU to begin w/ , because it got tagged twice by plows this year. what did yr teacher use as a post? wouldn't that be the weak link of the structure (unless he poured the concrete high, over the ground level, and that's what the plow hit?)
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
55,996
22,031
Sleazattle
Get one of those huge mailboxes, and a regular one. Place the small mailbox inside the big one and fill the gap between them with cement. Cement a post in the ground and cut it near the bottom at a 45 degree angle. Drill a 1" hole into the cut ends of the post. Grease up a 1" wooden dowel and insert it into the post in the ground and place the other post on top. What you have here is a mailbox that will break the wrist of any punk who tries to hit it with a baseball bat but will swivel out of the way of a plow and self center. If something big enough to break it hits it just replace the 1" dowel. Of course you may need a good lawyer of some soccer mom veers off the road and gets decapitated by your cement mailbox.
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,165
1,261
NC
We used to have this trouble when I was living in CT as a kid. Teenagers would drive by with baseball bats/sledgehammers hanging out their car window and take out the mailbox.

My dad dug a 2 or 3' deep hole with a post hole digger, and cemented a 6x6 post into the ground. He then took a few 2x4's and cut them into pieces, and made a cage for the mailbox. The caged mailbox was then securely bolted to the 6x6 via some 90 degree bend steel plates and some enormous bolts.

A couple times after that, we'd find dents in the cage where something had hit it. Once we found a sledgehammer-head sized dent in the side, and a lot of broken window glass on the ground - our theory was someone had hit it with a sledgehammer, it bounced off and hit the rear window of the car. Never lost a mailbox again, though...
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
55,996
22,031
Sleazattle
narlus said:
you are a madman and a genius.

plus, i have been laughnig like hell at a lot of yr posts lately.
I've decided to put less effort into work and more effort into ****ing off at work. My momma always used to say "do what your good at" and my true talents lie in ****ing off at work.
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,165
1,261
NC
narlus said:
how did you secure the mailbox to the post, though? wouldn't that be the weak link? or was it a single unit?
Re-read :D

We bought some of those big thick steel plates with a 90 degree bend from the hardware store... Those ones that they use for mounting support beams in houses. The bolts were ~4" long that we used to hold them on - we had to offset the plates on each side so that the bolts wouldn't run into each other.

Frankly, I'm sure the 6x6 pole would have splintered before those plates gave way.
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
gotcha...i read the cage as being for the base of the post/concrete union...

i don't think i'm gonna go that crazy. i'll see what kind of inspiration i have tomorrow.

edit - maybe if i'm lucky, my mailbox will be resurrected by sunday. :sneaky:
 

GumbaFish

Turbo Monkey
Oct 5, 2004
1,747
0
Rochester N.Y.
Have someone weld you a mailbox out of like 1 inch thick sheet metal. Then instead of just having a post you use a metal pipe. Then get an old suspension spring from a car at the junkyard. Weld the spring to the mailbox and the pipe. Place the pipe like 2 feet in the ground and fill in cement. And there you go, a mailbox that wont break and will just snap back up after a punk tries to whack it.
 

golgiaparatus

Out of my element
Aug 30, 2002
7,340
41
Deep in the Jungles of Oklahoma
narlus said:
i might do that...the mailbox and post was in ICU to begin w/ , because it got tagged twice by plows this year. what did yr teacher use as a post? wouldn't that be the weak link of the structure (unless he poured the concrete high, over the ground level, and that's what the plow hit?)
Go get yourself a 6" solid steel pole. and make sure you camoflage it with wood so it looks breakable :D And mount it 3 feet in just for good measure.
 

DRB

unemployed bum
Oct 24, 2002
15,242
0
Watchin' you. Writing it all down.
About 3 years ago my parents replaced their air conditioner and furnace. Under the house they found about 14 traffic signs and about 60 mail boxes under a tarp. I called an "associate" of mine from high school told him about it. The booty at his house had been discovered about 7 years ago. The ones that could be identified back to the house got tossed in their front yards that next weekend with a beer can and a note.
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM MAGA!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,224
381
Bay Area, California
narlus said:
how did you secure the mailbox to the post, though? wouldn't that be the weak link? or was it a single unit?
Dig a 2'-3' deep hole place a 2" galvanized steel pipe (plumbing supply or Home depot) Cement the pipe in the ground, then fill the pipe with cement, level off the cememt then inbed 2 galvanized bolts into the wet cement and let dry. Mark the bottom of the mailbox and drill it out. Use nuts & washers to secure.

Done:thumb:
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
DRB said:
About 3 years ago my parents replaced their air conditioner and furnace. Under the house they found about 14 traffic signs and about 60 mail boxes under a tarp. I called an "associate" of mine from high school told him about it. The booty at his house had been discovered about 7 years ago. The ones that could be identified back to the house got tossed in their front yards that next weekend with a beer can and a note.
it would take more than a can of beer to placate me.

has karma caught up to you or yr mailbox yet?
 

COmtbiker12

Turbo Monkey
Dec 17, 2003
2,577
0
Colorado Springs
Brian HCM#1 said:
Dig a 2'-3' deep hole place a 2" galvanized steel pipe (plumbing supply or Home depot) Cement the pipe in the ground, then fill the pipe with cement, level off the cememt then inbed 2 galvanized bolts into the wet cement and let dry. Mark the bottom of the mailbox and drill it out. Use nuts & washers to secure.

Done:thumb:
Then take one of those pieces of wood that are the size of old railroad ties. Cut it to length. Then get a bigass drill press and drill out the inside to the diameter of the pole, then stick it on top of the pole. :D
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Westy said:
Get one of those huge mailboxes, and a regular one. Place the small mailbox inside the big one and fill the gap between them with cement. Cement a post in the ground and cut it near the bottom at a 45 degree angle. Drill a 1" hole into the cut ends of the post. Grease up a 1" wooden dowel and insert it into the post in the ground and place the other post on top. What you have here is a mailbox that will break the wrist of any punk who tries to hit it with a baseball bat but will swivel out of the way of a plow and self center. If something big enough to break it hits it just replace the 1" dowel. Of course you may need a good lawyer of some soccer mom veers off the road and gets decapitated by your cement mailbox.

Damn...I'm glad my days of mailbox baseball are over with people like you around! Did you get that recipe from one of those underground combat publications? Are you like that character Jim Carrey used to play on In Living Color...Dickie something or other...Cherub of Justice?
 

Salami

Turbo Monkey
Jul 17, 2003
1,788
121
Waxhaw, NC
:mumble:
binary visions said:
We used to have this trouble when I was living in CT as a kid. Teenagers would drive by with baseball bats/sledgehammers hanging out their car window and take out the mailbox.
Where in CT?

I grew up in North Haven and my neighbor and his friends used to do something simlar around July 4, except it inolved explosives. :devil:


I remember right before one 4th he showed me his collection of fireworks and he had some enormous explosive, I think he said it was a quarter stick. Anyways, a few nights later we found part of our mailbox on the side of the house which was about 50 feet from where it originally was.
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Salami said:
:mumble:

Where in CT?

I grew up in North Haven and my neighbor and his friends used to do something simlar around July 4, except it inolved explosives. :devil:


I remember right before one 4th he showed me his collection of fireworks and he had some enormous explosive, I think he said it was a quarter stick. Anyways, a few nights later we found part of our mailbox on the side of the house which was about 50 feet from where it originally was.
Ahhh the good ole M80! I'm surprised me and my brother and sister have any limbs after our childhood shenanigans.
 

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,742
10,684
MTB New England
I think narlus should just have Loco stand on one side of the mailbox and SkaredShuttles stand on the other side. That way if anyone comes swinging with a bat, Shuttles or Loco will absorb the blow.
 

Salami

Turbo Monkey
Jul 17, 2003
1,788
121
Waxhaw, NC
dh girlie said:
Ahhh the good ole M80!

Whatever he had wasn't an M80. He always had TONS of M-80's but this one was different. It was about 2-3 times the size of an M-80. This was in the early 80's when an M-80 had some balls.


I remember going fishing in the back yard with the good M-80's. :evil:
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Salami said:
Whatever he had wasn't an M80. He always had TONS of M-80's but this one was different. It was about 2-3 times the size of an M-80. This was in the early 80's when an M-80 had some balls.


I remember going fishing in the back yard with the good M-80's. :evil:

You forget, I'm old...M80's in my childhood days in the 70's definitely had some balls...my oldest sisters psycho husband used to get em from some 200 year old Chinese dude in a back alley Chinatown in SF for us...
 

Salami

Turbo Monkey
Jul 17, 2003
1,788
121
Waxhaw, NC
dh girlie said:
..M80's in my childhood days in the 70's definitely had some balls...

I agree!!! But what I am getting at is whatever did our mail box in was no M-80. It was bigger and badder. For some reason I remember him calling it an M-100, was there such a thing?
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
55,996
22,031
Sleazattle
dh girlie said:
Damn...I'm glad my days of mailbox baseball are over with people like you around! Did you get that recipe from one of those underground combat publications? Are you like that character Jim Carrey used to play on In Living Color...Dickie something or other...Cherub of Justice?
I remember reading about the pivoting part from a Popular Science magazine from when I was about 10. The concrete mailbox is a creation of my desire to see punk ass kids get sent to the emergency room.
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Westy said:
I remember reading about the pivoting part from a Popular Science magazine from when I was about 10. The concrete mailbox is a creation of my desire to see punk ass kids get sent to the emergency room.

Couple of months ago there were some punk ass kids that took a for sale sign off of the house directly across the street from me and put in the lawn of the house on my left...tore the plants out of the large pots in the house across from me NEXT to the house that was really for sale...then took the guy on the OTHER side of my houses garbage and recycling bins that were out for collection and put the contents all over his driveway and lawn...THEN they took lemons from my lemon tree and threw em all over the lawn of the house they took the for sale sign from...but did nothing to my house...I wonder if they all thought I was the culprit...
 

Curb Hucker

I am an idiot
Feb 4, 2004
3,661
0
Sleeping in my Kenworth
The mailbox at the company I work for is the way to go. Brick, Steel, and Concrete. 18"x18" of brick aound the outside. A 2'deep foundation, with 7' long angle iron supports. Each corner beam of angle iron was pounded 1' into the ground, then the 2' foundation was poured, then there was the 3' tall 18x18" brick structure (with the angle iron at all 4 corners, then a steel mailbox was put ontop of the brick/concrete. There was then 10" more of the brick outter layer put on. Concrete was poured inside this layer, sandwiching the box inside, then a concrete top cap was added ontop. The angle iron corner supports went from 1' under the foundation to 3" below the top cap. I hit this thing with a forklift last year, mailbox won.
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
has the standard m80 changed over the years? ie, now it's less explosive?

i recall the next step up from the m80 being the dago-bomb. it was silver and larger, as compared to the red m80.

i think steve albini used DH Girlie (or one of her siblings) for the last big black lp cover:

 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
narlus said:
has the standard m80 changed over the years? ie, now it's less explosive?

i recall the next step up from the m80 being the dago-bomb. it was silver and larger, as compared to the red m80.

i think steve albini used DH Girlie (or one of her siblings) for the last big black lp cover:


HAHAHA! Somehow...SOME WAY...none of us ever lost a digit...
 

Pau11y

Turbo Monkey
I'm w/ Brian on cementing in a 6" dia steel pipe. Then, you can have a welding buddy make an iron cage for your mail box out of 1/2" thick plates and bolt it to the cement pipe. Then cement in the mail box into the iron plate cage. Hell, it should take the plow off the front of the plow truck, and you can paint the post like a candy cane :D

I'd love to hear what the punk-ass kid tells the ER nurse for a reason as to why his wrist is broken. :evil:
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
UPS can't delivery to a PO box though. and who wants to drive to the PO on a regular basis? not me.

i'll see how the reconstruction efforts go this weekend. hopefully the ground isn't too frozen to dig a deep enough hole.