VP Dicke Cheney accidentally shoots man during during hunting trip.
He then accidentally drank his blood and ate his liver.
He then accidentally drank his blood and ate his liver.
Cheney Accidentally Shoots Man
- Thread starter Westy
- Start date
wish this was true ! haha that'd be hilarious
HAHAH ! Sweet ! cheney does have a case of bad temper. that dude must have said some thing that made cheney mad ! 
He was just firing a warning shot. Into his head.....
Whittington: "Dick, you shot me in the head!"
Cheney: "Go **** yourself."
Mental note: Don't ever tell Cheney your blood type. If you're the right kind, he might go heart hunting.
Cheney: "Go **** yourself."
Mental note: Don't ever tell Cheney your blood type. If you're the right kind, he might go heart hunting.
Maybe the guy had some oil in his pocket.
More likely would be he had some Iraqi baby jerky and wouldn't share.jaydee said:
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Soon after the incident the Vice President stood over the victim and muttered.
That gentled ya down some. Ain't nobody a badass with a double dose of rock salt that deep in their tits. Not havin tits as fine or big as yours, I can't even imagine how bad that **** must sting... yet I don't want to, neither.
Soon after shocked witnesses separated the Vice President from the scene, but not before Mr. Cheney lined the victims face with a brown stream of chewing tobacco spit across his face.
I win
That gentled ya down some. Ain't nobody a badass with a double dose of rock salt that deep in their tits. Not havin tits as fine or big as yours, I can't even imagine how bad that **** must sting... yet I don't want to, neither.
Soon after shocked witnesses separated the Vice President from the scene, but not before Mr. Cheney lined the victims face with a brown stream of chewing tobacco spit across his face.
I win
Westy said:Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I was riding my bike about 2 hours after reading this and for some reason I recalled this post and it made me laugh for about 5 minutes although I didn't laugh when I first read it. Humour is a strange beast.Westy said:
Great thread, some good lines. People who don't read the PD miss the best one-liners on all of RM.
From Wonkette.com:
Dick Cheney shot a man in the face this weekend. What did you do?
"A prominent Austin lawyer is expected to be released from a hospital here today after being accidentally shot and slightly injured by Vice President Dick Cheney during a quail hunt on a South Texas ranch."
Oooh, boo hoo, Dick Cheneys mean and scary and irresponsible. Ohhh, he didnt follow standard hunting safety rules, ooohh, it was an avoidable accident. You know what we say? Be a f---ing man, America. This is awesome.
May we just take a minute to say: Best Vice President Ever.
Seriously, people, who can compare? Hannibal Hamlin? Cool name, sure, but he was a total lame-o. Spiro Agnew? Pshaw. Did he ever say go f--- yourself on the floor of the Senate? Did he ever dress like he was shoveling his suburban driveway to a memorial service at Auschwitz? Did he ever shoot a man in cold blood? No. We didnt think so. Agnews a pussy and you know it. Dick Cheney is a badass, and we love him. Hes like Americas abusive father were terrified of him, we hide under our beds when we smell whiskey on his breath, but we crave his attention. We need him to tell us weve been good. We have a sick admiration for him that well be describing to our therapists for years.
Do Vice Presidents have term limits? Can he please be our Vice President-for-life?
We shudder just thinking that we were almost stuck with that pretty-boy Edwards.
Dick Cheney shot a man in the face this weekend. What did you do?
"A prominent Austin lawyer is expected to be released from a hospital here today after being accidentally shot and slightly injured by Vice President Dick Cheney during a quail hunt on a South Texas ranch."
Oooh, boo hoo, Dick Cheneys mean and scary and irresponsible. Ohhh, he didnt follow standard hunting safety rules, ooohh, it was an avoidable accident. You know what we say? Be a f---ing man, America. This is awesome.
May we just take a minute to say: Best Vice President Ever.
Seriously, people, who can compare? Hannibal Hamlin? Cool name, sure, but he was a total lame-o. Spiro Agnew? Pshaw. Did he ever say go f--- yourself on the floor of the Senate? Did he ever dress like he was shoveling his suburban driveway to a memorial service at Auschwitz? Did he ever shoot a man in cold blood? No. We didnt think so. Agnews a pussy and you know it. Dick Cheney is a badass, and we love him. Hes like Americas abusive father were terrified of him, we hide under our beds when we smell whiskey on his breath, but we crave his attention. We need him to tell us weve been good. We have a sick admiration for him that well be describing to our therapists for years.
Do Vice Presidents have term limits? Can he please be our Vice President-for-life?
We shudder just thinking that we were almost stuck with that pretty-boy Edwards.
Well I have to admire him for picking a lawyer to shoot...... perhaps he had just been presented with the bill?
In a related story, Dan Quayle was found nearby cowering in some bushes wearing only a loin cloth.
When questioned, he said
"Dick had asked me if I had heard of the "The Most Dangerous Game". Then everything went black...."
When questioned, he said
"Dick had asked me if I had heard of the "The Most Dangerous Game". Then everything went black...."
it was payback for the lawyer's wife claiming that the yellow-cake story was a hoax. 
when you mistake an entire country for a shadowy terrorist network, the man/bird mixup doesn't seem too farfetched.
like OJ, he's still hunting for "the real terrorist, OBL", just happens to be doing it in Texas.
ummmmm, any others?
when you mistake an entire country for a shadowy terrorist network, the man/bird mixup doesn't seem too farfetched.
like OJ, he's still hunting for "the real terrorist, OBL", just happens to be doing it in Texas.
ummmmm, any others?
That's about the only reason I peruse this forumvalve bouncer said:
I find it hard to respect/fear a guy that I could kill by popping a paper bag and yelling "boo" right behind him.JRogers said:
Wow! I didn't know that Texas had a Lawyer Season!!!
The Onion is going to have a field day with this one. I won't post my thoughts on the subject - I don't want N8 reporting me to the NSA.
FYI: You have already been reported.ghostrider said:
i was amazed to learn that he travels w/ a medical team 24-7.kidwoo said:
That explains all the SUVs around me when I ride to work.N8 said:
I wonder if he pays out of pocket for that (he's fat, that's a lifestyle decision) or if that gets subsidized by us taxpayers?narlus said:
I like to think it went a little like this;
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
It's cute how you pretend there's a line between the two right now.:love:Silver said:
Seriously?sanjuro said:
Yes.
It's manslaughter (if you kill him), or attempted manslaughter (if you don't).
woudlnt it be attemtped involuntary manslaughter?binary visions said:
Big difference between manslaughter an involuntary manslaughter.
Even still, the other guy would have to press charges, right? And most likely since it was non-lethal, wouldnt it just be neglegance?Transcend said:
I am assuming the dude would need to press charges, ya. The state can't do it if he is alive and coherent, I don't think soanyways...BurlyShirley said:
In this case, negligence would probably be the case (clearly that is what it was). But attempted manslaughter isn't lethal (obviously).