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Chili thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by r464, Mar 10, 2008.

  1. r464

    r464 Turbo Monkey

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  2. Potroast88

    Potroast88 YouTube Boy

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  3. kingbee

    kingbee Monkey

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    mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
     
  4. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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  5. Potroast88

    Potroast88 YouTube Boy

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  6. Nick

    Nick My name is Nick

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  7. SkaredShtles

    SkaredShtles I love NEWCASTLE and will ONLY drink NEWCASTLE!!!!

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    Chile >> chili
     
  8. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    Texas style with swine and no beans, hot as hell in Summer.
     
  9. SkaredShtles

    SkaredShtles I love NEWCASTLE and will ONLY drink NEWCASTLE!!!!

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    New Mexican style with ACTUAL chiles in it. :thumb:
     
  10. rideit

    rideit Bob the Builder

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  11. urbaindk

    urbaindk The Real Dr. Science

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    I like chili and thus approve of this thread.
     
  12. Nick

    Nick My name is Nick

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  13. Potroast88

    Potroast88 YouTube Boy

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    Shredded potroast?!?
     
  14. X3pilot

    X3pilot Texans fan - LOL

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    The secret to any good chili is pickled cactus...

    Seriously.
     
  15. sperkins

    sperkins Monkey

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    Chili is only good when it is only like 25 outside. but you gotta have them crackers with it.
     
  16. TreeSaw

    TreeSaw Mama Monkey

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    Mmmm....chili is good. I have some in the freezer too :think:
     
  17. r464

    r464 Turbo Monkey

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    Chilly chili?
     
  18. brungeman

    brungeman I give a shirt

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  19. r464

    r464 Turbo Monkey

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    Don't go booby-trapping my chili with pointy stuff...
     
  20. CBJ

    CBJ Turbo Monkey

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    German of course



     
  21. cannondalejunky

    cannondalejunky ease dropper

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    funny story....i farted right before i scrolled down and saw this picture
     
  22. AngryMetalsmith

    AngryMetalsmith Business is good, thanks for asking

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    My personal favorite, the Habanero.

     
  23. DirtyMike

    DirtyMike Turbo Fluffer

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    Deep Fried and creamcheeze stuffed
     
  24. BIGHITR

    BIGHITR WINNING!

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    32 degrees out. Or 0 celcius depending on where you read this from.
     
  25. FreeRide-Junkie

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    I have some ground bison that I want to make chili with. Anyone recommend some good recipes?
     
  26. MountainDrew

    MountainDrew Monkey

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    no need to be mean
     
  27. Prettym1k3

    Prettym1k3 Turbo Monkey

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    I brought Campbell's microwave Firehouse Chili for lunch today.

    The people riding behind me tonight will be displeased. :D
     
  28. r464

    r464 Turbo Monkey

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    Next batch of chili gets created next week
     
  29. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    If you can read this whole story without laughing,
    then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end.
    This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili
    cook-off in Texas.

    Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you
    pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction
    of the third judge is even better. For those of you
    who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
    They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time
    Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion
    of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

    Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named
    Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
    Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a
    judge at a chili cook-off. The original person
    called in sick at the last moment and I happened to
    be standing there at the judge's table, asking for
    directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call
    came in. I was assured by the other two judges
    (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that
    spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free
    beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became
    Judge 3."

    Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

    CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato.
    Amusing kick.
    Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
    Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is
    this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway.
    Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst
    one. These Texans are crazy.

    CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight
    jalapeno tang.
    Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers
    to be taken seriously.
    Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children.
    I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides
    pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
    give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in
    more beer when they saw the look on my face.

    CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
    Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
    Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium
    spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting
    Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me
    more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the
    back, now my backbone is in the front part of my
    chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all of the beer.

    CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

    Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice
    Disappointing.
    Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good
    side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of
    a chili.
    Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my
    tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to
    burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing
    behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to
    look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili
    an aphrodisiac?

    CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

    Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers
    freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very
    impressive.
    Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use
    more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a
    strong statement.
    Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring
    off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted,
    and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant
    seemed offended when I told her that her chili had
    given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from
    bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the
    pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It
    really ticks me off that the other judges asked me
    to stop screaming. Screw them.

    CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

    Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili.
    Good balance of spices and peppers.
    Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of
    peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
    Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe
    filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself
    when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair.
    No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
    Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my
    butt with a snow cone.

    CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance
    on canned peppers.
    Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally
    threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.
    **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #
    3. He appears to be a bit of distress as he is
    cursing uncontrollably.
    Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth,
    pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've
    lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it
    is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with
    chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My
    pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least
    during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me.
    I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful.
    Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I
    need air, I'll just suck it in through the
    4-inch hole in my stomach.

    CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice
    blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to
    declare its existence.
    Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced
    chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most
    of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out,
    fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of
    himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor
    feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot
    chili?
    Judge # 3 - No Report
     
  30. Upgr8r

    Upgr8r High Priest or maybe Jedi Master

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    Opie,

    Thanks. I am now the center of attention in the office as I busted up laughing out loud :disgust1:and no one knows why. Can't exactly say I was on the monkey :brows:
     
  31. r464

    r464 Turbo Monkey

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    Chili is all gone...