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Colorado Monkeys

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
I've mentioned this a few times around here, but I think our days in California are numbered. I'll spare you the backstory, but there are only a handful of states in the Western US where I can be licensed without jumping through a ton of hoops. Because of this, I've got a shortlist of states that I'm currently giving suggestive looks to. :brows: Colorado is one of those states, and since it seems that 1 in 3 monkeys lives in Colorado, I thought I'd get some opinions directly from the locals.

What part of the state do you live in, and what are your thoughts on it (weather, politics, schools, cost of living, local culture, etc.)? Any areas that should be avoided at all costs? It's Colorado, so I assume opportunities for outdoor recreation are plentiful, but what do I know?

Any thoughts, comments (helpful or otherwise) all appreciated.

None of these front range fancy lads will say it but depending on what you like in life, Grand Junction and surrounds has a lot of what you're after. Biggest downside is that it's hot as fuck in summer but where you live now is hotter so it will seem quaint when it tickles 100deg (which is often). There's an actual winter and other seasons however.

Biking of all varieties, easy access to elevation to beat the heat, and right on the edge of all the desert awesome that is the colorado plateau. Big enough town to have an emergency room.

Ain't nobody up in your grill about which organic tacos are the most authentic either (edit: see below). Although if you catch a tesla in your chevy grill, you'll fit right in immediately.

Biggest benefit is that there's a magical stretch of I70 called the glenwood canyon that is the worst idea in civil engineering history. But it often caves in and blocks off denver, making it the Grand Junction community's biggest assert.
 
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stoney

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde
Jul 26, 2006
22,016
7,914
Colorado
Every place has its issues, imo. And Front Range Colorado isn't a bad overall package, really. I like it well enough here to stay.
Wifey and I had this conversation a while back, to make sure we're still on the same page. If we had unlimited funds, we'd probably move back to Bay Area, but that's because it's home where our friends and her family is. Other than that, where would be move to right now? Golden, Conifer/Pine/Evergreen, Boulder, or Ken Caryl - we'd stay in CO. We would move out of DougCo, but still in CO.

Realistically, everything you can want to do is here except the beach. Mexican food sucks, just an FYI. But in whole, you get a real city, shit to do 20min away, skiing 1.5hrs away, and it's not super dense by any means (vs. Bay Area/LA-OC metro).
 

stoney

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde
Jul 26, 2006
22,016
7,914
Colorado
None of these front range fancy lads will say it but depending on what you like in life, Grand Junction and surrounds has a lot of what you're after. Biggest downside is that it's hot as fuck in summer but where you live now is hotter so it will seem quaint when it tickles 100deg (which is often). There's an actual winter and other seasons however.

Biking of all varieties, easy access to elevation to beat the heat, and right on the edge of all the desert awesome that is the colorado plateau. Big enough town to have an emergency room.

Ain't nobody up in your grill about which organic tacos are the most authentic either (edit: see below). Although if you catch a tesla in your chevy grill, you'll fit right in immediately.

Biggest benefit is that there's a magical stretch of I70 called the glenwood canyon that is the worst idea in civil engineering history. But it often caves in and blocks off denver, making it the Grand Junction community's biggest assert.
You missed Western Slope - that's where Junction is. See CV-Utah meth ladled fuckfest.
 

boostindoubles

Nacho Libre
Mar 16, 2004
8,519
7,118
Yakistan
I'd consider the north end of Fort Collins but beyond that the whole Front Range is basically off limits for me. Just being in that hell hole for a day trip presses all my fuck the urban expanse buttons. Maybe coming from Cali your already desensitized...

If I had to pick one place in CO, with all career opportunities equal, it'd be a toss up between Salida and Cortez.

What are the other states your looking at?
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,235
10,155
$70k for that much? Means is probably pretty much unbuildable.
probably a slope....like nothing in california was ever built on a slope....let alone a fault line...
Screenshot_20230116_173915_Chrome.jpg
 
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stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,235
10,155
Pull up the pics on zillow. That's a steep slope.
have you ever driven above boulder...

i am sure you have seen houses on steeper slopes in california...

you are acting like a house has never been built on a steep slope....

build a actual green house and not fake it

 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,235
10,155
No I didn't, I specifically said grand junction when I meant grand junction. :D

Boy said he wants big city amenities!

I can promise you I know where it is.
it would fuck with said progressive street cred...
 

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
fear of fire doesn't keep you from living where you do...:D
Hell yeah it does. Don't confuse lack of financial mobility with choice (we didn't all grow up in victorian castles like you ;) ). It's likely to finally be the primary reason we move if we can ever afford to do it. I would however prefer to die in a fire than live in sacramento.


I don't live on the top of a hill with thousands of board feet of fuel right beneath me either. We have warning when things approach. I also have a lake to jump into.
 
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stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,235
10,155
Hell yeah it does. Don't confuse lack of financial mobility with choice (we didn't all grow up in victorian castles like you ;) ). It's likely to finally be the primary reason we move if we can ever afford to do it. I would however prefer to die in a fire than live in sacramento.


I don't live on the top of a hill with thousands of board feet of fuel beneath me. I also have a lake to jump into.
how far are you from lee vinning...ive stayed there three or four times....although there is place on the strip advertising the best bbq in california...i had it once and found it hard to believe...
 

6thElement

Schrodinger's Immigrant
Jul 29, 2008
17,416
14,905
Fear of fire is the main reason wife and I discuss leaving where we currently live.

We're up into the foothills facing the mountains, not the eastern side looking at @Toshi in Kansas

edit: long term water supply is the second concern, our water supply utility only serves ~500 homes.
 

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
how far are you from lee vinning...ive stayed there three or four times....although there is place on the strip advertising the best bbq in california...i had it once and found it hard to believe...
2.5-3hrs. I know it well (the town). I'm not moving to lee vining. I hate coastal californians and the other entrance/exit to yosemite national park wouldn't really fix that. Plus that whole mountain range is wilderness. To be looked at and fund raised off of, not actually do anything in. Whole town is retired sierra club fucks.
 
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stoney

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde
Jul 26, 2006
22,016
7,914
Colorado
Ideal fire location, difficult access and egress, no way in hell you're getting water out of a well that high, and easily within reach of denver developers.

What's not to like?

View attachment 187896
It's in the middle of fucking nowhere too. Pull it up in Maps. Building there would be next level expensive.
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,235
10,155
2.5-3hrs. I know it well (the town). I'm not moving to lee vining. I hate coastal california and the other entrance/exit to yosemite national park wouldn't really fix that. Plus that whole mountain range is wilderness. To be looked at and fund raised off of, not actually do anything in. Whole town is retired sierra club fucks.
when i went by the place i lived at in breckenridge last fall....this must have been the seasons fresh delivery of snowmobiles to put together...

Screenshot_20230116_183538_Photos.jpg
 

stoney

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde
Jul 26, 2006
22,016
7,914
Colorado
Fear of fire is the main reason wife and I discuss leaving where we currently live.

We're up into the foothills facing the mountains, not the eastern side looking at @Toshi in Kansas

edit: long term water supply is the second concern, our water supply utility only serves ~500 homes.
Why you no cut trees back?
 

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
when i went by the place i lived at in breckenridge last fall....this must have been the seasons fresh delivery of snowmobiles to put together...

View attachment 187900
or side by sides, or jet skis, or kwads.....

Look a little wide for sleds, although 'ski'doo should be.



You should call the mono basin preservation society (Lee Vining) and ask if there's any snowmobiling in the area. Please record the call for me :D


Pull it up in Maps.
where do you think I got the screenshot?

Nowhere? You act like it's not right next to Aimpro Tactical, and Rachel's creations.....
shiloh_hood.JPG


What solutions do you think vologon has? Sounds like they kill voltron for you. Or at least prevent him from assembling into his one true self.
 
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stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,235
10,155
It's in the middle of fucking nowhere too. Pull it up in Maps. Building there would be next level expensive.
you live in highlands ranch and want to move back to the bay area...

according to zillow...houses in the ranch go for between 340,000 at the low end and around 2.2 million...

what is expensive to you pillower of money for the rich...
 

stoney

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde
Jul 26, 2006
22,016
7,914
Colorado
you live in highlands ranch and want to move back to the bay area...

according to zillow...houses in the ranch go for between 340,000 at the low end and around 2.2 million...

what is expensive to you pillower of money for the rich...
1. The avg acct balance in my client coverage is <$75k in an employer retirement plan. I work with a couple higher wealth people, but all are public employees and the vast majority make under $100k with a wealth of <$100k at retirement. But sure, let's call me the money pillower of the rich.

2. Avg house price here is not $2.2mm. Maybe in Backcountry, which is a private neighborhood in which every house has a view and it's less than 10yrs old. Median for single family looks closer to $683k.

3. Houses in Conifer/Pine/Evergreen that will fit a family of 5 and not require massive amounts to work start around $1mm. Median price $815k. Ken Caryl isn't as bad ($572k median) but if you want to be in the open space, it will be substantially more. Golden is the same story, but super expensive ($875k median).

4. If I had unlimited money, I would move back to where my friends and family are, which is the Bay Area. Not a hard concept. Some of us would do that, if we had that ability.

What he's looking for - something away from everyone, in the mtns, etc, but close to a metro - is what people move here for, so it drives the prices up. It's the reason why a lot of long-term/native residents are selling and moving east if they want to stay here. They can sell, clear a few hundred K, then buy a new house on the eastern plains/by DIA that will cost them what they cleared.
My best friend moved to Durango 15 years ago and loves it there. Fishing, mt biking Kayaking, Ice Climbing, skiing, 4 wheeling. He has a good job
Stupid expensive. COVID money flooded it.
 

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
moved to Durango 15 years ago
try it nao



1. The avg acct balance in my client coverage is <$75k in an employer retirement plan. I work with a couple higher wealth people, but all are public employees and the vast majority make under $100k with a wealth of <$100k at retirement. But sure, let's call me the money pillower of the rich.

2. Avg house price here is not $2.2mm. Maybe in Backcountry, which is a private neighborhood in which every house has a view and it's less than 10yrs old. Median for single family looks closer to $683k.

3. Houses in Conifer/Pine/Evergreen that will fit a family of 5 and not require massive amounts to work start around $1mm. Median price $815k. Ken Caryl isn't as bad ($572k median) but if you want to be in the open space, it will be substantially more. Golden is the same story, but super expensive ($875k median).

4. If I had unlimited money, I would move back to where my friends and family are, which is the Bay Area. Not a hard concept. Some of us would do that, if we had that ability.

What he's looking for - something away from everyone, in the mtns, etc, but close to a metro - is what people move here for, so it drives the prices up. It's the reason why a lot of long-term/native residents are selling and moving east if they want to stay here. They can sell, clear a few hundred K, then buy a new house on the eastern plains/by DIA that will cost them what they cleared.

Stupid expensive. COVID money flooded it.
what's a retirement?
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
40,031
8,944
it’s where you cart horses around for your wife full time instead of nominally working, no?
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,235
10,155
2. Avg house price here is not $2.2mm.
340,000 on the low end to 2.2 million was what i wrote.

and i apologise for not throwingva smilie emoji in there....

as far as a family of 5....

i think the smallest was pennsylvania at probably 1000 sq ft and the largest being virginia at maybe 3,000 sq feet...
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,235
10,155
fire mitigation

on a hot windy day in the summer in colorado highland ranch could be scorched earth with a cigarette butt in open space...