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Conflicted...

golgiaparatus

Out of my element
Aug 30, 2002
7,340
41
Deep in the Jungles of Oklahoma
Heres my situation...

My Fiancee's family is in OKC (2 hours away) at her brothers graduation. There is a big function during the day (Sat) because he is valedictorian and an 8 keg party tomorow night. Megan told her brother weeks ago that she'd go. Well, last week she asked me if I wanted to come and I said sure what the hell. Now I am feeling like maybe I dont want to go because she had to ride up with her parents and basically what I am going to have to do is wake up early on Saturday drive 2 hours by myself (I hate driving long distances) to a place that I have never been, hang out all day with a bunch of people I dont know and then get wasted at a party with people I dont know. None of which sounds fun to me.

Now for the real conflict... my old Afro Cuban teacher is moving to California in a Month and has a bunch of his old friends in town and wants me to attend this big drumming function Saturday at 1:00. It sounds like a friggin blast. If I weigh that against driving 2 hours to be in an akward situation all day, followed by a drunk akward situation that night the drum fiesta wins.

Anyway, what should I do... should I call her, be up front "baby I really just dont want to drive that far to hang with your family all day and then at a party where I dont know anyone", should I suck it up and drive over there tomorrow morning, totally wasting my weekend? Or should I fake an illness (just kidding)?
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,841
19
So Cal
Depends on your fiancee... Best case scenario is that you call and are honest with her and she lies to her family for you, telling them that you are sick, have the runs, or whatever. Then you go drumming.

Have you gotten out of family functions alot lately? If so you may owe her this one. If you tend to go with her then she should cut you a little slack and let you play.

My 2 pence.
 

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
1. You must not like driving. I have driven from New Orleans to New York by myself in one day (1200 miles - 23 hrs), and I am sure there are people here who can top that.

2. Have you met any of your fiance's family before? They could be great people and loads of fun. Hell, no family function I've attended had even one keg.

3. You promised your fiance you'd go, which means she told her parents, which means the entire family is expecting you. On the other hand, your teacher (who is gone in a month) and his friends will probably think you are the coolest if you drum with them. Hmmm, angry fiance and future-in-laws vs. happy acquaintances.
 

golgiaparatus

Out of my element
Aug 30, 2002
7,340
41
Deep in the Jungles of Oklahoma
Ciaran said:
Depends on your fiancee... Best case scenario is that you call and are honest with her and she lies to her family for you, telling them that you are sick, have the runs, or whatever. Then you go drumming.

Have you gotten out of family functions alot lately? If so you may owe her this one. If you tend to go with her then she should cut you a little slack and let you play.

My 2 pence.
Her family wouldn't care... its her that I'm worried about.
You know its the old... "you told me you would come" scenario.
 

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
67,326
13,894
In a van.... down by the river
sanjuro said:
1. You must not like driving. I have driven from New Orleans to New York by myself in one day (1200 miles - 23 hrs), and I am sure there are people here who can top that.
I once drove to San Fran from Denver in a day. ~1300 miles. 19 hours.

It's *FAST* driving between Salt Lake and Reno. :eek:

Don't mention it to the cops. ;)

-S.S.-
 

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
67,326
13,894
In a van.... down by the river
golgiaparatus said:
Her family wouldn't care... its her that I'm worried about.
You know its the old... "you told me you would come" scenario.
If she's going to care about this, then go to OKC.

Unless you don't mind being in the $hithouse for god only knows how long.

-S.S.-
 

OGRipper

back alley ripper
Feb 3, 2004
10,720
1,221
NORCAL is the hizzle
I don't that any of us can give very good advice here 'cuz it totally depends on your relationship and her relationship with her family. To me, honesty and open communication is the key. If you said you'd go in kind of an off-hand way you should be able to tell her something you'd rather do has come up and ask her if it's that big of a deal. She might not be too happy, but (hopefully) she wouldn't want you to go if you'd rather be somewhere else. You're pretty much guaranteed to have a crappy time if you show up resenting the fact that you're missing something else, and that's not fair to either of you. Just be honest with her, if it means a lot to her she'll tell you.

But dude, two hours drive is nothing, hell I drive two hours each way for some rides. And 8 kegs with a bunch of new people to party with sounds like it could be fun. If you hated the idea so much why'd you agree in the first place?
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
Go to the drum thing.

If she is the one you will spend your life with, then she will understand the importance of the drums.

:thumb:


BTW - i got you all beat for mileage on the road. 12 years of touring w/ my band.

Started on tour from Oakland to Memphis straight, circled the country twice back to New Orleans, then back to Oakland.

On another tour, we did over 45,000 miles in under 9 weeks. (min. 800 miles/day)
 

Potroast88

YouTube Boy
Jan 18, 2004
2,834
4
Bomb City
H8R said:
Go to the drum thing.

If she is the one you will spend your life with, then she will understand the importance of the drums.

:thumb:


BTW - i got you all beat for mileage on the road. 12 years of touring w/ my band.

Started on tour from Oakland to Memphis straight, circled the country twice back to New Orleans, then back to Oakland.

On another tour, we did over 45,000 miles in under 9 weeks. (min. 800 miles/day)
And that was probably stuffed into a van with a bunch of guys that thought it would be fun to load up on burritos just before they left.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
Potroast88 said:
And that was probably stuffed into a van with a bunch of guys that thought it would be fun to load up on burritos just before they left.
Ugh.

Most of us would be full of truck stop food and one of us is vegan.

Horrendous.
 

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
The worse part of my drive from New Orleans was I got 4 hours of sleep a night for two weeks packing up my apartment and throwing things out, then I drove off to wedding in NY, which I missed by 10 minutes.
 

yojimborace

Monkey
Oct 26, 2004
297
0
SC
You should convince your teacher and his friends that they should play drums with you at that graduation party... and mention the free beer :thumb:
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,176
377
Bay Area, California
Go with your chick, plus tell your old Afro Cuban teacher he's not welcome here in CA cause we have WAY TOO MANY durm beating hippies. Also sitting around in a circle beating each others drums kinda sounds..............you know