Quantcast

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,412
0
SF


Holy cow, this Ohio woman is an udder disgrace!

Michele Allen, 32, will spend the next month in jail after admitting to a wild drunken weekend dressed in this silly cow outfit, said Middletown, Ohio, authorities.

"Michele is pretty well known to us. She's 'struggled,' to say the least," Middletown Municipal Court Judge Mark Wall told The Post.

Wall sentenced Allen to 30 days in jail for her oddball escapade.

She had been hired to wear the outfit to advertise for a local "haunted trail" theme park.

While at work Saturday evening, Allen hit the sauce hard and then stumbled into the streets - blocking traffic and chasing kids, said Police Major Mark Hoffman.

Allen also urinated in a nearby yard during the drunken grazing, cops said.

"It's curious. When I think of Halloween or a haunted trail, I don't think of cows as being scary - although this one was," Hoffman said.

As cops hauled her away, the haunted trail's manager snatched the cow mask away from Allen, but officers let her keep the rest of the outfit.

"It appeared that's all she had on," Hoffman said.

Allen dried out in jail over the weekend - all the while wearing the cow costume.

Jail policy allows for inmates to wear prison garb in the clink, but only after a defendant's first court appearance.

Despite having two nights to sober up, Allen was in a foul mood Monday, yelling at jailers.

"She was challenging people to 'suck her udders,' " Hoffman said. "I'm not joking."

Once Allen arrived in court, she grazed peacefully, Judge Wall said.

She waived her right to a lawyer and pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct.

Allen has been in trouble before. She has an outstanding "failure to appear on a solicitation" rap and still owes $2,733 on that offense.

"I gave her the maximum [30 days] because I think she's more a danger to herself than the community," Wall said.

Two publicly listed phone numbers for Allen were disconnected, and no family member could be reached for comment.

The judge said facing a cow-dressed defendant was new for him.

"We get people dressed in various attire when they're in court," he said. "But this was a first, someone dressed as a cow."
 

MikeD

Leader and Demogogue of the Ridemonkey Satinists
Oct 26, 2001
10,213
220
chez moi
Cops had to lose the taser and dig out the cattle prod, eh?
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,844
11
So Cal
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I can't even think of anything to say that is funnier than the truth!

Not even VB, Stinky, or Partsy would end up like that. (Well, maybe Stinkyboy)

:cheers:

Edit... NoTyler, it's UDDERLY ridiculous.
 

tylerpier137

Monkey
Mar 29, 2007
366
0
ventura
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I can't even think of anything to say that is funnier than the truth!

Not even VB, Stinky, or Partsy would end up like that. (Well, maybe Stinkyboy)

:cheers:

Edit... NoTyler, it's UDDERLY ridiculous.
O Im sorry let me apologize for using correct spelling :crazy:

Even though "Udderly" is funnier :biggrin:
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,792
36
Japan
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I can't even think of anything to say that is funnier than the truth!

Not even VB, Stinky, or Partsy would end up like that. (Well, maybe Stinkyboy).
I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been arrested for being drunk while dressed up as a farm animal.

"She was challenging people to 'suck her udders,' " Hoffman said. "I'm not joking."
My new hero.