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CoWorker MindF@%*s?

stinkyboy

Plastic Santa
Jan 6, 2005
15,192
0
¡Phoenix!
There' a guy at work I don't like, so I have been pointing his browser to catfancy.com and other crap whenever he leaves his desk.

I wanna step it up.

Suggestions that don't involve criminal charges or me being fired?
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
Win XP?

Hit "Print Screen"
Open Paint or whatever
Paste
Save file somewhere deep in the C: drive
Go to desktop right click > Properties
Change desktop background to the Print Screen pic you just saved
Right click on desktop again > Arrange Icons By > deselect "Show Desktop Icons"
 

Secret Squirrel

There is no Justice!
Dec 21, 2004
8,153
0
Up sh*t creek, without a paddle
There' a guy at work I don't like, so I have been pointing his browser to catfancy.com and other crap whenever he leaves his desk.

I wanna step it up.

Suggestions that don't involve criminal charges or me being fired?

By "pointing his browser" I assume you're changing the homepage?

Flipping his screen 90 or 180 degrees

Rearranging the keyboard keys...daily...(if he leaves before you or comes in after....makes it easier)

Change his color scheme/screensaver to pastels...

Resolution changes...

Mess with the Icon images...make a bunch of whacky folders with wierd icons....
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
Do a Google search fro prank apps. There is one that randomly switches left and right mouse buttons.
 

jerseydirt

Turbo Monkey
May 6, 2007
1,936
0
dirty jerz
Get his chair really really wet. This works especially well if the chair is leather so he cant tell that it is wet. This way when he sits down he gets a really wet ass! bwahahahah!
 

Leppah

Turbo Monkey
Mar 12, 2008
2,300
3
Utar
What i do if one of the girls that works with me leaves and doesn't lock her computer is, i jump on and shoot an email out to someone that we work with. Something like "Hey precious. I really like your hair today. It looks fantastic. We should go to lunch together and eat spaghetti like in lady and the tramp." Sometimes i send them to the same sex. Anything like that where you can't really get in trouble for sexual harrassment. Just gotta make sure it goes to someone that has a good sense of humor.
 

ultraNoob

Yoshinoya Destroyer
Jan 20, 2007
4,515
1
Hills of Paradise
shoe polish on the scroll wheel of his mouse

if the arms on his chair are black... shoe polish

shoe polish on headrest of the chair

put black tape over the IR portion of his mouse

swap towers with another co worker you don't like... good luck finding those files buddy.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
A former coworker got on another guys comp and posted ads on Craig's List under MFM in Casual Encounters.

With the dude's company email as the reply email. While he was on vacation.
 

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
1,559
0
Duh, Austin
I had a guy that worked for me that installed a program so that he could remotely control a co-worker's computer, doing stupid things like opening up a CD-ROM remotely...

I fired him.

When you mess with people's PC's you jack up internal IT support and screw with productivity. We had to reformat the guys computer and as a salesguy he missed a day of work.

Be careful about what you do.
 

boogenman

Turbo Monkey
Nov 3, 2004
3,451
177
BUFFALO
Do what I did, steal his car keys at the end of the night/day.

It was 5 minutes before we were heading home for the night(9pm) and the guy was looking all over for his keys. He had to call his wife to pick him up. At first I just threw them in some bushes and after a few days I took them out of the bushes and put them in my car. Now I will randomly set off his panic alarm during the day when he is with customers or on the phone. He has taken his car to get looked at multiple times because of the "malfunctioning" alarm. They can't figure out what is wrong :imstupid:
 

stinkyboy

Plastic Santa
Jan 6, 2005
15,192
0
¡Phoenix!
Do what I did, steal his car keys at the end of the night/day.

It was 5 minutes before we were heading home for the night(9pm) and the guy was looking all over for his keys. He had to call his wife to pick him up. At first I just threw them in some bushes and after a few days I took them out of the bushes and put them in my car. Now I will randomly set off his panic alarm during the day when he is with customers or on the phone. He has taken his car to get looked at multiple times because of the "malfunctioning" alarm. They can't figure out what is wrong :imstupid:

You're an idiot.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
15,628
3,022
I have no idea where I am
Werd.

It won't be malicious and won't interfere with work. I just want to fuq with his head. He doesn't see me as a prankster as I always am pissed off just talking to him. Others will take the blame... :biggrin:
Try being extra nice to the guy. Smile and give him a big'ole fake laugh when he makes stupid jokes. Go out of your way to be nice to him, nicer than you treat anyone else in the office. Do this for several days or weeks. At first he will be a little thrown off by it and might get frustrated, especially if he is used to being confrontational with you. Then once he is accustomed to the " new you ", start insulting him subtly, but say it with a smile. Most people in that situation will walk away from that exchange smiling and feeling good about himself. Then a few moments later he will realize he's been insulted. You can get away with a lot if you say it with a smile.

You must channel the way of the Smart Ass.



If that is a little too complicated, then stare at his ear with a puzzled look on your face every time you talk to him. This will eventually make him self-conscious.
 

1453

Monkey
unless he had his way with your dog, that's pretty messed up.

:disgust1:

Do what I did, steal his car keys at the end of the night/day.

It was 5 minutes before we were heading home for the night(9pm) and the guy was looking all over for his keys. He had to call his wife to pick him up. At first I just threw them in some bushes and after a few days I took them out of the bushes and put them in my car. Now I will randomly set off his panic alarm during the day when he is with customers or on the phone. He has taken his car to get looked at multiple times because of the "malfunctioning" alarm. They can't figure out what is wrong :imstupid:
 

jebfour

Turbo Monkey
Jun 19, 2003
1,179
29
NC
He doesn't see me as a prankster
I only "know" you from RM but how the hell is this possible? Seems like a beer bong and a fire extinguisher would be considered office supplies. :monkeydance:


On a semi related note, I work with a compulsive lying "co-worker" who likes to do his own work saving it to a flash drive (he owns his own small business) on company time. It became quite irritating, and all the USB ports are on the back of the computer tower....so I duct taped them up. Now he has to make a "scene" to get them without anyone noticing....it was pretty funny the first couple times he was trying to figure out what was going on.
 

pinkshirtphotos

site moron
Jul 5, 2006
4,706
141
Vernon, NJ
If you stick a paper clip in the usb port and jiggle it around it will cause the computer to think new hardware was installed. The mouse and keyboard will no longer work until you unplug them and replug them. I love sitting in shop and turning around to the guy who sits behind me and making his mouse and keyboard not work.
 

jebfour

Turbo Monkey
Jun 19, 2003
1,179
29
NC
If you stick a paper clip in the usb port and jiggle it around it will cause the computer to think new hardware was installed. The mouse and keyboard will no longer work until you unplug them and replug them. I love sitting in shop and turning around to the guy who sits behind me and making his mouse and keyboard not work.
You NEVER NEVER piss off the IT guy (who would surely be called after doing this).
 

skinny mike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 24, 2005
6,416
0
Do what I did, steal his car keys at the end of the night/day.

It was 5 minutes before we were heading home for the night(9pm) and the guy was looking all over for his keys. He had to call his wife to pick him up. At first I just threw them in some bushes and after a few days I took them out of the bushes and put them in my car. Now I will randomly set off his panic alarm during the day when he is with customers or on the phone. He has taken his car to get looked at multiple times because of the "malfunctioning" alarm. They can't figure out what is wrong :imstupid:
that's not very funny, you're just a douche.
 

Damo

Short One Marshmallow
Sep 7, 2006
4,604
21
French Alps
In a recent episode of 'Office', they put one of the guy's stuff into the vending machine. He had to pay to get his stuff back.

Or someone else bought them.
 

moff_quigley

Why don't you have a seat over there?
Jan 27, 2005
4,403
2
Poseurville
You don't like him. In all likelihood he knows this. He probably doesn't like you either. Therefore, the best way to mess with him is to be super nice to him. Bake him cookies, send him a 5 pack of CD-RWs, invite him out for a man date, smile and nod approvingly when he talks to you. His mind will be blown.
 

stinkyboy

Plastic Santa
Jan 6, 2005
15,192
0
¡Phoenix!
Stink, don't get sucked into his passive aggressive bs.
You might be right.

But he's a nosy little worm who complains that it's cold if a window is open (We live in a fukkin desert!) and even whined to the COO when a chick in the office told him to fuq off after his non stop random and unfunny comments. ("She cursed at me!") :disgust1:
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,796
42
Japan
You might be right.

But he's a nosy little worm who complains that it's cold if a window is open (We live in a fukkin desert!) and even whined to the COO when a chick in the office told him to fuq off after his non stop random and unfunny comments. ("She cursed at me!") :disgust1:
Did that chick get in the sh*t? If not, try that? Anyway Stink I can see how these sack garglers would give u the gip. It's an all day everyday thing here though being a round eye I can just refuse to play. The locals, unfortunately, have to play.