[Pesqueeb]

Long story short: Wife's Grandma passed about a year back, in-laws paid for a 7 day cruise of the Inside Passage with "the kids". I love my in-laws, but dude, its 7 days stuck on a boat, I don't want to be stuck on a boat for 7 days with my wife, never mind the in-laws. How do I smuggle a bottle of Jameson and Angostura bitters aboard so I can make old fashioneds all day? I can only imagine what they are going to be charging for those on board. Is a bag search done? How thorough is security?

 

[buildyourown]

Some boats allow you to BYO, and just have a limit on number of bottle.

 

[skyst3alth]

My dad filled a case of water bottles with Vodka on our last cruise. My brother and I bought a few bottles of liquor onshore and just walked right past the check-in coming back onboard. Piece of cake.

 

[5150dhbiker]

You can buy it somewhere at one of the stops and bring it on. Yeah they do check the bags as you board.
What cruise line though? They all have different policies. I've been lucky enough to cruise on Carnival, Crystal, Celebrity, Royal Caribbean, Norwegan, Princess and Holland America. Royal Caribbean seems to be the best for that policy though.

Also it's usually not expensive in the bottle on the ship. If you buy drinks at the bar though expect a HUGE tab at the end haha. It's really easy to bring it up when all you do is swype your room key card.

FYI....soda's are also very expensive so if you like mixing drinks with soda get a drink card. Usually they are about $70 for the week...not bad when a can of soda costs $3.

 

[gonefirefightin]

its pretty easy to get "lost" on a ship.....you will succeed

 

[eaterofdog]

Vodka in a Listerine bottle. Add green food coloring.

 

[binary visions]

Vodka in a Listerine bottle. Add green food coloring.

Genius.

 

[SkaredShtles]

It's not "all you can drink cruise"? Inlaw fail.

 

[Pesqueeb]

It's not "all you can drink cruise"? Inlaw fail.

I know. They have known me long enough to know better at this point.

I don't remember what cruise line it is off the top of my head, but we did look sometime back and they had a "corking fee" if you wanted to bring your own wine that made me . This is why I assume that drinks are going to be $$$$$.

I like the Listerine idea. I suppose that whiskey is probably close enough in color to the old school Listerine to pass anything that's not a up close inspection. Think I can find a 1.75l bottle of Original Listerine?

 

[dante]

I know. They have known me long enough to know better at this point.

I don't remember what cruise line it is off the top of my head, but we did look sometime back and they had a "corking fee" if you wanted to bring your own wine that made me . This is why I assume that drinks are going to be $$$$$.

I like the Listerine idea. I suppose that whiskey is probably close enough in color to the old school Listerine to pass anything that's not a up close inspection. Think I can find a 1.75l bottle of Original Listerine?

You're on board for a week, right? What are you going to do for booze the other 6 days?

 

[SkaredShtles]

You're on board for a week, right? What are you going to do for booze the other 6 days?

With inlaws involved I'd say 6-1/2 days.

 

[stevew]

judging by the size of the people who generally go on cruises.....squeeb will be doing plenty of meat gazing.

 

[splat]

Just got off this beast about 2 hours ago. as it is I am sitting in Ft lauderdale airport waiting to fly home.

can easily get lost on this ship! Biggest cruise ship in the world, and they don't let you forget it !

 

[Pesqueeb]

Apparently we will be aboard the "Golden Princess".

I've been searching Princess's web site for a formal alcohol policy but can't seem to find one.

 

[MikeD]

Apparently we will be aboard the "Golden Princess".

You should keep asking them where the Golden Showers are. Use a German accent. Insist you booked this cruise specifically for the Golden Showers experience.

 

[Pesqueeb]

You should keep asking them where the Golden Showers are. Use a German accent. Insist you booked this cruise specifically for the Golden Showers experience.

What you do on your own time is your own business.

Question: What is the alcohol policy onboard Princess Cruises?
Answer: We kindly request that you do not bring alcoholic beverages (other than wine and/or champagne) onboard for consumption. Alcoholic beverages that are purchased duty free from the ship's gift shop or at ports of call will be collected for safekeeping and delivered to your stateroom on the last day of the voyage. A member of our Security Staff will be at the gangway to assist with the storage of your alcoholic beverage purchases.

Sneak aboard it is!

 

[CBJ]

So they really do not like you to have fun. I would simple not go.

 

[I Are Baboon]

So they really do not like you to have fun.

They just want you to spend the money on board in the ship's bars.

You can get plenty drunk though in the ports for a fraction of the on-board cost. And though I've never tried it myself, it seems smuggling booze on board wouldn't be too difficult. If the ship is similar to the last cruise I went on (see splat's ship above), cash is not used on-board and any bar purchases show up on your room tab.

If running a bar tab won't get you in trouble with the missus, I recommend you get friendly with a bartender and tip him well on your first few drinks. Keep going back to him during the length of the cruise. He'll take care of you with extra booze in your drinks and an occasional freebie. 'Least that's what worked for me. Huey (bartender on my last cruise) was very generous with the tequila in my margaritas.

Wife and I have been on two cruises with about a dozen friends each time and had a blast. The cruise is what you make of it, and I am easily entertained.

 

[aixelsyd]

I recommend you get friendly with a bartender and tip him well on your first few drinks. Keep going back to him during the length of the cruise. He'll take care of you with extra booze in your drinks and an occasional freebie. 'Least that's what worked for me. Huey (bartender on my last cruise) was very generous with the tequila in my margaritas.

This With so many different bars and lounges on board find one you like and make friends. Not only were the drinks strong but we got free souvenir glasses and on one occasion (on our last night) he bought us a round.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Been doing some more reading on teh interwebz and found only conflicting info on what’s permissible or what just typically gets overlooked. I think I'm just gonna go the IAB route, wife knows my drinking habits so it shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

On a related note, myself, wife, and sister in law are trying to figure out how to do some sort of on board mini-triathlon. Ship has a lap pool, fitness room, and the promenade deck circles the entire ship. So, sprint distance tri: .25 miles in the lap pool, 12.4 miles on a spin/exercise bike in the "fitness room", 5k on the promenade deck. Plausible?

 

[eric strt6]

1/4 mile swim? hell that only takes about 5 minutes

 

[Westy]

Went on a Carnival cruise about ten years ago. I brought about 5 bottles of bourbon in Nalgene bottles aboard in my checked luggage. Carried easily concealed flasks around, would ask for half glasses of coke or a glass of ice. It was obvious to the bartenders what I was doing but I tipped generously for those glasses of ice so they were happy to serve me.

 

[Pesqueeb]

1/4 mile swim? hell that only takes about 5 minutes

That's a sprint tri swim distance. With my shoulder I'll be happy to be done in 10.

 

[eric strt6]

I seriously doubt that the cruise lines do a luggage search when boarding, oh Splat care to enlighten? If not before you get to the ship buy a 1-2.5 gallon plastic gas can, fill it with booze, put it in the suitcase[ silent and unbreakable], board and stay hammered for a week.

 

[CBJ]

I love the cruise line commercials where they only show what you do when you are off the boat.

 

[splat]

I seriously doubt that the cruise lines do a luggage search when boarding, oh Splat care to enlighten? If not before you get to the ship buy a 1-2.5 gallon plastic gas can, fill it with booze, put it in the suitcase[ silent and unbreakable], board and stay hammered for a week.

I went the same route as IAB , found a Bar Tender we liked tipped her ( an english Lass with Nice knockers! ) well on 2nd night, and after that she took care of us. the only problem was with 24 Bars on that ship, she wasn't always at a bar we wanted to go to.

Also it was funny seeing all the people at the Cheap bar just off the ship (every port had one ) and every one pounding cheap drinks just before the ship left.

 

[Pesqueeb]

I think my problem may be solved, the cruise line allows you to bring one bottle of wine/champagne a person. Some years ago I introduced my mother-in-law to home wine making, and while I was never as serious about it as my home brew, she really ran with it. Today she tells me she's just "going to fill a wine bottle with vodka a seal it up". Why didn't I think of that? One wine bottle of Jameson for me and one wine bottle of tequila for the wife.

I went the same route as IAB , found a Bar Tender we liked tipped her ( an english Lass with Nice knockers! ) well on 2nd night, and after that she took care of us. the only problem was with 24 Bars on that ship, she wasn't always at a bar we wanted to go to.

I'm still intrigued by this though too. It may be as close as I ever get to fulfilling my life long dream of being constantly escorted on a tropical beach by a black haired, large breasted, brown skinned, woman named Rosalita whose only job is to make sure my margarita glass never empties.

 

[SkaredShtles]

<snip>
I'm still intrigued by this though too. It may be as close as I ever get to fulfilling my life long dream of being constantly escorted on a tropical beach by a black haired, large breasted, brown skinned, woman named Rosalita whose only job is to make sure my margarita class never empties.

Has Rosalita been busy tonight?

 

[Pesqueeb]

Has Rosalita been busy tonight?

No. The margarita wench in my current possession is apparently union, tis not but a typo

 

[SkaredShtles]

No. The margarita wench in my current possession is apparently union, tis not but a typo

Look on the bright side - at least she's not going back to work... she can work on her margarita-presentation skills.

 

[Westy]

I think my problem may be solved, the cruise line allows you to bring one bottle of wine/champagne a person. Some years ago I introduced my mother-in-law to home wine making, and while I was never as serious about it as my home brew, she really ran with it. Today she tells me she's just "going to fill a wine bottle with vodka a seal it up". Why didn't I think of that? One wine bottle of Jameson for me and one wine bottle of tequila for the wife.



I'm still intrigued by this though too. It may be as close as I ever get to fulfilling my life long dream of being constantly escorted on a tropical beach by a black haired, large breasted, brown skinned, woman named Rosalita whose only job is to make sure my margarita glass never empties.

And a listerine bottle for backup, a sprite bottle for double backup and a walker welded shut and filled with ether. Methinks you are not taking your vacation serious enough.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Look on the bright side - at least she's not going back to work... she can work on her margarita-presentation skills.

Once again, you speak truth sir.

 

[splat]

Well On St. Thomas at Megaan Beach , they had a waitress who would serv you in the water in a bikini !

 

[valve bouncer]

cruise the Inside Passage.

Could be some love boat action with the missus here Squeeb if you play your cards right. Try this;
[HUGHGRANTVOICE] I was wondering...pondering really, whether, obviously if you were agreeable...that one day...possibly...I might be able to...you know.....cruise your inside passage....as it were[/HUGHGRANTVOICE]

 

[I Are Baboon]

Ship has a lap pool, fitness room, and the promenade deck circles the entire ship.

If you're going to run on the ship, get outside EARLY in the morning to get your running in. It'll be damn near impossible to run on the ship once the ship wakes up. The last ship we were on had an outdoor track on one of the decks, and even at 8:00 in the morning there were a lot of people walking on it. I did one four mile run on that track then decided sticking with the fitness center was a lot easier than weaving in and out of track walkers. Aside from the people, running on the deck was cool.

 

[SkaredShtles]

Well On St. Thomas at Megaan Beach , they had a waitress who would serv you in the water in a bikini !

Using that photo as evidence, I'd say stevew is SPOT FVCKING ON.

 

[eaterofdog]

And a listerine bottle for backup, a sprite bottle for double backup and a walker welded shut and filled with ether. Methinks you are not taking your vacation serious enough.

There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Using that photo as evidence, I'd say stevew is SPOT FVCKING ON.

Sea levels must have dropped an inch when all those fatties got out of the water.

 

[dante]

Sea levels must have dropped an inch when all those fatties got out of the water.

Why exactly do people go on cruises when you could just fly to some random part of the Caribbean instead? Wake up in the morning to get shuttled off of the boat so you can go play in the water for a couple hours with thousands of other people, and then run to get back to the boat with the rest of the cattle before the dinner bell rings?

Find some little island without a port for cruise ships instead, and you'll have that same beach without 99.999% of the people...

edit: So it looks like this instead:

 

[Westy]

Why exactly do people go on cruises when you could just fly to some random part of the Caribbean instead? Wake up in the morning to get shuttled off of the boat so you can go play in the water for a couple hours with thousands of other people, and then run to get back to the boat with the rest of the cattle before the dinner bell rings?

Find some little island without a port for cruise ships instead, and you'll have that same beach without 99.999% of the people...

Buggery isn't considered gay when you are at sea.