[Craw]

I have pretty much decided that I'm going to need to clean the pipes before tonight’s date.

I'm thinking I may need to clean twice just to make sure.............

I'm going to give it everything I've got....... hit one out of the park for the home team!

Here's what you should do in addition to your pipe cleaning. This is to make sure your date ends great!

First, make sure your car has sufficiant tuneage. Cuts from Y&T, and Yngwie Malmsteen really help to set a sexy rocking mood.

Also, make sure to remember to spray cologne into your car, after you of course, apply it to all of your "snuggle areas".

When you first meet her, make sure you say "I like your butt", but not in that manner. That's rude. Be eloquent. Like:

"Gazing upon your ripe buttocks makes me feel a joy I have not experienced since my days sailing off the Ivory Coast. I will mourn the time when our date shall end, and I will no longer be able to gaze at such reubenesque beauty....the sorrow...such sweet sorrow". You know, something like that.

Forget all the cliched date ideas like dinner and a movie. Do something fun and spontaneous. Yell at old people, or take an interperative dance class. If you're in Hollywood, you can always take a yoga class while sipping on a soy chai milk wheatgrass eucalyptus latte. Don't forget to stop by the Kabbalah center for your red bracelets, you can get Madonna to sign them too! That's something your date will never forget!

Just a few ideas. I'm sure others on this board can chime in with their tips to make sure your date is great!

 

[biggins]

was yo daddy i meat burglar? cause it looks like he stole two fine hams and shoved them up the back of your dress

 

[SuzyCreamcheese]

Make sure in your back seat you have:
1. A large sheet of polyethylene
2. a gallon jug of Wesson oil
3. swim fins
4. 1 midget of either gender
5. a small Mexican dog
6. Bosco
7. gagball

Next load up your CD changer with a selection of Skinny Puppy's greatest hits which must include Vivisect Vi. Make sure thaqt you have installed the bass tubes for full effect.

Tinted windows are also a must have item.

Oh....don't forget flowers. Women looooooooooooooooove flowers.

The Cheese

 

[JRB]

Oh....don't forget flowers. Women looooooooooooooooove flowers.

The Cheese

The Massengill kind of flowers???

 

[Tap]

When it comes to stepping up and doing it, all it takes is sacking up and you can do it, too.... all you have to do is try, ya fukkin' pussy - Jamie Pierre

 

[Konabumm]

haha, if i need massengill for any reason i am outta there.

Thanks for all the dating tips, i was thinking maybe i should just look deep into her eyes and say.....

"Suck me beautiful"

 

[SuzyCreamcheese]

The Massengill kind of flowers???

Sure if you're into THAT kind of thing.

The Cheese

 

[iresmoke1]

was yo daddy i meat burglar? cause it looks like he stole two fine hams and shoved them up the back of your dress

BWAAAAHH HAA HAAAA

 

[biggins]

BWAAAAHH HAA HAAAA

you must know what movie that is from

 

[DVNT]

Make sure in your back seat you have:
1. A large sheet of polyethylene
2. a gallon jug of Wesson oil
3. swim fins
4. 1 midget of either gender
5. a small Mexican dog
6. Bosco
7. gagball

Next load up your CD changer with a selection of Skinny Puppy's greatest hits which must include Vivisect Vi. Make sure thaqt you have installed the bass tubes for full effect.

Tinted windows are also a must have item.

Oh....don't forget flowers. Women looooooooooooooooove flowers.

The Cheese

Holy Crap! I can pick 4 things off your list already.

 

[SkaredShtles]

<snip>"ripe buttocks"

Ripe buttocks? You mean like:

"Wow, this fromunda cheese is *RIPE*"?

-S.S.-

 

[Hawkeye]

Ripe buttocks? You mean like:

"Wow, this fromunda cheese is *RIPE*"?

-S.S.-

How fitting that Massangill was mentioned by someone named "the Cheese"

You could trade "Yo Mamma" jokes all night

 

[narlus]

smoove b always has some good advice:

"I will serve you on a soft, silk table-cloth that has been freshly laundered and purchased from the finest table-cloth store in all of creation. It will be the most spectacular dinner you have ever consumed.

There will also be corn served."

"Baby, I want your brown sugar right now. Freak me on my desk right this second. Give it up to Smoove B. Take a ride on his Caravan of Love."

"Your feedback is very important. Please help me to help you."

"Damn."

 

[punkassean]

smoove b always has some good advice:

"I will serve you on a soft, silk table-cloth that has been freshly laundered and purchased from the finest table-cloth store in all of creation. It will be the most spectacular dinner you have ever consumed.

There will also be corn served."

"Baby, I want your brown sugar right now. Freak me on my desk right this second. Give it up to Smoove B. Take a ride on his Caravan of Love."

"Your feedback is very important. Please help me to help you."

"Damn."

Ahhh that's just too much fun!

I'm almost crying...

 

[golgiaparatus]

LMAO! New sig material right there... Thanks Craw.

 

[golgiaparatus]

Make sure in your back seat you have:
1. A large sheet of polyethylene
2. a gallon jug of Wesson oil
3. swim fins
4. 1 midget of either gender
5. a small Mexican dog
6. Bosco
7. gagball

Next load up your CD changer with a selection of Skinny Puppy's greatest hits which must include Vivisect Vi. Make sure thaqt you have installed the bass tubes for full effect.

Tinted windows are also a must have item.

Oh....don't forget flowers. Women looooooooooooooooove flowers.

The Cheese

FLOL!!!! I love this thread

 

[mack]

he forgot the love glove, DUH!!!