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David Letterman's Top Ten List of John Kerry Excuses

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,003
149
The Cleft of Venus
David Letterman's Top Ten List: John Kerry Excuses
CBS | 11/4/04 | David Letterman


Top Ten John Kerry Excuses

10. Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't get flu shots.

9. Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots.

8. Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo mama is so fat" jokes.

7. The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him.

6. "Dude--it's the Curse of the Bambino."

5. Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico.

4. Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.

3. Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.

2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war.

1. Was distracted by late night erotic phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.


:p
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,335
15
in da shed, mon, in da shed
I'm not sure whose misery I took the greatest pleasure in- Rush's or O'Reilly's. Maybe we could get a threesome going if the paparazzi turn up some pix of Franken in a Catholic schoolgirl getup.
 

ncrider

Turbo Monkey
Aug 15, 2004
1,564
0
Los Angeles
N8 said:
David Letterman's Top Ten List: John Kerry Excuses
CBS | 11/4/04 | David Letterman
4. Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.
:p
lesbians are always hot.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
I wish I could marry one of the Bush daughters. Talk about pissing off some hippies I know...
 

zod

Turbo Monkey
Jul 17, 2003
1,376
0
G-County, NC
BurlyShirley said:
I wish I could marry one of the Bush daughters. Talk about pissing off some hippies I know...

Don't forget about never working again!!! And bikes!! All the bikes you could ever want, and a private Ranch to ride on 24-7 :drool:
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
zod said:
Don't forget about never working again!!! And bikes!! All the bikes you could ever want, and a private Ranch to ride on 24-7 :drool:
No kidding. That's exactly what I mean. Life would be....great, I guess. No worries at all, and plenty of pissed off hippies. What on earth could be better? Maybe some 2 on 1 action with a Bush daughter and a Cheney daughter I guess. :p
 

ncrider

Turbo Monkey
Aug 15, 2004
1,564
0
Los Angeles
stevew said:
To bad the twins aren't...


And maybe the niece...
oh I don't now about that. They might have hot sex slave girlfriends.(they are rich you know). Either way I love lesbians. :devil: