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Dirty Words: The Short Arm of the Law

Ridemonkey.com

News & Reviews
Jun 26, 2009
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In this new editorial column, former USA Today editor Sal Ruibal muses on the varied contents of his Camelbak and some of the strange laws that surround mountain biking. Enjoy.
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By Sal Ruibal
Courtesy of Bike Magazine


Let’s get this straight right off the bat: I have nothing against road bikes. Hey, 12 percent of my bike herd is a road bike. Those skinny tires are really handy on nice, clean and freshly paved asphalt. Smooth as a baby’s butt that requires your mama’s attention.

The other 88 percent are either mountain bikes or cross-bikes or cross-bikes with mountain-bike tires. At any given point, two have at least one flat, one is still crud-crusted from a ride in February, one is in the shop on life-support and the rest are sleeping off a night ride.

I am hard on bikes, for sure. But they like it rough. Rock gardens? Check. Sketchy concrete stairs? Check. Slaughterhouse Loop? Check.

I go through CO2 like global warming. That’s not change jingling in my shorts pocket, that’s empty cartridges.

The mountain bike credo of self-sufficiency has reached its highest form in the contents of my CamelBak, which weighs more than your steel 29er. That’s because I am also an IMBA Trail Ambassador [laugh here].

Like Deputy Barney Fife on knobby tires, I’m ready for any possibility but impotent in the face of reality. For liability purposes, IMBA does not allow nor do I want to fix everyone’s busted bike on the trail. I can loan you a tool and a tube and sit back and watch you do it, which is often great fun, but I am not allowed to touch you or your bike.

Heck, I can barely deal with my own mechanicals. But I can give you a gel if you’re hungry. I carry a wide selection of gooey crap, crispy waffle pieces, old licorice, Haribo from the 2003 Tour de France, a dime bag of something, ramen noodles and Pixie-Stix.

Read the rest of Sal's thoughts right hereon Bikemag.com.


Sal Ruibal learned how to ride a mountain bike from Ned Overend in 1998 and it’s been downhill ever since. A reporter and editor at USA Today from 1987 to 2010, he was the first mainstream sportswriter to cover mountain biking as a legitimate sport. In 2007, Sal was inducted into the Mountain Bike Hall of Fame. A frequent rider and sporadic racer, he placed fifth in Masters 45+ category at the 2002 24-Hour Solo World Championships thanks to a blizzard that eliminated most of the field. He joined up with Bike and Paved in 2010 and hasn’t looked back except when the police are following him. He was born in Colorado but lives in Virginia.