"You post like an engineer, trying to justify his education."
Do you have a favourite insult?
- Thread starter MMike
- Start date
On another board I called Jan Ullrich fat and all these people got their panties in a bunch.
Was I wrong?
Was I wrong?
Rarely used, but effective: "d!ckbreath"
J
JRB
Guest
cu*t.
Dousche bag or possibly dousche nozzle
I CAN spell 'hair'...I just think saying/typing HAYER is more fun to say...Toshi said:i like to pick on people who can't spell "hair" yet rag on the mullet 24/7
Guys are so damn catty...
As I was scanning posts, I misread this to read:Polandspring88 said:
"I'd like to go eat a bag of dicks." That usually prevents any further conversation.
I started laughing really, really hard - because I imagine it would bring conversation to an immediate halt.
"your mom goes to college"
I've found myself calling people "whore" a lot
spunk monkey is another fav
I've found myself calling people "whore" a lot
spunk monkey is another fav
Crazy Sweeper said:
SNORT! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"Damn dude, you're a useless as a one-legged man in an a$$ kicking contest."
you're about as smart as a woodpecker on an aluminum telephone pole
I was thinking the same thingCrazy Sweeper said:
That, and I refer to people (especially ugys) as a "sally" when they wimp out on stuff :devil:
Insults are best used when somebody is already really frustrated.
For instance, Have you ever seen two people struggling to secure a DH bike onto a roof rack on a hot day.
Then you can drop a
"Man, you guys look like 2 monkies trying to f*** a football."
They will either laugh or kill you.
I also like to throw out a random,
"I bet you like to rub salt all over your ass and go to the petting zoo."
And Mike that shirt one is a good one.
I have heard it as
"That is a nice shirt, do they sell Mens clothes where you got it?"
For instance, Have you ever seen two people struggling to secure a DH bike onto a roof rack on a hot day.
Then you can drop a
"Man, you guys look like 2 monkies trying to f*** a football."
They will either laugh or kill you.
I also like to throw out a random,
"I bet you like to rub salt all over your ass and go to the petting zoo."
And Mike that shirt one is a good one.
I have heard it as
"That is a nice shirt, do they sell Mens clothes where you got it?"
the shirt joke is from celebrity jeopardy on SNL
Boy, yer dumber than a jar of frogs.........
It's actually much older than that.......Crazy Sweeper said:
I like to say F*** face.
Like when in traffic... get out of my way F*** face or step on it F*** face or you stupid F*** face.
Like when in traffic... get out of my way F*** face or step on it F*** face or you stupid F*** face.
Another one I like to use when I'm joking around with my co-workers is "Don't make me wish I was home". And now that I'm doing their scheduling, I tell them to "remember, the importance of your request is directly proportionate to the size of the dollar bill it's written on". Maybe not the strongest, slimiest of insults, yet they are fun to toss around from time to time for a laugh.
I thought all dollar bills were the same sizemantispf2000 said:
Skank.
You are one load I wish your mother had swallowed.
Frankly, if you sucked anymore you would inhale your own dick.
Your wife is like a brick; flat on both sides, dirty, and gets layed by Mexicans.
If you were any dumber you would be wearing a helmet
You are one load I wish your mother had swallowed.
Frankly, if you sucked anymore you would inhale your own dick.
Your wife is like a brick; flat on both sides, dirty, and gets layed by Mexicans.
If you were any dumber you would be wearing a helmet
The best part of you ran down your mothers leg..
The best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's a**
Things along the lines of, "Is that acne? Or just scars from where the coat hanger abortion failed?" tend to do the trick.
M
MSpike
Guest
This one is specific to the situation so it's not an all-purpose insult but I thought I'd post anyway.
I sported a mohawk for many years and had my share of insults and smart remarks thrown my way. For the most part, I just smiled sweetly back at the person but if they caught me on a bad day, they weren't so lucky. My roommate and I had moved to a new apartment and I told her that since she had bought the curtains last time, it was my turn this time. I headed out to Sears to pick some up but unfortunately, and purely by chance, there happened to be a huge sale on curtains going on. The place was absolutely packed. Ugh! I wasn't in the mood to be harrassed and didn't really want to be there but I decided to gut it out anyway. I minded my own business and was very polite (as usual) and everyone did the usual staring thing but other than that, they pretty much just left me alone. Except for one person. There's one in every crowd and she just couldn't resist the temptation. She was a suburban housewife in a crowd of suburban housewives and she felt compelled to put the punker in her place. The place was pretty loud and she was about 25 feet away from me but she wanted to make sure everyone heard her so she shouted above the din "If my daughter came home looking like that I'd kill her." The place fell silent and everyone looked at me to see what my response would be. I looked at the woman and said "Lady, if my mother looked like you I'd kill mySELF." You could hear the ooohs and snickers and see the housewives hiding their smiles. They turned back to the lady to see what she would say but she didn't have a comeback so she just threw her hands in the air and walked away. Then they turned back and smiled at me. The punker wins! Ah yes, of all the insults I have hurled at people, I think that one is still my favorite.
I sported a mohawk for many years and had my share of insults and smart remarks thrown my way. For the most part, I just smiled sweetly back at the person but if they caught me on a bad day, they weren't so lucky. My roommate and I had moved to a new apartment and I told her that since she had bought the curtains last time, it was my turn this time. I headed out to Sears to pick some up but unfortunately, and purely by chance, there happened to be a huge sale on curtains going on. The place was absolutely packed. Ugh! I wasn't in the mood to be harrassed and didn't really want to be there but I decided to gut it out anyway. I minded my own business and was very polite (as usual) and everyone did the usual staring thing but other than that, they pretty much just left me alone. Except for one person. There's one in every crowd and she just couldn't resist the temptation. She was a suburban housewife in a crowd of suburban housewives and she felt compelled to put the punker in her place. The place was pretty loud and she was about 25 feet away from me but she wanted to make sure everyone heard her so she shouted above the din "If my daughter came home looking like that I'd kill her." The place fell silent and everyone looked at me to see what my response would be. I looked at the woman and said "Lady, if my mother looked like you I'd kill mySELF." You could hear the ooohs and snickers and see the housewives hiding their smiles. They turned back to the lady to see what she would say but she didn't have a comeback so she just threw her hands in the air and walked away. Then they turned back and smiled at me. The punker wins! Ah yes, of all the insults I have hurled at people, I think that one is still my favorite.
twat works pretty good.
"Nice work, you just put you foot in your mouth even though your head is up your ass."
"Your grandfather called, he wants his shirt back."
"I've forgotten more about bikes than you will ever know."
"Your grandfather called, he wants his shirt back."
"I've forgotten more about bikes than you will ever know."
Awsome man. Score one for the freaky people. I had a mohawk for a while many moons ago. I know those looks you speak of. It's nice to see the loud obnoxious people like her getting the smack down. Honestly I have never understood why people are so fascinated with unusual hair styles, colors or unusual clothing. Shoot, I think I'll dye my hair red again this weekend and then go to the local Sears.MSpike said:
M
MSpike
Guest
Excellent! Yeah, I don't know why people get upset about hair styles or anything else for that matter. Then again, having a 'hawk is an easy way to weed people out because if they're going to be that judgmental and superficial, I probably don't want to get to know them in the first place. Plus the fact that I was always polite and well-mannered generally threw people for a loop because I didn't fit their "stereotype" of what a punker should be like. When you go to Sears, be sure to check out the curtains.Ciaran said:Awsome man. Score one for the freaky people. I had a mohawk for a while many moons ago. I know those looks you speak of. It's nice to see the loud obnoxious people like her getting the smack down. Honestly I have never understood why people are so fascinated with unusual hair styles, colors or unusual clothing. Shoot, I think I'll dye my hair red again this weekend and then go to the local Sears.
Here is one of my Fav's I forgot about:
Cum guzzler!
Cum guzzler!
