Dong bags for knocking boots
- Thread starter DirtMcGirk
- Start date
Too bad your Dad wasn't...
I suggest a custom rig fabricated from tongue depressors and duct tape. The depressors may alleviate your performance issues.
When choosing a condom, fit is the most important thing.
I use Weber grill covers.
I use Weber grill covers.
You have a square weewee?
Condoms have always been a problem for me. You see, I am hung like a horse..fly. 
Dirt, you are a dumbass for even thinking this way at this point and a douche for opening it up in this forum. I'm ashamed that I spent any energy even reading your last two threads about how to save this debacle of a relationship with your soon-to-be-ex. If you had anything close to love for this woman and anything resembling a broken heart from the end of that relationship, you would be taking some time to consider what you need to do as a person to get yourself back on track before considering going out on the hunt for a roll in the hay. I'd be willing to bet that your desire to hunt for the physical is just a manifestation of the repression you feel from having to hold back on your self-destrictive habits in order to stay sober; you feel the need to destroy yourself, and if you can't do it with substances, you'll find another way.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself, foo.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself, foo.
geez, who invited the fun police to the party?
condoms stink....i mean you gotta build up a immunity to std's somehow right?
Fixed!
Dirt, you still looking for a place to stay for Sea Otter?
Dude, Dirt is a confessed self-destructive individual. He needs to be told that he is being a dumbass for thinking dumbass ideas, not laughed at which will only encourage him.
Dirt, if you want to break the cycle and stop being an asshat. Otherwise, I'll be sitting back and waiting for the next thread about how much of a PITA his soon-to-be-ex is as she rakes him over the coals in divorce court because she found out he was fooling around w/ new tail before the divorce was legal... and the follow up thread about how the new woman/women in his life are ruining whatever shards of it are left with drama, STD's, and/or kids.
Picking your nose doesn't count either
You know that you can't get sheep pregnant right? No need to pull out there.
And Dirt, you can't go wrong with advertising like this....
I haven't touched anyone other than my wife in 13 years. This includes the time after she dropped the "I want a divorce" bomb on me.
Hell, I am not going to do anyone or anything until such at time that I've confirmed that she's been with someone else. I believe in marriage, but once she crosses that threshold with someone else, its game on.
Hell, I am not going to do anyone or anything until such at time that I've confirmed that she's been with someone else. I believe in marriage, but once she crosses that threshold with someone else, its game on.
No offense Dirt... but your life appears to be a complete trainwreck. How does one person create this much drama? 
To go back through all the threads would be nearly impossible.
Do you believe she wants a divorce because she cheated and found someone "better"? Because of the way she thinks you are (based upon the way that you were)? Or a combination of both?
She wants a divorce because for the past two years I have been a complete and total ****wit. I wasn't supportive of her being in the Navy, I have a deeply rooted problem with her mother and the fact that I've moved every six to eight months didn't work for me.
One night in November I got drunk, we got into a fight, and I said some things that I shouldn't have. She called me the day after Thanksgiving and informed me of her decision.
I was a bad husband. Something I knew, but never implimented, was that you should put your wife above all things, including yourself. I burnt out, and when I did, it went really ugly. I flipped out, wanted blood by the gallon, and was just not much fun to be around.
The funny thing was that maybe four days before she dropped the hammer on me, I came to the conclusion that I could play second fiddle to the Navy for a few more years. I was willing to put the deeply rooted desire to fight with them on every turn aside if it was going to make her happier and make her goings easier. The reality is that I love this woman, more than anything in this world. The sun rises and sets for me with her, and it took me having to bottom out to realize that.
My wife, in all reality, has three husbands. She has the Navy, Medicine and me. A lot of the time, as a setting of circumstance, I came last in that equation, and was forced to sleep outside. My marriage had problems, and instead of admitting to and dealing with my fears, I just got mad. When I get mad things go sideways, my temper is legend in a lot of places.
Now, after hitting bottom, I don't miss my temper. I miss my wife, I miss having a home of some sort, I miss thinking of the future. I've stopped dreaming of all of those things, and now I just have the recurring nightmare where I am at her grave side with the 21 gun salute, a faceless Admiral handing me a folded flag covered in her blood ending with me falling into the grave with her.
Pretty ****ed up I am I am.
One night in November I got drunk, we got into a fight, and I said some things that I shouldn't have. She called me the day after Thanksgiving and informed me of her decision.
I was a bad husband. Something I knew, but never implimented, was that you should put your wife above all things, including yourself. I burnt out, and when I did, it went really ugly. I flipped out, wanted blood by the gallon, and was just not much fun to be around.
The funny thing was that maybe four days before she dropped the hammer on me, I came to the conclusion that I could play second fiddle to the Navy for a few more years. I was willing to put the deeply rooted desire to fight with them on every turn aside if it was going to make her happier and make her goings easier. The reality is that I love this woman, more than anything in this world. The sun rises and sets for me with her, and it took me having to bottom out to realize that.
My wife, in all reality, has three husbands. She has the Navy, Medicine and me. A lot of the time, as a setting of circumstance, I came last in that equation, and was forced to sleep outside. My marriage had problems, and instead of admitting to and dealing with my fears, I just got mad. When I get mad things go sideways, my temper is legend in a lot of places.
Now, after hitting bottom, I don't miss my temper. I miss my wife, I miss having a home of some sort, I miss thinking of the future. I've stopped dreaming of all of those things, and now I just have the recurring nightmare where I am at her grave side with the 21 gun salute, a faceless Admiral handing me a folded flag covered in her blood ending with me falling into the grave with her.
Pretty ****ed up I am I am.
Then why start an asinine thread like this in the first place? Trying to stimulate conversation, or just attention whoring? Both?
I've kind of chosen to isolate, other than riding bikes or going snowboarding, so I need to bounce things off of people, or I get a little out there.
And **** you for asking, buddy!
And **** you for asking, buddy!
Just curious DirtMcGirk... what sort of work do you do?
Nothing that I would admit to on here.
Can it be worse than selling shoes to the larger size women of Montana?
Dirt is like the lovechild of PSP and Courtney Love.
Actually, as of this afternoon I am unemployed. The mountain let all non-essential staff go, so like 12% of Nevada, I am looking for a job.
Like you havent already??
DANG! Got to it before me! I was getting ready for the Al Bundy angle. Rep your way...
Guess I could have asked if he played high school football.
