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Dong bags for knocking boots

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
Since it really looks like I am going to rejoin the world of the single and humping here in less than a month, I need some condom advice.

What do you keep in your dong bag arsenal? Anything you don't like, or found that is prone to pinch flatting?

I haven't worn one in almost 10 years, so I need some advice here.
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
For fuxxake mate, just go and have a flog. You're a chronic babbler, I bet you could speak underwater with a mouthful of marbles
 

RUFUS

e-douche of the year
Dec 1, 2006
3,480
1
Denver, CO
Dirt, you do know that if the divorce gets dirty that she can possibly use all of your posts in court. Possibly being the key word, depending on the judge it can be used as evidence.

Stay calm and ride it out until it is over or until it is getting resolved and keep your thoughts to yourself for the time being.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
Its not going to court.
If she wants out I can go right ahead and sign what she wants.

I've been good since she left over seven months ago, I can be good another few weeks. Just trying to make conversation.
 

Drunken_Ninja

Turbo Monkey
Aug 25, 2002
1,094
1
Hangin' with Riggs and Mertah
Dirt, you do know that if the divorce gets dirty that she can possibly use all of your posts in court. Possibly being the key word, depending on the judge it can be used as evidence.

Stay calm and ride it out until it is over or until it is getting resolved and keep your thoughts to yourself for the time being.
The question how do you practice safe sex? after being served divorce papers?

c'mon man we are talking about sexual liberation here.
 

RUFUS

e-douche of the year
Dec 1, 2006
3,480
1
Denver, CO
The question how do you practice safe sex? after being served divorce papers?

c'mon man we are talking about sexual liberation here.
I didn't say don't do it, just keep it quiet. I have seen a friend lose EVERYTHING instead of half doing the same thing and shooting off his mouth. If they are going to divorce you then they aren't going to feel bad about completely fu**ing up your life.

Put it on anyone's forehead that you want just don't post your intentions is all I said.
 

skinny mike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 24, 2005
6,415
0
Like this thread, you should just pull out.
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, 'Be my baby's daddy!' I couldn't get out in time. FML.
 

Damo

Short One Marshmallow
Sep 7, 2006
4,603
27
French Alps
Wasn't your last thread (of a line of threads these days) about wanting to meet her at the damn airport?

Make up your mind mate.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
In getting the papers in the mail my faith of a last minute save are going down the tubes. Mind you I am still going to try, but I just needed to talk about something that could cheer me up.

Somehow I have come to depend on the monkey to keep me happy. Its a sad state of affairs here in the coming spring of my discontent.
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,494
9,524
i'd say it all depends on if you are packing something the size of a babies arm or an adult pinkie toe.
 

jerseydirt

Turbo Monkey
May 6, 2007
1,936
0
dirty jerz
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, 'Be my baby's daddy!' I couldn't get out in time. FML.
and then you woke up...
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,329
5
in da shed, mon, in da shed
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, 'Be my baby's daddy!' I couldn't get out in time. FML.
To all of you thinking skinny mike just made up this whole story to self-stroke his online ego, may I present on his behalf Defense Exhibit A, which he begrudgingly emailed as evidence-
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
To all of you thinking skinny mike just made up this whole story to self-stroke his online ego, may I present on his behalf Defense Exhibit A, which he begrudgingly emailed as evidence-
wow
that's all I've got
just wow...
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,839
15
So Cal
To all of you thinking skinny mike just made up this whole story to self-stroke his online ego, may I present on his behalf Defense Exhibit A, which he begrudgingly emailed as evidence-
A pic of Mmike in a bikini? :think:
 
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