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Don't f@ck with golfers, they will KILL YOU!

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
29,418
1,994
Portland, OR
Pro golfer Tripp Isenhour faces criminal charges for killing hawk in tree with shot.

According to court documents, Isenhour got upset when a red-shouldered hawk began making noise, forcing another take. He began hitting balls at the bird, then 300 yards away, but gave up.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
31,570
2,541
With a name like Tripp, you knew he would be a twat.
 

eaterofdog

ass grabber
Sep 8, 2006
6,843
22
Central Florida
I live in Florida, land of golf. I pass like 5 courses on the way to work.

I have a game I call Porking Shots. When I drive by players, I'll watch and if someone is swinging, honk right on the down swing. (I know it's sick, but it's so damned funny.)

I usually like shake my fist at the driver in front of me or something and it throws then off. It doesn't always work though. I had one guy run out and throw his club at my car. I guess he had some money on that game.
 

MTBstud12

Monkey
Jan 24, 2008
484
0
Tejas
I live in Florida, land of golf. I pass like 5 courses on the way to work.

I have a game I call Porking Shots. When I drive by players, I'll watch and if someone is swinging, honk right on the down swing. (I know it's sick, but it's so damned funny.)

I usually like shake my fist at the driver in front of me or something and it throws then off. It doesn't always work though. I had one guy run out and throw his club at my car. I guess he had some money on that game.

Watch for the golfers who are skilled enough too nail your car with the ball...been on the course and seen it before.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
4
I had one guy run out and throw his club at my car.
If a golfer threw anything at my car it would be the last thing he did before going to the morgue to have the rest of his clubs removed.
 

HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
10,581
883
Seattle
One of the guys I ride with has made it a stated life goal to never, ever play golf. :rofl:
 

Sherpa

Basking in fail.
Jan 28, 2004
2,240
0
Arkansaw
I live in Florida, land of golf. I pass like 5 courses on the way to work.

I have a game I call Porking Shots. When I drive by players, I'll watch and if someone is swinging, honk right on the down swing. (I know it's sick, but it's so damned funny.)

I usually like shake my fist at the driver in front of me or something and it throws then off. It doesn't always work though. I had one guy run out and throw his club at my car. I guess he had some money on that game.
I'm glad someone else's sport of choice is of such great importance to you.
 

dhmike

Turbo Monkey
Dec 20, 2006
4,307
42
Boise Idaho
this was on my news this moring, the breed of hawk is on the endangerd species list and the bastard golfer got suspended from golf and fined 10 grand.
 

eaterofdog

ass grabber
Sep 8, 2006
6,843
22
Central Florida
I like how the golfers are all defensive, like they know it's wrong and they can't help themselves.

Sort of like accidentally finding your friends japscat videos. "Hey man! It's just something I like, alright?"
 

loco-gringo

Crusading Clamp Monkey
Sep 27, 2006
8,887
5
Deep in the heart of TEXAS
Golf is fun, but I am off of the bike from playing. Who knew you could rip your arm out of socket getting a club from the bag?

Any how - does anyone know how hard it is to hit a bird with a golf ball?

Stupid idea, but impressive execution.
 

Dartman

Old Bastard Mike
Feb 26, 2003
3,916
0
Richmond, VA
Residents often found themselves facing off over the Dutch Gap vulture problem. About 400 black vultures roosting at Dutch Gap are considered a menace to visitors and boaters there, as they defecate and vomit on cars, destroy personal property, and roost and loaf on power station facilities, creating a safety hazard. Members of the Black Vulture Conservation Coalition protested any plans to kill the vultures – a plan that has been instituted three times in the past five years, to limited success – and plans began in November to instead harass the birds from their nesting and roofing sites. While the plan was marginally successful in removing some of the birds from Dutch Gap, a new problem arose when the vultures began to nest in Rivers Bend instead and resume their old habits.
Dutch Gap is a park and boat launch on the James River. Rivers Bend is a golf course community nearby. :rofl:
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,183
1
TN
I like golf for about 3 holes, then Im like, get me the **** out of here. Of course, by hole 5 all the beer Im swilling begins to take effect, and I could see myself gunning for a hawk or something just to break the monotony of it all. 18 holes is just too much for me.
I do like the par 3 courses though.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,461
3,225
Sleazattle
I'll hit the driving range near my house a couple times a year. I'd rather hit superballs with a baseball bat though.
 

S.n.a.k.e.

Monkey
Mar 12, 2003
525
0
N. Tonawanda, NY
I'll hit the driving range near my house a couple times a year. I'd rather hit superballs with a baseball bat though.
Have you ever hit a golfball with a baseball bat?

Never hit a superball, but I've hit a golf ball really far with a bat (farther than I can hit it with a golf club).