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Don't know where else to put this

wannabeabonedoc

Turbo Monkey
Apr 19, 2004
1,035
1
Wytheville Virginia
I'm not sure if I posted this when it happened, but last april my wife miscarried for the first time. One D&E later things were back to "normal". So on new years eve, we found out she was pregnant again and were quite excited. Until yesterday that is.... it has happened again. :plthumbsdown: :( I'm not sure what to do for her b/c she says that she kind of expected it and that she'll be fine. I figured if she needs me for anything then she'll tell me. Anyway, I thought I'd throw this up here since I know more about the people on RM than I do the people I've actually met (hooray misanthopes). So we're 1 for 3 now. I guess I should be happy for the one we have. He's a great kid.... Anyway, have a great day monkeys.
 

moff_quigley

Why don't you have a seat over there?
Jan 27, 2005
4,408
1
Poseurville
I'm not sure if I posted this when it happened, but last april my wife miscarried for the first time. One D&E later things were back to "normal". So on new years eve, we found out she was pregnant again and were quite excited. Until yesterday that is.... it has happened again. :plthumbsdown: :( I'm not sure what to do for her b/c she says that she kind of expected it and that she'll be fine. I figured if she needs me for anything then she'll tell me. Anyway, I thought I'd throw this up here since I know more about the people on RM than I do the people I've actually met (hooray misanthopes). So we're 1 for 3 now. I guess I should be happy for the one we have. He's a great kid.... Anyway, have a great day monkeys.
Not fun. It took my wife and I about 4 years to finally pop one out. Then about a year later she got pregnant again and ended up having a ectopic pregnancy. Needless to say we lost the baby and she lost her right ovary and tube. That been almost 3 years ago and haven't had any luck since then.

Be there for your wife and be a good listener is all the advice I can give.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
That sucks man :(

I wish I had some advice for you, but when my ex-wife and I had our miscarriage, we were young and stupid... it was the beginning of the end of our marriage.

Seeking advice on how to handle it is a good idea. All I can say is to keep communicating and loving. You don't have to be the strong man all the time, so when you're upset, share that with her. Let her know that you're there for her, but also, that you need her too.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,644
661
Front Range, dude...
Hang tough man, me and Mrs JohnE have been there, done that too. It sucks, but thats just the way. Continue to rejoice in the child that you have, another one will be along when the time is right...
 

X3pilot

Texans fan - LOL
Aug 13, 2007
5,861
1
SoMD
My wife had been told before we got married that she'd never be able to have kids after she had one miscarriage and was treated for uterian cancer, but lo and behold after we got married she did get pregnant and the result was Jr. X3Co-pilot. 3 miscarriages later, we decide to stop torturing her body and mind and figured he was a blessing and accepted fate.
Not saying that's what you should do, but just saying I understand your thoughts and feelings and wish you and your family the best.
 

Damo

Short One Marshmallow
Sep 7, 2006
4,604
20
French Alps
I think just being there for her if she needs you is all you can do.

What she says and what she means could be two different things, however, it sounds like you are doing all you could (and should) be doing.

Keep your own chin up and support her if and when she needs it.

Best luck and wishes doc.
 

wannabeabonedoc

Turbo Monkey
Apr 19, 2004
1,035
1
Wytheville Virginia
Thanks monkeys. I keep trying to get her to ask her doc about the possibility of PCOS b/c she has quite a fam. history of it but to no avail. She seems to be more willing to talk about it now so we had a good long walk in the woods to just be together and talk it out. Things are doing better. Thanks again!
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
Thanks monkeys. I keep trying to get her to ask her doc about the possibility of PCOS b/c she has quite a fam. history of it but to no avail. She seems to be more willing to talk about it now so we had a good long walk in the woods to just be together and talk it out. Things are doing better. Thanks again!
no no no

now is NOT the time to be looking for solutions, hold that for a month or so. Now is the time for healing for both of you.

(my comment is for people in general, maybe now is the time for her to talk about solutions, but for most women, it wouldn't be)
 

hooples3

Fuggetaboutit!
Mar 14, 2005
5,247
0
Brooklyn
I am really sorry to hear about your misfortune. My wife and I are currently pregnant, it took us a long time trying to get here and i as well as her would be devesated if anything bad happened, i dont even want to think of it.
as with everything talking through it and shring your feelings are the way to deal with it. you need to be honest and open..sure its going to be tough but such a relief once its out there...
 

wannabeabonedoc

Turbo Monkey
Apr 19, 2004
1,035
1
Wytheville Virginia
no no no

now is NOT the time to be looking for solutions, hold that for a month or so. Now is the time for healing for both of you.

(my comment is for people in general, maybe now is the time for her to talk about solutions, but for most women, it wouldn't be)

Thanks LordOpie, I'll definitely hold off on that then. Thanks again monos.