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Dubya's Resume

ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
6,257
881
Lima, Peru, Peru
i've got this in the mail and thought it was neat.
i dont know how much is truth, but even a 50% would be impressive.
just take it as a cool reading.


GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and
is not available.

Military:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas
Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in
Midland, Texas, in 1975.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company
went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers
baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including
Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over
500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans
lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice,
has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the US. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation
or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica
Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest
corporate rip- offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I
presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in
the
history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
the US. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President
since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in
the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of
mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I
did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens,
and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our
reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British
friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. =-O

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden
to justice.


RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public review.


PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004."

I'll just consider voting for someone else.
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
Are you happy now Aexis? You just made N8 cry. He loves that man and now he's curled up in the fetal position yelling for his mummy. Nice going mate:angry: ;) :D
 

Jr_Bullit

I'm sooo teenie weenie!!!
Sep 8, 2001
2,028
1
North of Oz
Well, at the very least, we will remember Bush....we may all wanna beat him over the head with those Nerf sponge sticks, but he'll be remembered for all that he has done. I can't wait till the day comes when my children come home from history class and give all of my generation dirty looks ;).
 

the law

Monkey
Jun 25, 2002
267
0
where its at
Originally posted by BigMike
So wait, Why shouldnt we vote him back into office?

I hate Bush, but I wonder how much of that is actually true.....
It is undoubtedly skewed. For example, Rice requested that the name of the oil tanker named after her be changed for security reasons. :D Seriously though, I think that the facts are true, however, the question remains, how different is Bush's record from that of other politicians?
 

Lexx D

Dirty Dozen
Mar 8, 2004
1,480
0
NY
Originally posted by Jr_Bullit
Well, at the very least, we will remember Bush....we may all wanna beat him over the head with those Nerf sponge sticks, but he'll be remembered for all that he has done. I can't wait till the day comes when my children come home from history class and give all of my generation dirty looks ;).
Nerf sponge sticks? I'd go more with a real stick. not a small one either, a really heavy log perhaps. :D just an idea:confused:
 

Jr_Bullit

I'm sooo teenie weenie!!!
Sep 8, 2001
2,028
1
North of Oz
Originally posted by Lexx D
Nerf sponge sticks? I'd go more with a real stick. not a small one either, a really heavy log perhaps. :D just an idea:confused:
hehe...I'm a pacifist...the most violent I have ever been was tying my big brother to an office chair and rolling him outside bound and gagged and then locking all the doors in the house. :thumb:
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,335
15
in da shed, mon, in da shed
Sadly, these are the only type of people who apply and are accepted by voters for "service" in public office. Professional politicians are nothing but vagabonds and liars who use the collective ignorance of the electorate to line their own pockets and those of their wealthiest supporters. It has been no different since the rise of city-states in Ancient Greece. Intelligent and virtuous folk are so statistically rare that they can never manage to deter enough fools from being swayed by fork-tongued devils to make a political difference in a republic.

And for the record, your shining beacon Kerry is no better an option. He says whatever he thinks people want to hear at such close intervals that he can't even keep track of his own professed positions, and is frankly less polished a pickpocket than Dubya. Voting a cheery-pussed pet rock into the presidency would be a better option than what we have to choose from in 2004. :(
 

golgiaparatus

Out of my element
Aug 30, 2002
7,340
41
Deep in the Jungles of Oklahoma
Originally posted by Jr_Bullit
Well, at the very least, we will remember Bush....we may all wanna beat him over the head with those Nerf sponge sticks, but he'll be remembered for all that he has done. I can't wait till the day comes when my children come home from history class and give all of my generation dirty looks ;).
Word...

BTW GWB=:devil:
 

MMike

A fowl peckerwood.
Sep 5, 2001
18,207
105
just sittin' here drinkin' scotch
What amuses me about the zealot republicans, is their complete inability to find fault with their guy AT ALL. He could be a known pyromaniac pedophile that ate his own feces...and all you'd get from them would be, "Oh yeah? Well is your guy any better?"

I mean at least us normal people can ackowledge that the democratic candidate is not perfect. We can admit that..."Yeah I like him....but it's too bad about..."

I don't understand the "NO!!! HE'S THE MARY POPPINS OF PRESIDENTS!! PRACTICALLY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!!!!" mentality.

Nooo....Bush would never engage in a Lewinsky-esque affair. He is of far too strong moral fiber to engage in such tawdry dealings. Yeah....whatever coke-fiend....

But go on...live your Alex P. Keaton existance.
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,335
15
in da shed, mon, in da shed
Originally posted by MMike
What amuses me about the zealot republicans, is their complete inability to find fault with their guy AT ALL. He could be a known pyromaniac pedophile that ate his own feces...and all you'd get from them would be, "Oh yeah? Well is your guy any better?"

I mean at least us normal people can ackowledge that the democratic candidate is not perfect. We can admit that..."Yeah I like him....but it's too bad about..."

I don't understand the "NO!!! HE'S THE MARY POPPINS OF PRESIDENTS!! PRACTICALLY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!!!!" mentality.

Nooo....Bush would never engage in a Lewinsky-esque affair. He is of far too strong moral fiber to engage in such tawdry dealings. Yeah....whatever coke-fiend....

But go on...live your Alex P. Keaton existance.
What you say is true of zealots on both side of the aisle. I seem to remember a good number of Democratic apologists unable to tolerate criticism of Bill during his many scandals, as well. It is a disease common to idealogues. They find it difficult to find fault with proponents of their stated positions or affiliations because doing so would would almost be like admitting that they made a mistake...and we certainly can't entertain that possibility, now, can we?

And since when did you start believing that you're a normal person? ;)
 

MMike

A fowl peckerwood.
Sep 5, 2001
18,207
105
just sittin' here drinkin' scotch
Originally posted by llkoolkeg
What you say is true of zealots on both side of the aisle. I seem to remember a good number of Democratic apologists unable to tolerate criticism of Bill during his many scandals, as well. It is a disease common to idealogues. They find it difficult to find fault with proponents of their stated positions or affiliations because doing so would would almost be like admitting that they made a mistake...and we certainly can't entertain that possibility, now, can we?

Ans since when did you start believing that you're a normal person? ;)

Well yes of course it's true of both sides. But I think almost by definition it's a little more pronounced on the republican side. Democrats are the more liberal/non-comformist/question authority type, and are therefore more willing to look at both sides.
 

RhinofromWA

Brevity R Us
Aug 16, 2001
4,622
0
Lynnwood, WA
Originally posted by MMike
Well yes of course it's true of both sides. But I think almost by definition it's a little more pronounced on the republican side. Democrats are the more liberal/non-comformist/question authority type, and are therefore more willing to look at both sides.
Please....MMike really?

Dems are as pasionate if not more so about their candidates....especially as of late. Libs are non-conformist if that means not being republican.....:rolleyes: Dems conform to their party lines as fast as any other....

You question authority when it doesn't side with your own party line.....sounds like a Republican or a Democrat to me.

If anything the blinders are on the Dems as they are passionate....passionate about getting rid of Bush....damned with who replaces him.

Dems like to think they hold all the "free thinking" cards....that just helps them sleep at night...mumbling something about "stupid republicans".... :)

They are not really any different in that respect than staunch Republicans....but the fact they tell each other they are independant thinkers is funny. Yes you are independent thinkers, just like every other Democrat. :D
 

911

Monkey
Feb 28, 2002
275
0
Vail CO
Originally posted by RhinofromWA
Libs are non-conformist if that means not being republican..... Dems conform to their party lines as fast as any other....

If anything the blinders are on the Dems as they are passionate....passionate about getting rid of Bush....damned with who replaces him.
In 2000 a considerable percentage of the left voted for Nader... this goes against conforming to party norms or taking an "anyone but the republican" attitude, as realistically voting for Nader equated to taking a vote away from the democratic party. I think this demonstrated the willingness of many left leaning people to recognize that both republican and democratic candidates were full of crap, and give their vote to someone who they believed had a genuine interest in bettering the country.

On the other side of things, you didn't see many conservatives voting for the more radically right wing candidates.
 

RhinofromWA

Brevity R Us
Aug 16, 2001
4,622
0
Lynnwood, WA
Originally posted by 911
In 2000 a considerable percentage of the left voted for Nader... this goes against conforming to party norms or taking an "anyone but the republican" attitude, as realistically voting for Nader equated to taking a vote away from the democratic party. I think this demonstrated the willingness of many left leaning people to recognize that both republican and democratic candidates were full of crap, and give their vote to someone who they believed had a genuine interest in bettering the country.

On the other side of things, you didn't see many conservatives voting for the more radically right wing candidates.
It was Nader or Gore......they made the right choice. :) j/k Also helps when you have a candidate you want. Gore was, well, uhm, ok, I guess. How left/Democratic were the Nader supporters? I don't know.

If the Nader supporters that would have voted Democratic truely had a clue they would recognize Nader didn't really have a chance so their statement was made but had less impact than they wanted. Now they want Bush out....Replacement be damned.

I am sure Kerry is a fine guy, mostly, from what I know, :think: wait who is Kerry? :confused: ;) I want to know who Kerry is, the good and bad Just some time before people try and vote him into office. He owes it to the population he wants to vote him in, to let them know what he stands for....not just he isn't Bush.

Rhino

PS- being "left leaning" means being a moderate...not a steadfast Democrat. Your example while a good for showing how the moderates from both sides play into elections does not realy tie in with what I was talking about. Both sides wave the flag of their team....there is just a bunch of crap from both sides that has pushed people into the center these days.

But like I said what ever lets you sleep at night. ;)
 
Mar 27, 2004
83
0
baltimore and boulder
"would you like the puppet or the left or the puppet on the right?"

-Tyler Durden, fight club

Why is no presidential candidate willing to sack up and admit that his whole life might not have been one long beaver cleaver story? I would like to think that people would respond to a candidate who was willign to accpet some responsibility, but sadly thats probably just not true. So in the end who wins? The better liar, perfect.
 

Jr_Bullit

I'm sooo teenie weenie!!!
Sep 8, 2001
2,028
1
North of Oz
Originally posted by RhinofromWA
I am sure Kerry is a fine guy, mostly, from what I know, :think: wait who is Kerry? :confused: ;) I want to know who Kerry is, the good and bad Just some time before people try and vote him into office. He owes it to the population he wants to vote him in, to let them know what he stands for....not just he isn't Bush.

Rhino
:) I, like many, want Bush out...but that doesn't mean I throw votes around blindly, so I wanted to know more about Kerry. Don't know tons yet, not enough to wade into the fray and debate political bs with everyone, but I did read through "his" website...you know...the one where it talks about nothing but how great he is?

Interesting read, didn't see anything at all that compared him to Bush, or even mentioned Bush. Just talked about what he stood for, his past a bit, etc etc. Seems like a good guy, perhaps the reason we don't like him is because he isn't controversial, so we have to invent something to make him controversial?

I know that a lot of the people in the "Kerry" camp are only advertising that "he's not Bush" but I didn't get the impression that's how Kerry wants people to "perceive" him.

In the end...he's still just another politician. I just try to pick the best of two bad options.
 

RhinofromWA

Brevity R Us
Aug 16, 2001
4,622
0
Lynnwood, WA
Originally posted by Jr_Bullit
:) I, like many, want Bush out...but that doesn't mean I throw votes around blindly, so I wanted to know more about Kerry. Don't know tons yet, not enough to wade into the fray and debate political bs with everyone, but I did read through "his" website...you know...the one where it talks about nothing but how great he is?

Interesting read, didn't see anything at all that compared him to Bush, or even mentioned Bush. Just talked about what he stood for, his past a bit, etc etc. Seems like a good guy, perhaps the reason we don't like him is because he isn't controversial, so we have to invent something to make him controversial?

I know that a lot of the people in the "Kerry" camp are only advertising that "he's not Bush" but I didn't get the impression that's how Kerry wants people to "perceive" him.

In the end...he's still just another politician. I just try to pick the best of two bad options.
Problem is, Kerry hasn't come out to say who he is or what he is for... When the Dems were finding out who they want to run it was "well I can beat Bush" "bush is this....." "I am the best bet of getting Bush out" Not how he will be good for the country. I would like for Kerry to come out and show us a little of himself. Right now in the public spotlight he is the Anti-Bush....and not much else.

I too would like to know more but politicians don't do that any more.

Kerry, the Democratic Bush. :)

Rhino
 

BostonBullit

Monkey
Oct 27, 2001
230
0
Medway, MA
exit polls during the democratic primaries showed that the majority of people that said they voted for Kerry did so not because they believed in what he believed in or thought he would make a good president; they did so because they thought he had the best chance of beating Bush.....cool

I say vote a poor dude into the oval office instead of a rich phuk with 6 mansions and a giant yacht (that's Kerry btw)....but that'll never happen so I guess I'll just stick with Bushy for now. Kerry is a career politician and spends 99.99% of his time trying to make you like him. At least Bush does whatever the hell he thinks is right, whether you agree with it or not.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
Originally posted by BostonBullit
I say vote a poor dude into the oval office instead of a rich phuk with 6 mansions and a giant yacht (that's Kerry btw)...
first, EVERY politician is wealthy, it's just a difference of zeros between 'em all, but they're all upper class.

next, Kerry has risked more personal wealth into his campaign than anyone previously -- except possibly Ross Perot.
 

BostonBullit

Monkey
Oct 27, 2001
230
0
Medway, MA
Originally posted by LordOpie
first, EVERY politician is wealthy, it's just a difference of zeros between 'em all, but they're all upper class.

next, Kerry has risked more personal wealth into his campaign than anyone previously -- except possibly Ross Perot.
that's what I'm saying....vote in a poor dude.

oh, and kerry HAS risked more personal wealth than any person previously....wait, are we talking about Mr or Mrs Kerry here?