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Dude, OMGWTFBBQ! Kingdom Trails and stuff?

robdamanii

OMG! <3 Tom Brady!
May 2, 2005
10,677
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Out of my mind, back in a moment.
So. Beth and I decided that work sucks and time off is needed (although she can't complain after coming back from 2 weeks in grand old Italia) to clear our heads. We booked a room at the Village Inn right there in the middle of East Burke and headed up last weekend. Yeah, I'm a slacker and haven't put pictures up yet, but that's the zen of me. Pfft.

Our balcony was just freakin' AWESOME. Yes, we had our own private balcony with Adirondack chairs and a bistro table. The view off the balcony wasn't too damn bad either.



Tap 'n Die was JUST cut last year when we were there, so we didn't get a shot at riding it. It's pretty f'in cool though.



Of course, I have to have the picture giving the illusion of awesome speed and the classic "Michael Jordan tongue hanging out" sickness:



And who can forget the view from The Inn at Mountain View Farms. It all makes sense now, eh?



Dude, that's a wicked big horse barn.



I wonder who lives in that big mansion on the hill. Surely not the plebeians who's bikes are napping in the shade of that big oak tree.



The sheer WTF-awesomeness of the new legs of Coronary Bypass just possessed my soul and turned me into the daemon of white jerseys and trail wickedness.



Coronary Bypass has nuclear cool berms to rail and mash.



There's also an unwritten obligation that you need to take a photo of all the bikes in your riding party chillin' under a tree at the start of Webs.



Dry feet my ass. This is about as far from "dry" as you can get. Kingdom had about 6" of rain in the week proceeding our grand arrival, and this quagmire was the result. I'm so pissed I'm stomping a (literal) mudhole in Mother Earth. Unfortunately, the mud won (it was about 8" deep in places.)



More mud pits. There's slop and goop everywhere, and for some reason it smells like horse poop. Ick.



Yet another artsy bike shot, this time from the sick thrill that is Jaw.



And Jaw is just such a mother trucker, it throws some wicked fun at you. This looks like this could go badly...



Dude, I'm so hardcore I can not only go over the bars, but I can have photographic proof. Actually, this one isn't all that embarrassing in its complete awesomeness.



More awesomeness that is Jaw. Those rocks are slippery like a soggy dishrag on a freshly waxed marble floor.



More of those tire eating wet rocks. Whose idea was it to run a trail across a drainage ditch?



Oh, the drop in isn't so bad, but the step-up out of the place can be a real bitch, can't it?



Nothing like the smell of soggy pine needles, fresh pitch, and the squeak of a loose cleat while you're struggling mightily to unclip from stubborn pedals.



After all that fun, we played around in the stream behind East Burke Sports. It was ICE F'IN COLD!



Wash away your pain, wash away the mud. Or you could just numb every part that touches the water and forget that said parts exist.



The horse-poop-mud-slop always wins in the end. It also does a great job of annihilating a clean bathroom.


Badda-f'in-BING! This actually happened the night we got there, but why not close up with it.



All in all, who could ask for a better vacation. It could have been a lot longer, but who's counting?
 
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