[mike67]

Check out item # 7132293727
What's this guy trippin on?
don't know how to link it, but here's the text...


Well, well, well here I go again. But this I cannot accept nor will I ever be able to live this down. My misgivings will undoubtedly be unfathomable and extensive upon the auction of this, my favourite bike. My most trusted steed in all the land born from the beautiful hills of Mill Valley, California at the base of Mt. Tamalpais, where trails are minutes away and Wilderness Trail Bikes headquarters is to be found.




I weep as I compose this, the bereavement of a true friend my WTB Phoenix. I am the original owner and we've never crashed. Do I start with the dimensions of my Baby and its components or shall I rant on about how superior possessions can be?



I’m certain each one of you is asking, “Why’s the bastard selling if it’s so damn perfect?” Well that’s my secret you meddlesome Curious George Monkey. You intrusive sub-human worm. I mean why don’t you track down your good for nothing dad and ask him why he left you and poor old Mom? Oh oh that might have been too close to home for Sally and Joe. Sorry guys I didn’t mean to “go there.” But then again I would have left too. There’s only so much a Man can take damn it! And either one of you is a good excuse as any to leave for greener pastures.



It won’t surprise me that there will be some of you bastards out there that want to know the most ridiculous of details of this bike. But I’ll tell you this bonehead this baby is perfect in every aspect.



I’m not going to even list the parts on my Baby. Look at the pics and if you can’t even make out what they are then you don’t deserve this bike. As for dimensions? I’ll furnish you with top tube 21.5", seat tube 14", chainstays 16.5", down tube 25", and head tube is 4.25"



In fact I love this bike so much I may not even sell it at auction’s end. That’s right you ignominious ball of dung. “Well if Baby Jesus ain’t kickin’ ass! Why the Hell should I bid?” Good question Pokemon. How can I best say that if you don’t bid you’ll never know will you? I might sell I might not. But then again you’re the type of person that doesn’t plan on ever taking any chances in life. I mean you even being here on the almighty eBay contemplating placing a bid should tell you something. What that’s supposed to mean? I don’t know? What am I your doctor? I’m not even your friend.





So don’t get on and start asking me questions like… you know what let me ask all the questions here and I’ll also answer them. That’ll make my life easy and your life… well your life can’t be as fulfilling as a box of Mac N’ Cheese.



Here we go:



Question #1 from the Netherlands: “What kind of shape is this bike in?”

Well Bjournk imagine if you will a bike. With wheels and those other parts that make it go forward when you pedal. Bike shape. That’s the kind of shape this bad boy is in – BIKE SHAPE!





Question #2 from Pittsburgh, PA: “How many miles do you think have been ridden on this bike?”

I’ll type slower you “Iron City runs through my blood!” kinda guy just so you can understand what I’m trying to sell here. Miles? At least a hundred miles and no more than a million. I mean all those trips to Original with your girlfriend late at night. Damn doesn’t she just love hot dogs? Dirty little minx.



Question #3 from a couple boys from Grove Cycles in Vancouver, BC: “CANADA RULES. YANKS CAN’T RIDE FOR CRAPY!”

First off gentlemen why the yelling and secondly what does “for crapy” actually mean? Down here we speak English. Lay off the bong and get back to me when Vancouver becomes the 52nd state. You know you’re next – who the hell wants Saskatchewan?



Question #4 from Starkville, Mississippi: “Did you ever crash this bike?”

Missississississippippi huh? Well how’s the Delta going son? Flathead catfish, Remington 870 , Merc V6 outboard, Budweiser, ‘Ole Miss, Ford 250 crew, wishing you were from Alabama, did I miss anything about being from Mississippi? Regardless, I must have but I doubt it was anything major. Put it this way there aren’t any dents on it, nor cracks in the paint.



Question #5 from Toronto, Canada: “Would you be willing to ship this into Canada?”

No. I… Hmm I can't come up with anything witty or derogatory about Toronto. Next.



Question #6 from Joe in Rochester Hills, Michigan: “Are you the original owner of this bike?”

If my above description didn’t suffice then I don’t know what will reach you. You’re not in the Upper Peninsula are you? Well let me answer you with this tidbit of information – Pistons suck, Lions suck, Red Wings suck, Fury suck, Titans suck, Wolverines suck, Broncos suck, Chippewas suck, Eagles suck, Wildcats suck, I'm not sure if there are other universities or sports franchises up there but if there are I hope they can all read better than you.



Question #7 from Beth in Raleigh, NC: "Man you take some great pics but can I get a picture of the..."

I'm not going to even let you finish that sentence darling. Why are you so demanding darling? Daddy didn’t spank you hard enough? Because you're so damn I'll send you pics but I'll be on the bike - being naughty.



Question #8 the boys from Vancouver, BC - again: “WE MEANT CRAP YOU ASS!”

This is question and answer time boys. QUESTION AND ANSWER TIME!



Question #9 from Tampa, FL: “What’s going on Marc? I can’t believe you’re selling her? You need money? I thought things were good? Why don’t you call? I told you you’d need money once you left me. And you thought that bike was the sh$%. Spent more time with that whore then with me when you first got her. I still don’t know what the F a derailleur is. I can’t believe you! I can’t believe you don’t call? Don’t you want me? I’m coming over you need me.”

Uhhh. No to all those questions. Umm this isn’t Marc by the way it’s, umm George. George in San Fernando, CA,





Question #10 from George in San Fernando: “No question. I just like to say that I’m the only George in San Fernando and I hate bikes.”

Thanks George. I appreciate your help.



Question #11 from Hartford, CT: “How does this ride?”

I have to borrow from my old ad, I just have to - It put it simply, this bike rides unlike a rabid TaunTaun and more like a – yeah you guessed it…a bike. Seriously though? It rides more like your sister – smooth along the curves with a responsive rear end.





Question #12 America: “Can I pick it up?”

I love the anonymity with this one so mysterious – “America.” Well you’re probably not in Juno or Honolulu so are you a ghost or a ninja? Maybe you’re a med student by day and a whore at night? Whatever you are you got my ear baby. Sure come on over and pick it up.



Question #13 Catherine “Cat” Ft. Lauderdale, FL: “I live real close would it be possible for me to test drive it before I bid?

Listen darling just because you let boys test drive you before they commit isn’t how I play. Yeah I went there! Truth hurts don’t it!



Question #14 from the moderator at www.bmxride.com: “You better not say I’m the moderator at bmxride.com Marc. A-hole you probably will. I just wanted to tell you not to post your mountain bike crap over here. We don’t even have a classified section! Stop screwing around I keep getting dumped on. Screw it I quit. Damn kids can moderate their own site. I hate this – I’m buying a entry level Litespeed”

Like I said people questions and answers. But that’s pretty funny. BMX is soooo cool.



Question #14 Trix from Tennessee: “You should come up here and ride my trails its great fun. I love them.”

When did this become the MarcBikeForumForIdiots I mean we already have www.mtbr.com don’t we? But if you read this guys comment slouching in a raspy, dirty old man voice its kinda creepy.



Any other questions? Nope? Then happy bidding folks.



Bid now. Pay Pal preferred. I accept Pay Pal if the money is in your account or a Cashier’s check or a USPS money order. I do not accept Pay Pal credit card payment because those bastards take a 2.9% chunk of my sale as well as $0.30. I realize they need to make money but hey I want it all. Nor do I accept personal checks. Shipping will probably be $40-50 depending on your location and how fast you want the stuff. Will ship via USPS and insured the day after I receive the payment. I better get a box.

 

[JRB]

How can someone that doesn't know how to link a URL call someone an idiot???

 

[Ciaran]

How can someone that doesn't know how to link a URL call someone an idiot???

SMACK! Dang Loco, you are on a roll today.

 

[Spudzie]

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7132293727

 

[mike67]

How can someone that doesn't know how to link a URL call someone an idiot???

Yeah, you got me

 

[manziman]

wow. the whole thing about being in "Bike Shape" umm...wow. Sounds a lot like strongbad and all his stupid answers.

 

[mack]

SMACK! Dang Loco, you are on a roll today.

Hes seems to be in a bad mood this week. I bet hes having trouble with his hard drive. Just not enough Ram to get it booted up

 

[JRB]

Hes seems to be in a bad mood this week. I bet hes having trouble with his hard drive. Just not enough Ram to get it booted up

Uhm - computer jokes that don't make sense won't make you seem any smarter. I promise.

 

[mack]

Uhm - computer jokes that don't make sense won't make you seem any smarter. I promise.

I bet if you applied just a little bit of you brain power you might actually go somewhere in life.



Wait, what was I thinking? Your an architectual drafter. :nuts:


ouch. sorry

 

[JRB]

I bet if you applied just a little bit of you brain power you might actually go somewhere in life.



Wait, what was I thinking? Your an architectual drafter. :nuts:


ouch. sorry

Dude - you make Drunken_Ninja seem like a freakin' noble prize winner. I am an IT/sales guy. Nothing to do with architecture. I am not the guy that even meets with the architects.

 

[mack]

Hmm, who was that then... sorry if i insulted the person who talked to me.



editl: i think it was stosh (sorry)... however, hes going more places than you are...

 

[Velocity Girl]

Even funnier...check out his feedback page. This guy has some serious issues!!!

http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback&userid=crackingwise&iid=7132293727&frm=284

Seller: "Great Ebayer!!! Good Communication!!! Will do Business with Again!!! A+A+A+A+A+A"
Reply by crackingwise:" Business again? Sure - sell me your wife and kids. Okay just the wife. No? Damn. "

Seller: "FAST PAYMENT! GREAT BIDDER. THANKS!!! AAAAA +++++++"
Reply by crackingwise: "If I paid fast I was promised a sponge bath. I'm just so dirty. So very dirty."




seller: "FAST PAYMENT! GREAT BIDDER. THANKS!!! AAAAA +++++++"
Reply by crackingwise: "My girlfriend says I'm fast too. "Two-Pump-Chump" she calls me. Yeah"

 

[mack]

His humar is up to par with Locos.

Id like to see them do battle...

 

[chicodude]

You are a retard. Don't try to be funny.

 

[Ciaran]

His humar is up to par with Locos.

Id like to see them do battle...

That's it! Dang it, I am buying you "Hooked On Phonics"!
Here's an "E" and an apostrophe for you: e ' Use 'em!

:mumble: dingdangkidswiththeirdingdangbadgrammerdingdangit! :mumble:

 

[mack]

That's it! Dang it, I am buying you "Hooked On Phonics"!
Here's an "E" and an apostrophe for you: e ' Use 'em!

:mumble: dingdangkidswiththeirdingdangbadgrammerdingdangit! :mumble:

haha that was pretty bad wasnt it? I think that i will leave it as is.

 

[flatulant_man]

Dude - you make Drunken_Ninja seem like a freakin' noble prize winner. I am an IT/sales guy. Nothing to do with architecture. I am not the guy that even meets with the architects.

it's NOBEL prize. talk about irony

i saw some of the dumbest bidders ever. Someone was advertising the URL for one of those sights to "win a free iPod" but kind of hid that it was a url a little bit, ya know. so some dumbasses thought they were gettin a deal and bid 65 bucks on this url. he he he

 

[dh girlie]

I can't believe the guy can't come up with anything derogatory about Toronto... juuuuuust kidding!

 

[Ciaran]

haha that was pretty bad wasnt it? I think that i will leave it as is.

Hey, one of the best parts about being a kid is pissing off the old folks! Man, I used to love watching my dad turn bright red. Of course that was right before he hauled off and smacked me.

 

[mack]

Hey, one of the best parts about being a kid is pissing off the old folks! Man, I used to love watching my dad turn bright red. Of course that was right before he hauled off and smacked me.

Hehe, i piss of my history teacher off so much! He gets bright red and yells that its bad for his blood pressure.

Or he could just avoid the whole thing by not being an ass. :dancing:

 

[KleinMp99]

Another weak attempt at trying to make a funny ebay ad.........

:mumble:

 

[JRB]

it's NOBEL prize. talk about irony

i saw some of the dumbest bidders ever. Someone was advertising the URL for one of those sights to "win a free iPod" but kind of hid that it was a url a little bit, ya know. so some dumbasses thought they were gettin a deal and bid 65 bucks on this url. he he he

True, Henry. Just like when someone corrects someone else and won't use correct punctuation. Funny how that works. I stand by the stupid or lazy thing. Danged kids. :mumble:

 

[JRB]

I would also like to add that people that link to ebay adds should be banned.

 

[flatulant_man]

True, Henry. Just like when someone corrects someone else and won't use correct punctuation. Funny how that works. I stand by the stupid or lazy thing. Danged kids. :mumble:

yeah, ya got me.