[Smelly]

so i'm riding my bike around town today and i stop at a gas station down the street from my house to get a jug of milk. standing by the door is a grungy, homeless looking dude. so i go in, get the milk, and i'm standing next to my bike putting the milk in my backpack when he asks me if i have any spare change. "pizza place across the street has slices for $1.09 on monday. just tryin' to get me a slice." i look at him and inform him that monday was two days ago. he goes "really? well, i wasn't gonna get pizza anyway. i just wanna get drunk tonight."

i gave him a dollar for his honesty and for giving me the best laugh of the week

 

[Broken_Spoke]

Sounds like honesty is the best policy

Lets see the riding encounters I have had with the homeless is that there is this guy that lives on the local trails in a tent so I don't know if is technically "homeless" but anyway one time his tent was on our run out for a drop but we thought that we could just go around it with ease. Well I take the drop and managed to get a little more speed than I intened to and almost ened up going threw the guys humble residence.

 

[escapeartist]

This isnt quite as good as yours but i was in San francisco and saw this homeless guy with a glass budwiser mug in his hand and a sign that said "why lie I want beer"
________
California Dispensaries

 

[golgiaparatus]

Last encounter... Dude wiped the grunge off one of my wheels (note: I see this guys around) and said for $2 he'd do the rest while I was in the concert.

I come back out... 3 dirty wheels and 1 half clean... How much crack can one buy with $2?

 

[Cursor]

i was driving thru downtown LA last weekend and accidentally turned down an alley that was behind a homeless shelter. there must have been 100 homeless people all over the place - sitting on the sidewalk, sleeping on the street, peeing against the wall..... when all of a sudden some bag lady crosses right in front of me. so i slam on my brakes. before i could get my foot on the gas, some other bag lady runs right in front of my car again and clocks the first one in the back of the head. then it was on :nuts: <-----even though they didn't have nuts, it was the only smiley with violence.

 

[BurlyShirley]

Dont give homeless people money. If you want to help, donate to a shelter that will actually put the cash to good use. I bought a homeless dude a hotdog one time after he asked for some money for food and he threw it on the ground and started cussing up some **** and flailing around like he was going to hit me. I pushed him back and he fell over a curb and hit his head on the ground. Then he starten crying. WTF?

 

[Smelly]

Dont give homeless people money. If you want to help, donate to a shelter that will actually put the cash to good use. I bought a homeless dude a hotdog one time after he asked for some money for food and he threw it on the ground and started cussing up some **** and flailing around like he was going to hit me. I pushed him back and he fell over a curb and hit his head on the ground. Then he starten crying. WTF?

that's cuz he wanted booze, dude. they can find food in trash cans. no one throws alcohol away.
i agree with you that it's better to give the money to the homeless shelter, but this guy gave me the best laugh i've had all week, so i was paying him as an entertainer, not as a homeless guy. besides, how lame would this story be if it ended "so i went to the nearest homeless shelter and donated a dollar"

 

[LordOpie]

Dont give homeless people money. If you want to help, donate to a shelter that will actually put the cash to good use. I bought a homeless dude a hotdog one time after he asked for some money for food and he threw it on the ground and started cussing up some **** and flailing around like he was going to hit me. I pushed him back and he fell over a curb and hit his head on the ground. Then he starten crying. WTF?

now that's a funny story.


I tried to become an alcoholic... that's really difficult. I got so sick of alcohol I couldn't drink for several days.

 

[Flakey Jake]

I'd give them homeless guys change but I only carry hundreds. hehe.

 

[punkassean]

welcome to SC...

This town caters to the "dwelling challenged" with free food, shelter and clinics. Therefore we end up with lot's of 'em. So many in fact, I have seen ones that I didn't know if they were male or female...ones that were so strung on smack they had track marks all over, even their face...ones that were so drunk they drowned and floated face down dead and bloated down the san lorenzo river (Yuck!)...ones running around buck naked starting fights with the cops...ones who dress like a bunny spattered with blood playing tamborines...bums in pink suits that stand in intersections and cause traffic jams...did I mention I have only lived here for 6 months? I am really starting to hate bums! I wish I met some cool bums like yours...

 

[ADSfreeride]

I ran one over last Sunday!! My buddy and I were riding in Boston, and we cut across the Common. Well there he was, all asleep on the grass. about 50 yards from the stairs up to the Capital building. So, I turn around a take off full steam at him. Mind you my intention was to manual into bunnyhop over him, however; things didn't go quite as planned. I manualed beautifully but the whole bunny hop thing just didn't take effect. Needless to say, I became airborne after my rear tire smashed into him. He woke up, looked around and then passed back out. The best part, He was wearing a do not disturb sign.

 

[TULSATUMBLERSGF]

Cooter - not TTGF


man, i always give them money or stop at booger king and get them a big whopper meal, f#ck it, i even stop and buy a 12 pack of bud and give it to them, i mean really, why the f#ck not, if your life was that shiitty wouldn't you want to get f#cked up for a nite and forget it for a little bit? i say give it to them, give em a $20 and let em decide what the f#ck they do with it, they're big boy's, if they want to get drunk and not eat, well, that's the decision they have to live with the next day

 

[LordOpie]

I ran one over last Sunday!! My buddy and I were riding in Boston, and we cut across the Common. Well there he was, all asleep on the grass. about 50 yards from the stairs up to the Capital building. So, I turn around a take off full steam at him. Mind you my intention was to manual into bunnyhop over him, however; things didn't go quite as planned. I manualed beautifully but the whole bunny hop thing just didn't take effect. Needless to say, I became airborne after my rear tire smashed into him. He woke up, looked around and then passed back out. The best part, He was wearing a do not disturb sign.

Outstanding you win the Douche Bag of the Universe Award! Congrats!

Let me guess, you thought we'd think it's cool that you did that, right?

What a c0cksucker

 

[Silver]

Outstanding you win the Douche Bag of the Universe Award! Congrats!

Let me guess, you thought we'd think it's cool that you did that, right?

What a c0cksucker

Hey, if you can't assault someone who is homeless, the terrorists have won.

Why do you hate America?

 

[dG video]

The best is buying a couple 40's, drink them then take a piss in them, its gonna be golden color cause of all the beer, give it to them and watch them pretend to be ****ed up.

 

[Toshi]

Hey, if you can't assault someone who is homeless, the terrorists have won.

Why do you hate America?

ahha

i used to buy the homeless guy that hung around the 7-11 in the square spani kopita and white bread. he actually was appreciative altho more so for the plan bread

 

[Rockland]

I work @ welding shop. Outside the shop we have some big 30" dia. pipe that have sat out there for many months. There is this hobo like dude who sleeps in one of the pipes at night. He's got a blanket tucked down in there. No one knows if he is homeless or not, but every morn he crawls out of the pipe and walks down to the beach.

 

[llkoolkeg]

Maaaan, ya'ller some cold muthafugguhs!

I rarely give 'em money but I certainly don't insult or thump 'em.

My most memorable homeless encounter? While fishing for largemouth in Constitution Gardens in D.C., this ultra-knappy homeless dread strips and starts bathing in the knee-deep water near the island bridge, all the time taking a no-hands piss. Just then, the Presidential Motorcade rolls down Constitution Avenue(during Clinton's presidency), the dread sees it and goes FUGGIN' BALLISTIC. He starts waving his arms wildly with both middle fingers extended, dancing around and screaming something unintelligible at the vehicles, all the while still maintaining his mighty piss stream. I almost pissed myself, too, laughing at the reaction one of the Secret Service guys had while his suited torso was extended out the top of a trailing van in the motorcade. He actually did a double-take and pulled his dark glasses down his nose a bit to peer over them at the irate dread. The look on his face belied his confusion as to whether or not the naked, pissing homeless nut constituted a real threat to his charge.

 

[TULSATUMBLERSGF]

recently, i has just been to walmart supercenter and bought about $300 in groceries and my trunk was draggin the ground but i needed to stop and get gas sooo i pulled into a quickie mart... i saw a homeless man sitting on the curb with his sign hidden behind his backpack and he was eating a CUP OF RAMEN SOUP... broke my heart... i just couldnt stand it... i had a sheeot load of groceries in my trunk sooo i went in and paid for my gas and asked the clerk at the counter if i gave the homeless man some food would he be able to heat it up in the microwave inside.. he sd that was fine and that he would appreciate it... sooo i have him some frozen burritos and some sandwhich meat and cheese and flat bread and told him that the quickie mart agree to let him heat it up inthe microwave inside... he was really appreciative... if i had had anymore cash i would have bought him a 12 pack but i had spent it all at the grocery store and on gas darn it!

 

[golgiaparatus]

now that's a funny story.

Yeah that s**t is pure gold.

 

[golgiaparatus]

Maaaan, ya'ller some cold muthafugguhs!
Homeless dread strips and starts bathing... all the time taking a no-hands piss... waving his arms wildly with both middle fingers extended, dancing around and screaming something unintelligible at the vehicles, all the while still maintaining his mighty piss stream

LMFAO!

I would have lost it!

 

[LordOpie]

Hey, if you can't assault someone who is homeless, the terrorists have won.

Why do you hate America?

You keep this sh:t up and M.Moore will make "Biking For Columbine"

 

[HedgeHog]

Homeless dread strips and starts bathing... all the time taking a no-hands piss... waving his arms wildly with both middle fingers extended, dancing around and screaming something unintelligible at the vehicles, all the while still maintaining his mighty piss stream

That's freakin' halirious!

 

[dh girlie]

welcome to SC...

did I mention I have only lived here for 6 months? QUOTE]

Damn! Only six months? Fooled me! You already have the SC attitude down pat, bro! hehehe...jk

 

[dh girlie]

There is a homeless guy that hangs around the retail area near my house and he rides a bmx bike and either wears a super man cape or a womans rabbit fur jacket...it's an odd red colored fur and it looks like it would fit an average sized woman...this guy is about 6'4" so it's like a short sleeved half jacket on him...he even wears it in the summer!

 

[llkoolkeg]

There is a homeless guy that hangs around the retail area near my house and he rides a bmx bike and either wears a super man cape or a womans rabbit fur jacket...it's an odd red colored fur and it looks like it would fit an average sized woman...this guy is about 6'4" so it's like a short sleeved half jacket on him...he even wears it in the summer!

Funny...I didn't realize any of the "Respect" guys were that tall.

 

[punkassean]

There is a homeless guy that hangs around the retail area near my house and he rides a bmx bike and either wears a super man cape or a womans rabbit fur jacket...it's an odd red colored fur and it looks like it would fit an average sized woman...this guy is about 6'4" so it's like a short sleeved half jacket on him...he even wears it in the summer!

I have developed a theory that homeless people and migrant farm workers are immune/oblivious to heat. They seem to be perfectly comfortable wearing multiple layers of otherwise stifling parkas/flannels/rabbit skin coats etc. in 85º+ weather with no ill affects. I would be sweatin' like ho in church if dressed like that!

 

[Clark Kent]

The dudes who are just plain lazy are a drag, but the other ones are a little scary. Most of us are 2 or three paychecks ahead of being on the street. It would be a drag to end up in that situation and not have a group of friends or family you could rely on for help if you REALLY needed it. Dealing with them in places like the bay area is just frikin ridiculous. I had the typical " buy the dude a few burgers and have him throw a fit cuz he wanted money" thing happen to me in frisco about 20 years ago. Fok that, but there is no reason kids should be on the street when the gov. subsidizes big corporations..... :dancing:

 

[dh girlie]

Preface:
I live in Berkeley, other cities send thier bums here be the city will accept them....

1. There's small table in the middle of People's Park, perfect for practicing things like 3's on. I'm out there one day practicing 3's and this bum starts yelling at me. I tell him to **** off, he pulls out a screwdrive and threatens to stick me. I call up my buddy on UCPD, get his ass arrested, go back to jumping.

2. There's a olg dude that I've watched steadily decline over the last 4 years that lives in Berkeley. He was recently homeless when I came to Berkeley, so I didn't feel alot of symapthy (I'm from a well off community). Over the years I've watched him decline, and it hurts to watch that happen to someone who used to be proud. I'm officially poor now, about 2 steps above homeless actually, however whenever I see him, if I have any money at all, I take him out to dinner. I've probably taken him out to dinner about a dozen times over the last few years. Most recently I ran inot him and it was freezing and raining, down in the high 30's range and he only had one shoe and was shivering, trying to sing for money. He's lost his voice, so he wasn't making it very far. I've taken him out enough times that he recognizes me so when I started talking to him he told me that the place he had been living was torn down so he was roofless again. I took him back to my place that night, made him dinner, shower, shave, and let him crash in the basement as we have an extra bed there. I also gave him 3 coats, a few old pairs of pants that fit him, a razor and some hygine supplies, and some shoes. When I left for work, he was already up waiting to leave. He had cleaned the area he slept in up and even put the sheets into the wash. I havent seen him since I dropped him off that morning, I have since moved out of berkeley. However, When he got out of my car, he had his head up and he was smiling. I have a felling that it might have just been enough to give him that pull to get him back from the edge. I'll probably never know, but I guess that's just how it goes.

Damn...that brought a tear to my eye, Stoney...and here all along I heard you were this annoying a hole...

 

[pnj]

the worst are the punk kids who peg for change.

screw you kid, get a job. I got one.

If I have to work for my booze/habits so can you.

 

[dh girlie]

the worst are the punk kids who peg for change.

screw you kid, get a job. I got one.

If I have to work for my booze/habits so can you.

No sht...one day I was walkin around on Haight Street in SF doin the creep for the kind bud, and some healthy looking kid...wanna be hippy or something...is sitting on the sidewalk and he's all spare change? and I was like nope sorry...and I was drinking a diet coke from McDonalds (they have the BEST DC in the world...they must lace it with opium or something...) anyway...he's like well can I have your drink? I was like wtf...I can't even sip my damn soda without someone tryin to take it from me...punk ass bitches...

 

[llkoolkeg]

As if your 1 calorie diet coke were capable of sustaining his pitiable existence.

 

[Westy]

Damn...that brought a tear to my eye, Stoney...and here all along I heard you were this annoying a hole...

Have you passed judgment on everyone??

 

[pnj]

in my younger days I've bought 40's and drank w/ them before. (ok, only did that once and we got kicked out of the park by cops.)
then one of them decided he was going to go into the store and try and buy small stuff so he could get change for his food stamps to buy more booze (cuz the cops poured ours out). when the cashier wouldn't let him spend more then so much money (because he didn't want drunks hanging around) he decide to buy some weed w/ the food stamps.
but of course, he gets ripped off and ends up w/ a fat sack of actuall grass that grows in your lawn. then he tried to convince me to catch a bus to the suburbs so we could steal money out of the parked cars.....

I said I had to take a piss and walked down the street, never to return.


around here, they are professional bums. the make good money, so why get a job?

 

[dh girlie]

Have you passed judgment on everyone??

Not quite...

are you mad cuz I didn't jump on the Westy's so great bandwagon? HAHAHA...JK before you get your drawers in a wad...

 

[ADSfreeride]

When do I get the trophy for being douche bag of the universe? And as to the cOcksucker remark....no I don't but you could probably get a bum to do it for you. Try offering a bottle of fortified wine or a couple of nips of vodka.

Alot of these guys and gals choose to live this way. People try and help to no avail. The bums don't want jobs, they want a flippin' handout. What happens to you in life is in your hands. If they are on the streets it's most likely their own doing. I understand that sometimes things are out of our hands, but you have to rise above the situation and carry on.

Yes I did think some of the 's here would find the bum jump story funny. If it wasn't for you, oh well. Try not to let your bleeding heart kill you.

 

[Toshi]

one need not be a bleeding heart to find running over a bum not funny. besides, didn't you already tell that story a few months ago?

 

[pnj]

I too once hit a guy who was sleeping in a park. wasn't on purpose, I really knew better to jump this blind jump w/out checking it out first. I wrecked, he woke up and looked at me with wild eyes. I was young and scared, he was older, haggered and scary looking. I took off, fast.

 

[Westy]

Not quite...

are you mad cuz I didn't jump on the Westy's so great bandwagon? HAHAHA...JK before you get your drawers in a wad...

Not a problem, not at work anymore so I'm not even wearing my drawers.

 

[ADSfreeride]

Let me clear something up. I DID NOT intentionally hit him, I was merely trying to bunnyhop him. I would not intentionally run somebody over, unless they owed me money or called me a cOcksucker.
No I did not tell this story a few months ago. In the N,E. forum I was looking for monkies in the Boston area who were interested in riding. I only mentioned that maybe we could arrange a couple of " bum 4cross " races across the Commons.