[MikeD]

So I've decided it's time...when I return from New Zealand, it's time to propose to the ol' girlfriend. Actually really comfortable and not wound up about the decision; I think the time is right and I know it's going to be a good thing. Been together over 3 years now, living together for 2.

However, what has been making me nervous is the ring. It's a material item, but it's something that's going to need to last emotionally and aesthetically over a lifetime. And I know jack about jewelry, and she doesn't wear any...except until recently, when her grandmother died and willed her wedding ring to Steph. (Tiny thin white gold band only; wears it on her right hand at the moment.)

So she's very small, thin, blonde, blue eyed, and definitely not a conventional person. Not too outwardly showy in any way; tastes run towards Ikea and Volkswagen in terms of design. Wears tons of blue and some pink (usually hello kitty stuff...) Likes to sew and make her own clothes...creative and enjoys things with a personal bent. (except Ikea, I suppose...)

I think a regular old diamond ring isn't going to really be "her," or mean too much in a personal sense. I found a custom jewler in New Zealand who makes really good stuff, and I think I'll have him do a ring. What we've worked out is an 18k white gold (very white and chrome-shiny) band with a oval white star sapphire on top, set lengthwise to her finger, flanked by two really tiny clear blue sapphires in the band.

I think it's her...neutral, not sparkly, but with a really interesting depth to the stone, and some small accents in a color she loves-but small enough to be worn with any color. You can't see the blue unless you're close to the ring. (Star sapphire is a milky white which diffracts light into a star pattern, or several stars if there are several point light sources, inside the stone. It's NOT expensive, but I wouldn't be marrying a girl who cared about cost over aesthetics or meaning...) Overall design is streamlined and smooth and sort of retro-modern classic/audi-TT looking. I was thinking about colored stones for the main rock, but they're not right for a ring that has to be worn at all times.

Any thoughts from the peanut gallery? (besides "Don't do it!", heh) Would a simple diamond ring be classier or more appropriate? (She'll be getting the name "Diamond," so I don't think she needs the ring, too...)

I'm getting more comfy with this design as I think about it and write about it, but could REALLY use some advice. Thanks,

Mike

 

[Rip]

Either Emerald or Chocolate Doughnut.

 

[MikeD]

Emerald is cool...I was actually looking at New Zealand greenstone as my 1st choice, but it's really jade, and needs to be in big chunks to really look like anything. Emeralds are amazing, but I don't want anything so intensely colored on a ring that's to be worn 100% of the time. Plus, I like green, but it's not really her color anyhow.

If she could have a chocolate doughnut instead, she'd probably be very happy with it. Doughnuts are her favorite food, but she's been diagnosed with Celiac's disease, which means she can't eat wheat. Still searching for a reasonable gluten-free doughnut for her. There was a place called Spudnuts in Charlottesville...if they're 100% potato flour, she might be able to eat them...

MD

 

[Silver]

She's getting you...the ring is just a bonus.

On a serious note though, sounds like you've got it figured out. I was going to suggest a garnet when I saw pink, but then I read the rest. Just be aware that you're going to have to get the band replated eventually. But it's a hell of a lot cheaper than platinum.

 

[MikeD]

Stop talking like that-she'll get jealous.

See, the thing that worries me is the design of the ring itself...wish I could put up a scan of the drawing. For the star sapphire, it has to be set in a metal bezel, not a prong setting.

Half of me just says I should get a thin, generic, tiffany-style 6-prong ring with a really thin band and a small round cut diamond... simple and elegant, but certainly not that personal.

Why would the band need replacement? It's a pretty sturdy design. I could get platinum if the wear life of gold isn't long enough...$300-500 more now is sure going to be less than getting a new ring made down the line.

MD

 

[Silver]

No, not replacement. It will need to be replated. The rhodium coating on a white gold ring will eventually wear away. It's not something you're going to have to worry about too often unless you're future wife is pounding nails for a living. My wedding band is white gold, and it could stand to be replated, if I cared. My wife's ring still looks great after 4 years.

 

[Ciaran]

Sounds like a beautiful ring. I recently proposed to The GF, and got her a white gold ring with a blue sapphire center stone. She loved it. And as an everyday ring sapphires are perfect... they are second hardest on the MOHS scale after diamonds... Diamonds are a "10", and sapphires are a "9". (I learned a lot about sapphires during the buying process!) I went to Downtown Los Angeles, and got a super great price. If you're buying here in Cal, I advise a trip to downtown L.A.

I have heard most girls say the same... a nice ring is nice, but the important part is what it means. Go with your heart, yo. get her something that you feel is her, then take her to the cliffs there in O.B and propose... she'll either say, "yes", or throw you into the sea.

Congratulations!

 

[MikeD]

No, not replacement. It will need to be replated. The rhodium coating on a white gold ring will eventually wear away. It's not something you're going to have to worry about too often unless you're future wife is pounding nails for a living. My wedding band is white gold, and it could stand to be replated, if I cared. My wife's ring still looks great after 4 years.

Ah, the jewler isn't using a rhodium plating. The 18k white gold can be polished to a mirror-ish finish, and re-polished down the line. He said he'd plate it if I wanted, but we both agreed it wouldn't be best.

Been looking online, and now I'm wondering if a ring with a brilliant blue sapphire in the center wouldn't be better...hmmm...this is way too difficult, b/c she doesn't wear any jewelry, so I'll be damned if I know what she'd like in a ring.

I guess she'll like what I get her, heh.

Deciding whether to propose when I get off the plane and emotions are high but I'm smelly from the trip, or if I should wait, as Ciaran points out, for a more romantic moment. Sure would be a suprise in the airport...

MD

 

[H8R]

You want it to last? Titanium.

http://www.titaniumcommitment.com

http://www.boonerings.com

http://titaniumera.com/


You want it to REALLY last? Tungsten.

http://www.tungsten-rings.com/


This is my ti wedding ring (might replace w/ tungsten later):

 

[H8R]

From the Boone site:

Tungsten w/ white gold inlay

 

[MikeD]

I like that inlaid wedding ring...thanks for the links...

 

[H8R]

I like that inlaid wedding ring...thanks for the links...

BTW, tungsten is the hardest and heaviest of all metals.

 

[MikeD]

Heh, I know...used it in many a 25mm armor-piercing round.

(Until they start making depleted uranium rings, that is.)

 

[Silver]

Tungsten might be stupid heavy. I have a titanium watch I love, it's half as heavy as my steel one is. I should have thought about a ti ring...

 

[H8R]

You can say, "Hey I didn't know what you like in jewelry, but tungsten, made from Wolframite ore, can be made into some bad-ass bullets, so I went with that.."

Chick's love that romantic sh*t.

 

[TheInedibleHulk]

I need to find a really cool nerdy girl that will think that tungsten weddings rings are as cool as I do.

 

[Skookum]

Finally's getting married to the precious eh? :dancing:

Good luck on the proposal, i'd say no if i was her, but i'm sure she'll be less level headed than me. ink:

 

[Damn True]

She's getting you...the ring is just a bonus.

Showing your softer, more romantic side there m'lad.

 

[Damn True]

Very cool Mike.
I'm in the same position. I hope I am as able to be as insightful into the preferances of my sweetie as you seem to have been.

I'm diggin those tungsten rings.

 

[Buck Fever]

I need to find a really cool nerdy girl that will think that tungsten weddings rings are as cool as I do.

Hey, I found one of those! Actually, she doesn't think they're as cool as I do, but she indulged me and bought one for me. Still I think the equation is severily imbalanced...by a factor of 23.5.

Going to miss you at the reception. you'll have to come visit in Portland

 

[Buck Fever]

Mike,

Congrats on the decision. I proposed last year and our wedding is in three weeks.

If your sweetie likes the silver color, definitely give platinum and titanium a consideration. They both wear longer than gold, and generally won't cause a skin reaction. Gold it alloyed with Nickel which can cause problems for some people and is usually won't show for a while. I have some friends who had allergic reactions to their white gold bands and had to purchase platinum ones within just a few months.

The markup on jewelry is absurd. From what I learned, the typical tiffany settings are purchased in pieces (a ring and a basket and post) and fused by the jeweler. There's nothing wrong with them, but like you said, they're not that personal. They literally have hundreds of choices of stock rings and baskets and the surprising part of it is their cost...between $30 and $150 for the set. They'll then turn around and sell that $30 ring for $500-$600. That's quite a mark-up.

If you can swing it, find a local smith who has some of their own "stock" rings that you can choose from. They're generally more expensive (as might be expected) but my experience with our local smith has been wonderful and he had a wedding band that he made that fit perfectly with the unique engagement ring I bought my fiancee (from another place).

Good luck.

 

[Mackie]

This is my ti wedding ring (might replace w/ tungsten later):

Hey, that's my ring too. Great, now H8R & I are married.

 

[mack]

I like this ring, it looks like a headset spacer, or a cut piece of head tube.

Or make a trip to China town where you can get real wedding rings for a low mark up of about 100 bucks. Like some one already mentioned, the markup is pretty big.

 

[ell bee]

So, I agree that you should try out Platinum or Titanium for the strength and It would still look good with her Grandmother's ring. As for the rocks...you were asying you wanted something personal...I'd hope so. Here's what my brother did. Diamond in the center and on either side, a small stone, each of the stones on the side...one each of their birthstones, a Ruby and a Sapphire. It brought a lot of "personal" to the ring and even though it has some color, it is beautiful, she wears it all the time, it doesn't distract people, but it catches attention, then it becomes a conversation piece about the two of you. Every time someone askes she'll get to talk about you!

The part you want to make sure about is, if she rides...make sure it's really low profile, something she won't have to worry about knocking on a branch as she goes by a tree and that will fit comfortably under her gloves.

Those are my thoughts. Congratulations. And good luck with the shopping!

 

[psycle-on]

I got Tammy something similar to this:

It has held up really well and still looks as good as the day I bought it. She rides and has had no problem with it snagging or hitting things.
That ring came from Titanium Era and our bands came from Boone and we had good service with both places. Titanium seems to be an awesome material except for one thing, you need to have it sized exactly right the first time because there really is no way to resize it easily.

Good luck and have fun with choosing something!

 

[DRB]

At this point I'd go with your orginial idea for the ring. You put thought and effort into getting it right. If you spend too much time overanalyzing you'll f' it up.

Deciding whether to propose when I get off the plane and emotions are high but I'm smelly from the trip, or if I should wait, as Ciaran points out, for a more romantic moment. Sure would be a suprise in the airport...

Man right off the plane would be a pretty cool thing. Drop your stuff, get the big hug and kiss, drop to a knee right there in the middle of the airport. Does it need to be more romantic than that or should I say does it get more romantic than that?

The funny thing about my proposal was that I never really asked, at least in comprehensible english. I planned and practiced my little speech but when it was time I locked up, couldn't get my arms and hands to work right, dropped the box and have pretty much blacked the rest out except for the yes.

Good luck with all of it. When you get it right....... well its right.

 

[TreeSaw]

At this point I'd go with your orginial idea for the ring. You put thought and effort into getting it right. If you spend too much time overanalyzing you'll f' it up.

Man right off the plane would be a pretty cool thing. Drop your stuff, get the big hug and kiss, drop to a knee right there in the middle of the airport. Does it need to be more romantic than that or should I say does it get more romantic than that?

The funny thing about my proposal was that I never really asked, at least in comprehensible english. I planned and practiced my little speech but when it was time I locked up, couldn't get my arms and hands to work right, dropped the box and have pretty much blacked the rest out except for the yes.

Good luck with all of it. When you get it right....... well its right.

I'm with DRB on this one. Your original idea sounds beautiful (although I would probably look into titanium for the band as well, but I think that's cool). Also, off the plane sounds romantic too me. It will definately be memorable

Don't work up a huge speech (unless that's you). Sq-Earl had it all planned out too and then it it all changed...but I still said yes :love:

 

[golgiaparatus]

Heres what I can tell you. When you go shopping for a ring, the seller is going to be ALL ABOUT the diamond quality. Clarity, cut, color, etc. Remember the only one that matters to the naked eye and that is color. So unless your fiancee breaks out a microscope she wont be able to tell the difference between a 1k diamond that cost $1000 or a 1k diamond that cost $10,000. So basically you could buy a 1k diamond with several flaws that are unnoticable to the naked eye and get it for the same price as a flawless 1/4k diamond... and I guarentee she'll be more impressed with a giant rock than she will with a flawless pebble.

With that said, stay the fuhk away from the big dealers, they are WAY more expensive than a small custom shop. With a small custom shop you can choose the style of ring you want and have them make just about anything for under what the big places sell their mass produced rings for... and they can do it in a few days as opposed to a few weeks.

Anyway, thats about it... needless to say I've done this before.

 

[binary visions]

Uhh.. Golgi... In regards to the diamond advice... Didja read the thread, or did you just read the thread title and respond?

 

[H8R]

Hey, that's my ring too. Great, now H8R & I are married.

Sweet.

Go wash my socks and get me a beer.

ink:

 

[Mackie]

Sweet.

Go wash my socks and get me a beer.

ink:

Sorry, drank all the beer.
Oh, and wash you own f**in' socks.

And this is nearly a direct quote from my wife...... :heart:

 

[binary visions]

Oh, yeah, and on topic:

MikeD, congrats to you on your decision. Don't second guess yourself too much - you've clearly put some thought into the ring and considered what your girlfriend will like. You know best, not us, and I'm sure she'll love it - and love it all the more because you put that much effort into it.

Remember, you're giving it to her, but it's representitive of you, too.

 

[pixelninja]

To expand on what BV wrote:

You don't need to ask us what SHE would like. You know her better than anyone here (at least, I HOPE you know her better than anyone here). Are you absolutely sure that she wouldn't want a traditional diamond? My wife is a bit unconventional and had said that she didn't need any diamonds, but she flipped (in a good way) when I proposed with a diamond engagement ring.

I'm not saying you should or shouldn't go with diamonds or sapphires or whatever. You probably know her very well and she'll probably be overjoyed to get this awesome ring you've described (it does sound really nice). What I'm saying is go with your gut instinct and don't look back. Or, if you're really not sure, go into stealth mode and see if you can get the answer out of her without spilling the beans. Don't take the advice of a bunch of Monkeys on what we think she'd want. That's your job.

I think one of the reasons that my wife loved the ring I bought her was because I picked it out all by myself. It showed her that I knew her well enough and I was confindent I could do something of that magnatude and get it right.

Good luck.

 

[H8R]

Don't work up a huge speech (unless that's you). Sq-Earl had it all planned out too and then it it all changed...but I still said yes :love:

I proposed in front of about 75 of our friends on her birthday, right after cake.

She HAD to say yes. (or I woulda been owned)

 

[Atomic Dog]

I got Tammy something similar to this:

you need to have it sized exactly right the first time because there really is no way to resize it easily.

QUOTE]

So how do you go about buying a ti engagement ring for somebody if it needs to be the right size first time around?

 

[SkaredShtles]

My wife and I were both unemployed and traveling Europe for the summer when we dropped in on Antwerp and got an engagement ring. Nice, simple little "traditional" engagement ring. And I know she'll never bug me to "upgrade" because of the history behind getting it.

If she likes the traditional thing I'd say don't go huge and gaudy. Unless she likes huge and gaudy.

-S.S.-

 

[H8R]

I got Tammy something similar to this:

you need to have it sized exactly right the first time because there really is no way to resize it easily.

QUOTE]

So how do you go about buying a ti engagement ring for somebody if it needs to be the right size first time around?

If it's a tension setting like that one, they can braze a "sizing wire" into the interior of the ring to size it down. If it's too small, your kinda fooked.

Standard rings can be sized up 1/4 size or so. (I'm getting my wedding band sized upward next week)

 

[binary visions]

So how do you go about buying a ti engagement ring for somebody if it needs to be the right size first time around?

I know my girlfriend's ring size and I'm not even shopping for rings, nor have I bought her one previously.

Most girls are pretty willing to share that information...

 

[Ciaran]

<snip>The markup on jewelry is absurd..

So, so true! If you are in a major metropolitan area you may be able to find a "jewelry district" like Los Angeles has... you'll find wholesalers and manufacturers with much lower prices. Had I gone to a conventional jewelry store I could not have afforded the ring I bought for the GF. The markup on jewelry is insane! Something like 300% or more, I have heard.

Those titanium and tungsten rings are super sweet. We went with white gold,and it looks awsome. So shiny! so, so precious!

 

[SkaredShtles]

So, so true! If you are in a major metropolitan area you may be able to find a "jewelry district" like Los Angeles has... you'll find wholesalers and manufacturers with much lower prices.

Absolutely great advice. And for the best prices, go straight to the source - Antwerp, Belgium. The money you save can be better spent on: