[Westy]

About a year ago a good friend of mine mentioned he was put on anti-depressants. He and his wife were going through a bit of a rough spot. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but I have spent a lot of time with them and their families. They fight and bicker constantly over really stupid stuff, and get really butt-hurt over it. The reality is that when it comes to their relationship they are stuck with the same emotional maturity they had when they met at the age of 19. My opinion is that they just need to act their ages and grow the fuck up, but I am sure I don't know all of it. Anyway they went to a marriage councilor, and as a result my friend started on anti-depressants.

After that I noticed some strange behavior. He just talks constantly, about the most inane things. He interrupts people constantly while changing the subject. He acts really disconnected with those around him but is constantly engaging them verbally. After the first few times noticing this I mentioned that he was acting weird, and described what he was doing. He dismissed it and said if he drinks too much coffee with the anti-depressants he gets really amped up and hyper. Is this normal?

Dude was one of my best friends and now I can't stand being around him, and pretty sure the medication has a lot to do with it. I am a little concerned that it might be more than anti-depressants. One of their kids has severe ADD and there is a large supply of adderall and other potentially abused stimulants.

 

[jonKranked]

anti-depressants can have a lot of weird side effects. without knowing what exactly he's on, it's hard to say.

 

[Toshi]

Sounds as if he might have been pushed a little far over on the manic spectrum.

 

[dan-o]

Needs meds adjusted most likely.
It's not likely they nailed it on first attempt.

My schitzo brother has gone through all kinds of wild swings while they dialed in the meds.
Problem is that the patient often can't tell whats going on but their willingness/awareness is necessary for change to happen.
Takes a strong will to deal with the crazy but I'd encourage you to speak with his loved ones and try to see if they can get the message across to him or his Dr.

 

[binary visions]

Definitely sounds like he's floating towards the manic side, having a family member who is manic depressive.

The thing is there's really no such thing as "normal" side effects. The medications affect brain chemistry and can affect people in significantly different ways. If you're close with him you might want to discuss the changes you're seeing (if the last discussion was more of a flippant, "hey you seem different") since the doc can't adjust the meds unless he knows something is wrong, and your friend might not be forthcoming with that information.

IMO, depression is one of the hardest diseases you can deal with in terms of inter-personal relationships. At least when someone is an asshole, you can be mad at them.

 

[Pesqueeb]

I have some brief experience with this. During my stay in hospital after my accident I was put on an anti-depressant called Lexapro and remained on it for what I guess now was about 8 months. I absolutely hated every second of it and would not recommend it to any one, for any reason. I consider the time I was on that drug to be the absolute low point of my accident and recovery, and this was a time in my life with a lot, of low points.

You mention being disconnected, fuck yes. From literally every type of emotion or feeling. It wasn't that I didn't recognize that, hey, in this situation I should be angry, or in this situation I should find this funny, or that I should be sympathetic to this person for this reason, because at some point , though it probably took being called out by my wife and some matter of time, I did. I just could not give a shit. It was literally one of the most difficult things I could do, to recognize the situation, and even pretend to put on an empathetic face. I've read that one of the most difficult things for people with aspergers or autism to do is pick up social cues, or relate to others, and that's how I felt while taking that particular drug. There was a part of me that felt like it was literally locked away in a box, able to witness and hear everything going on, but completely incapable of reacting to it.

All of this isn't to say that some people might not need some chemical help, because despite my overwhelmingly negative experience, I do believe that some people might. I happen to work with a guy whose wife is severely epileptic. She had what amounted to a partial lobotomy in an attempt to help manage her seizures. She was put on Lexapro afterwards and they both have noting but good things to say about how it helped her. I'm not a doctor, but I suppose this is just part of how individuals react to certain drugs, and that perhaps my experience on a different anti-depressant might have been totally different.

I would only suggest approaching this with the most sympathy you can muster for this poor SOB. That's not to say that at some point you might not need to cut your losses, because it might come to that. I found my self in a place where I had to make the decision that something needed to change, because while that drug might have prevented my from having a full on rager and killing someone(s) and/or myself, it also meant that I was "missing" everything that was positive for me as well. Perhaps your friend just needs a different drug, or no drugs and a therapist. That's what worked for me. YMMV.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Also, I concur with BV in the strongest of terms. If this is someone you're close with, you need to have a frank discussion. In hindsight I can recall several people from work making passing comments, but I was never hard cornered in a concerned manner.

 

[imp]

Just want to add that all of the different types of meds do different things, and different people react differently. I've been going through this with my girlfriend for awhile, and all you can do is be sympathetic and open. If current meds aren't working then try something else, or a different dose or a mix. People have to find the sweet spot to get the most out of them, otherwise they can be worse off than before. Also the right drug or right dose might drift and stop working as well, it's a complicated disease with no easy fix.

Remember it is a disease, and be supportive. That doesn't mean his marriage is salvageable, or even a good idea, hell who knows. I just mean in your relationship with him try to understand that if you're healthy you almost can't understand what he feels. It's taken me a long time to figure that out.

 

[Westy]

I spoke with him about it once. I tried not to be flippant about the issue, I asked him if he was feeling alright and was worried about him. When he first brought up the fact about the medication he questioned his own need for it, he stated he didn't feel depressed but a little stressed out from work/family. Life can be tough and make you feel bad but there is a difference between shit happening and having a medical issue. His wife is a bit of a hypochondriac who seems to get scrips filled for the most trivial issues. I cannot help but to think she dragged him there and got him drugged up.

It isn't just me who has noticed this. He used to be a universally likable individual. Other friends have stated that they now avoid him at all costs.

 

[binary visions]

Just a small comment on 'squeeb's post, which he acknowledged but I wanted to highlight:

Some people have terrible reactions to different types of drugs. Despite all of the medical research, we really know very little about exactly how many mental disorders come about and how to treat them. Much of the treatment of depression comes down to experimentation with different types of medications to help balance out the patient.

There are a lot of people who have experiences like "I tried X anti-depressant and it was the most horrible year of my life." I'd suggest that's a breakdown of the system, though. You shouldn't be on a depression medication that makes you miserable for a year. This should be a working process, and if something doesn't work, it should be adjusted. It shouldn't be assumed that anti-depressants are the devil and only to be used as an absolute last resort. They're just complicated and problematic, which means you don't hand someone a prescription and tell them you'll see 'em in 6 months.

Just my experience, but I think a lot of problems come from GPs flippantly prescribing anti-depressants to people. These are serious medications that fuck with your brain chemistry and should not be treated lightly. I personally think they should only be prescribed in the care of a psychiatrist who can help work through potential negative effects and adjust the medications accordingly.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

Anti-depressants should be used to treat imbalances in brain chemistry, not for temporary situational types of stress and related depression. Like BV said, a lot of doctors will prescribe them at the drop of a hat. They constantly deal with patients who only want a pill to fix what ails them and are not willing to put forth any effort in being proactive in their own treatment. And as well intending as most med care professionals are, they will keep giving you the meds.

It's easy to write friends off when they become too burdensome. But you owe it to him and yourself to at least make an attempt to get him some help. Then if he refuses, then there is nothing else you can do.

 

[Westy]

I need to introduce him to Dr Beer.

What makes this a little more difficult is the fact that very few of my friends like each other so I can't really get help from others. His other close friend and I have an unspoken low level hatred for each other.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

Being a former barfly myself, I've encountered many regulars who would go off the deep end when they started mixing booze and anti-depressants.



A former studio neighbor who was an amazing painter did an entire show based on her experiences with antidepressants. One piece was about how sunlight was harmful to her when she was medicated. So she couldn't go out in the sun or risk becoming suicidal. Really fucked up stuff.

 

[ALEXIS_DH]

sounds like he is going thru hypomania.
being way too talkative is usually a sign of too many happy pills.
there are a lot of other weird side effects to antidepresants (from rashes to impotency), and you might be seeing only the most obvious one.

I´d suggest you to talk to him about visiting the dr and adjusting the medication. dont mix alcohol into the equation, until he comes down from the pills.