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Explaining Religious Psychosis

Pesqueeb

Pesqueeb

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Feb 2, 2007
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Riding past the morgue.
God himself created man and woman and placed them in a garden, in “his own image”, but got righteously angry at them when they ate, against his wish, and after being tempted by a talking serpent that god himself had somehow allowed to slither about in the garden, a tasty, beautiful fruit, though he himself had placed it there but neglected to instill in his creations the knowledge of good and evil so that they would know it was wrong to eat it. Being omniscient, of course, he knew all this before he started, but was apparently unable to do anything about it because he had planned it this way from the beginning, and apparently god cannot change anything he already knows, in spite of the fact that he’s omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent.

Later, God himself impregnated a virgin so that he himself could be born a human, a ManGod. This was necessary, apparently, because only his own ManGod blood could appease himself and deliver humans, who he created, and who he knew would muck things up by eating the fruit, from his own righteous anger.

Of course, he waited several thousand years to implement this divine plan, in the meantime taking the righteous action of drowning every creature on the planet except a few he could stuff on a boat. Not to mention handing down a Law that served to further condemn every one of us, and in which Law he himself had them frequently sacrifice animals to appease himself, though he knew the blood of animals didn't really appease himself.

Much later, god, in a garden, prayed to himself to “take this cup” away from himself, though he himself knew that he himself had planned the coming events from the beginning and knew that not even he himself could save himself, even though he was god and omnipotent, omniscient, etc. Accepting this, he said, in effect, “Not my will, but my will.”

God then sacrificed himself to himself to save us from himself. (or had himself sacrificed; not much of a distinction between the two, really) Before dying, he himself asked he himself why he had forsaken himself.

He himself, being dead, then raised himself from the dead less than 40 hours later, though he himself had said he’d be dead for three days and three nights, which he could do because he was still alive, and later he himself pulled himself up into heaven where he himself apparently already was, and where he himself is described as now sitting at the right hand of himself.

He himself then sent himself (or a ghost of himself, if you please) back to earth to be a comfort to us, though he himself is still sitting at the right hand of himself.

And, glory hallelujah, he himself promised that he himself will return someday, though he himself is already here, and will still be there, to snatch up those who believe the god blood sacrifice story he himself told us, and kill the rest of us who don’t believe the god blood sacrifice story, no matter how nice we were otherwise. But, since killing us isn't enough to appease his righteousness, he himself will then judge us, though according to ManGod he himself will also not judge us, and being a god of love will cast most of us into hell for an eternity of suffering. He has to, of course, because he is a righteous, just god, and can’t figure out a way to save anyone who hasn't been redeemed by god-blood, even though he is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent, and loves us all.
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Andyman_1970

Andyman_1970

Turbo Monkey
Apr 4, 2003
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"If it was holy before it must be double-holy afterwards"...............WTF!!!!

Maybe they should read the book of the Bible Song of Songs, with references to all sorts of sexual fun with your spouse. Weddings in Jesus day started with the bride and groom consumating their union with the whole party waiting outside for them to finish. This is yet another fine example of "Christians" being what I can only describe as willfully ignorant of the Bible and the history that surrounds it.

While this is ignorant on multiple levels, I'd be curious as to their reasoning if anything so I could punch giant holes in it..........LOL
 
Andyman_1970

Andyman_1970

Turbo Monkey
Apr 4, 2003
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The Natural State
One a cynical side note:

Dollars for doughnuts she was brought up that sex between husband and wife is "dirty" and is scared to death.............and he has a HUGE porn problem.
 
JohnE

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,562
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Front Range, dude...
Or he likes men...

"Weddings in Jesus day started with the bride and groom consumating their union with the whole party waiting outside for them to finish"

I tell you what, they would have waited a glorious 11 seconds for me baby, all the way!
 
jonKranked

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
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media blackout
JohnE said:
Or he likes men...

"Weddings in Jesus day started with the bride and groom consumating their union with the whole party waiting outside for them to finish"

I tell you what, they would have waited a glorious 11 seconds for me baby, all the way!
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i don't get the potato part.
 
AngryMetalsmith

AngryMetalsmith

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Jun 4, 2006
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Andyman_1970 said:
While this is ignorant on multiple levels, I'd be curious as to their reasoning if anything so I could punch giant holes in it..........LOL
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Andyman_1970 said:
One a cynical side note:

Dollars for doughnuts she was brought up that sex between husband and wife is "dirty" and is scared to death.............and he has a HUGE porn problem.
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More like he didn't tell her he has herpes until they were married and she is rightfully scared.

As backed up as any good repressed Christian nut job can be, he'll blow her head off like Old Faithful erupting a life time worth of sexual frustration if she ever blows him.
 
Andyman_1970

Andyman_1970

Turbo Monkey
Apr 4, 2003
3,105
5
The Natural State
^^^^I wonder if there is also a coorelation with obesity??

It's no wonder those things are higher in a community that says all you have to do is pray and say "I'm sorry" and you still get to go to Six Flags over Jesus in the sky.
 
AngryMetalsmith

AngryMetalsmith

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Andyman_1970 said:
^^^^I wonder if there is also a coorelation with obesity??

It's no wonder those things are higher in a community that says all you have to do is pray and say "I'm sorry" and you still get to go to Six Flags over Jesus in the sky.
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:rofl:

My aunt, a religious brood mare with multiple preacher offspring, is so fat that she has to use a scooter to get around. And on several occasions has fallen and had to have the local fire department come out to hoist her off the ground. But I'm sure she thinks she'll be skinny once she gets to heaven.
 
syadasti

syadasti

i heart mac
Apr 15, 2002
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File under obvious: Current popular mythology is also a myth.

http://uk.prweb.com/releases/2013/10/prweb11201273.htm

American Biblical scholar Joseph Atwill will be appearing before the British public for the first time in London on the 19th of October to present a controversial new discovery: ancient confessions recently uncovered now prove, according to Atwill, that the New Testament was written by first-century Roman aristocrats and that they fabricated the entire story of Jesus Christ. His presentation will be part of a one-day symposium entitled "Covert Messiah" at Conway Hall in Holborn (full details can be found at http://www.covertmessiah.com).
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AngryMetalsmith

AngryMetalsmith

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syadasti said:
GOD GRAVEYARD
Here lie the graves of thousands of dead gods.
Once worshiped by entire civilizations, now only myths.
How much longer will the god(s) of today last?
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I find it kind of funny that a group has been formed in opposition of religious worshipers and even funnier that Agnostics are welcome. Because, unless I'm mistaken, Agnostics don't really care too much about God or religion, certainly not enough to attend a meeting.



Probably brought to you by the same people who tried to organize an Anarchists meeting but became frustrated at the poor turnout.
 
Jm_

Jm_

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Jan 14, 2002
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Most of the agnostics in our atheist group seem to be stuck on the "something had to create the universe" question. It's not that they don't care, they just seem to be somewhat confused/unsure.

I also don't like labeling atheism as a "religion" or categorizing it as such by giving it "equal consideration" with religions. If you have 5 religions you have to give atheism the same amount of time as it took to explain those 5 religions to be fair, not equal segments for each one, because it's not an "alternative", it's "nothing", it's not a "belief". Unfortunately, many are leaning towards categorizing it as a religion at this time.
 
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