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Famous Simpsons quotes

Threepointtwo

Monkey
Jun 21, 2002
632
0
SLC, UT
Dr. Hibbert: "If you want him to live through the night, I suggest you roll him onto his stomach" leaves...

opens the door "remember, I said IF"
 

grubenz

Chimp
Mar 10, 2002
5
0
Lynn, MA
Moe opens up his family resturaunt.
Uncle Moe's Family Feed Bag

Ralph: (Squirts Moe with squirt gun) hahaha
Moe: Hey Kid, What the hell are you doing!!!
Ralph: (crying) waa waa
Moe: Oh, ah, sorry, the sound of childrens laughter goes thru me like a dentist drill. But that was good, i like that, the way you took my dignity away like that.

(a little later)

Little girl: Uncle Moe, my sodie is too cold and it makes my teeth hurt.
Moe: awwww, your sodie is too cold and it makes your teeth hurt, WELL THATS TOO FRIGGIN BAD!!
 

Lucee

govenor
Jan 16, 2002
284
0
nor cal
Originally posted by bibs
Im not sure if anyone said this already, but....

"My kittys mouth smells like cat food":D

"My cat's breath smells like cat food", I'm almost positive that's the line.

Ooooh! An avatar, I bet someone feels special.:p



And, who could forget the episode where Homer eats the guatamelan chili pepper & goes on an epic self discovery?? (I prolly already quoted that in this thread....)
 

Yahoo

Chimp
Jul 14, 2002
6
0
Davis, CA
Looking at a picture of a Unicorn in space....

Warden: Look at this, what's he breathing I ask you.
Homer: Air
Warden: Ain't no air in space.
Homer: There's an air in space museum
 

grubenz

Chimp
Mar 10, 2002
5
0
Lynn, MA
ooohhh, Just remembered a good one.


Bart and Millhouse take over running the Comic shop from the comic book guy

Ralph is begging bart to let him into the porno section of the store. Bart gives in and lets him go.


Ralph: "Everyones Hugging"
 
Mar 11, 2002
33
0
MA
my favorite thing home did was got a computer, and saw the "Tab" key and kept hitting it thinking a "Tab Soda" would come out
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Originally posted by steve
That had a classic on last night. The town is stuck in a snow storm and the school is snowed in. All the kids are tired of Principal Skinner's orders so they tie him up and put him in a dodge ball bag in the gym.

In the end, Nibbles The Hamster comes to the rescue and saves the school. Skinner is still tied up in the bag and he says to Nibbles, "Nibbles, chew through my ball-sack!" in order to get him free.

Oh man, brings a tear to my eye everytime!
That one was on last night...hysterical....
 

Threepointtwo

Monkey
Jun 21, 2002
632
0
SLC, UT
I just remembered it. From the Marge goes bowling episode:

HOMER: I'm going out to my car with the woman I love and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES!
 

Joe Pozer

Mullet Head
Aug 22, 2001
673
0
Redwood City
Mr. Burns: Hurl this (pudding) at THAT (lenny)
Homer: At Lenny, but he's a war hero!
Mr. Burns: Well lets decorate him, then.
Homer: No!
Mr. Burns: Not even for... four dollars!?

Homer: :hurls it:

Lenny: Ow! My eye, I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
Mr. Burns: Ahaha, that was capital! My lung is aching.
Homer: I like when I threw the pudding!
Mr. Burns: Do it again! I'll make it an even eight.

Homer: You're the boss :hurls another:
Lenny: Ow! I'm in hell!

Mr. Burns: Let's keep the laugh's coming eh, Simpson? Let's say I make you my executive in charge of recreation. No, better yet.. my prank monkey!


Homer: Will you keep giving me money?
Mr. Burns: I can't have my little monkey running around in rags!
Homer: Woohoo! :hurls another pudding, at Carl:
Carl: HEY!
Mr. Burns: What are you doing, man!? That's Carl!
 

Lucee

govenor
Jan 16, 2002
284
0
nor cal
Originally posted by dh girlie


That one was on last night...hysterical....
Same episode:


When Homer & Ned get stuck under the snowdrift trying to rescue them, & they get carbon monoxide poisoning. Homer starts dreaming about having a harem, and he says:"Hand me my ranch hose". Ha!! A ranch hose!?!?! Hehheheheheeh.
Guess it's my love of ranch that makes it so funny.


Hey Joe, you think if you keep saying this should be a sticky, it will automatically become one?:p
 

Joe Pozer

Mullet Head
Aug 22, 2001
673
0
Redwood City
Originally posted by Lucee


Same episode:


When Homer & Ned get stuck under the snowdrift trying to rescue them, & they get carbon monoxide poisoning. Homer starts dreaming about having a harem, and he says:"Hand me my ranch hose". Ha!! A ranch hose!?!?! Hehheheheheeh.
Guess it's my love of ranch that makes it so funny.


Hey Joe, you think if you keep saying this should be a sticky, it will automatically become one?:p

hahaha...that episode was hilarious...
Homer cut the roof off Ned's house and put it in front of his car to make it a snowplow.


lol...well, I figure that if I keep badgering people about making this a sticky they will eventually get tired of it and either make it a sticky or get rid of me.
But in the meantime I keep bringing the thread back to the top to keep myself amused.
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Originally posted by Lucee


Same episode:


When Homer & Ned get stuck under the snowdrift trying to rescue them, & they get carbon monoxide poisoning. Homer starts dreaming about having a harem, and he says:"Hand me my ranch hose". Ha!! A ranch hose!?!?! Hehheheheheeh.
Guess it's my love of ranch that makes it so funny.


Hey Joe, you think if you keep saying this should be a sticky, it will automatically become one?:p
one of the halloween reruns was on last night...one that I LOVE because it has a very obscure Brady Bunch reference...

Jan was lying to her family about having a boyfriend...she says when asked if she has a bf, yes I have a bf! and Carol says...what's his name...and she says GEORGE! and Carol says George what? And she looks around and sees a glass on the counter and says GEORGE GLASS!

Well on the simpsons last night...Lisa and Bart are in the witches house from Hansel and Gretel, and they are ripping on the witch and one of them says...you probably don't even have a boyfriend...and she goes yes I do! and Lisa says what's his name...and she goes uhh...GEORGE...and Lisa says George what? and the witch looks around and sees her cauldron on the fire and says GEORGE CALDRON!

Being the biggest Brady fan...I caught that right away!!!

Second part of the episode...when the dolfins take over springfield...hysterical...
 

Joe Pozer

Mullet Head
Aug 22, 2001
673
0
Redwood City
Originally posted by dh girlie


one of the halloween reruns was on last night...one that I LOVE because it has a very obscure Brady Bunch reference...

Well on the simpsons last night...Lisa and Bart are in the witches house from Hansel and Gretel, and they are ripping on the witch and one of them says...you probably don't even have a boyfriend...and she goes yes I do! and Lisa says what's his name...and she goes uhh...GEORGE...and Lisa says George what? and the witch looks around and sees her cauldron on the fire and says GEORGE CALDRON!

Being the biggest Brady fan...I caught that right away!!!

Second part of the episode...when the dolfins take over springfield...hysterical...
The funniest thing was the fact that George Caldron turned out to be real.
 

Toshi

Harbinger of Doom
Oct 23, 2001
38,029
7,549
Originally posted by Joe Pozer

hahaha...that episode was hilarious...
Homer cut the roof off Ned's house and put it in front of his car to make it a snowplow.
Ah, my sweet challamala. Honk! :D
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,092
1,132
NC
When Homer's driving the car with the roof strapped to the front.. and he slams into something..

Flanders: "I think we hit something."
Homer: "Hey, maybe it's Flanders!"

And then:

(Homer daydreaming about his ranch dressing hose)
Flanders: "HOMER! The car is filling up with-"
Homer: "I know! Ranch dressing!"

Ahh.. Great episode.. "Quick Nibbles, chew through my ball sack!" (as has been posted)..

Oh! "You can't slap your Willie around any more!"
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Originally posted by Joe Pozer


The funniest thing was the fact that George Caldron turned out to be real.
I know...it was an hysterical reference...if you're a Brady fan!

When Lisa was going to release the dolfin and she opened the gate to the pool leading to the ocean...the alarms sounded and the security guys were like...he's getting away! shoot (kill?) him!
 

oldfart

Turbo Monkey
Jul 5, 2001
1,206
24
North Van
Homer's brain: " Use reverse psychology"

Homer: "That'll never work"

Homer's brain: "OK don't use reverse psychology"

Homer : " That's it I'll do it"

Or

Homer to Bart: You didn't catch gay didja boy? Didja?
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Anyone catch the 10:00 episode last night where Marge sets up a play date for Bart to play with Ralph...

Ralph shows bart his sand box and says something like:

This is my sandbox...but I'm not allowed in the deep end...that's where I saw the leprechaun...he told me to burn things...

That was SO funny...lots of good Ralph quotes in that episode!
 

SpasticJack

Monkey
Feb 25, 2002
344
0
"Burn 'em Ralph, burn 'em all"

"Mrs. Hoover, I ate all my paste, can I have some more?" "No Ralph, just put your head down and go to sleep" "Oooh sleep, that's when I'm a viking"

"I am about to die without ever touching a human girl..."

"Furious George, what have they done to your beautiful face?"

"Homer, what are we doing at a gay steel mill?" "HOT STUFF coming through!!"

"There's neery an animal alive that can escape a greased Scotsman"
 

Joe Pozer

Mullet Head
Aug 22, 2001
673
0
Redwood City
From the episode in which Mr. Burns steals a trillion dollar bill and the Feds are after him...He flies to Cuba and Castro suckers him out of the money. He has to return to American in a raft where he has to face a jury...




"Well, if it’s a crime to love one’s country, then I’m guilty. And if it’s a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I’m guilty of that, too. And if it’s a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I’ll soon be guilty of that! "
 

pnj

Turbo Monkey till the fat lady sings
Aug 14, 2002
4,696
40
seattle
homer quotes~
In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women!

Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!

Oh look at me !!! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, with a gumdrop house on lollipop lane! Oh by the way ... I was being sarcastic.
 

DH Diva

Wonderwoman
Jun 12, 2002
1,808
1
How about the episode where Homer gets sent to the religious mission (as a missionary) because he prank pledged money to a telethon??

Bart: Homer, are you licking toads?

Homer: I'm not, not licking toads.
 

Joe Pozer

Mullet Head
Aug 22, 2001
673
0
Redwood City
Chief Wiggum watching an Infomercial


Infomercial: But how will I remember all those numbers? Well, scientists have discovered that even monkeys can memorize ten numbers. Are you stupider than a monkey?

Chief Wiggum: How big of a monkey?