[Joe Pozer]

Lisa: "What did you get this fruit basket for?"
Homer: "Pushing Mr. Burns out of a third story window."
Bart: "Makes sense to me."
Lisa: "Is he dead?"
Homer: "What am I, a doctor?"

 

[Trail Bum]

I like the comment Homer makes to Marge about other men who have flat stomach's. "Look, they have abs like six-pac's and all I have is this keg!"

 

[Lucee]

Last night's episode:

Homer: I can't remember crying like this.
Lisa: When you put your t-shirt on backwards?
Homer: Yeah, the tag was scratching my throat.

Ha! Good times, glad I told work that I can't work sundays.....

 

[Joe Pozer]

Episode in which Willie is a substitute teacher for a French class and greets the students in his own sensitive way

Willie: "Bonjour, you cheese-eatin' surrender-monkeys."

 

[Trail Bum]

Hey, Now thats something you don't see in the toilet everyday.

 

[dh girlie]

The 'Behind the Laughter' episode where they did the documentary on the Simpson's behind the scenes in real life...they were super rich...and Marge says:

We used fifty dollar bills for toilet paper...and regular toilet paper for dog toilet paper...

 

[Joe Pozer]

Troy McLure: "You might remember me from such self-help videos as ‘Smoke yourself thin’ or ‘Get confidence stupid!’"

 

[Joe Pozer]

Homer at a Baseball game

Homer: "Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right- no, the duty- to make a complete ass of myself."

 

[Tweek]

Homer after eating a fertility pill:

"Mmmmmmmm. Ov-u-licious."

 

[dh girlie]

Anyone have anything to add???

 

[Echo]

Originally posted by dh girlie
Anyone have anything to add???

I don't have the patience to go through the thread and see if mine have already been posted

 

[dh girlie]

Originally posted by Echo
I don't have the patience to go through the thread and see if mine have already been posted

it's ok if it's double added....no one else has the patience to go through it either...go ahead echo...

 

[Echo]

Hmm...

"I don't like going outside Smithers, for one thing there's too many fat children."

"Lisa, never ever stop in the middle of a hoedown!"

"I gave my love a chicken, it had no bone... mmm... chicken"

"Ehhh I could pull a better cartoon outta my a... hey! Whoah! Wasn't that great kids?"

I'll have to think of more later

 

[powderboy]

I like it when Homer says, "Sweet merciful CRAP!"

And the episode when Mr. Burns is trying to suck up to Homer and then Homer says to himself, "Hmmm... is Mr. Burns coming onto me?"

Next in line is when the teachers go on strike, so the old folks teach the kids. The old guy responds to everything as. "That's a paddling." As he holds the paddle.

 

[Westy]

"Ooooo, a head bag. Those are chock full off headed goodness" -Apu

"Oops, lost a nail, well thats leprosy for you" - Burns

After Bart gets a labeling gun for his birthday
"Aww theres only one beer left and its Bart's" -Homer

 

[dh girlie]

The epidsode when Mr. Burns is dating that younger woman...and she rescues him from a burning house...

Probably not word for word, but here goes:

He's talking to Homer and he says, "I'm a bad boy, Simpson...perhaps I should grow one of those little devil beards...those goatie thingies...maybe the one without the mustache.

And then Bart says, are you talking about a soul patch?

 

[radioactiveman]

I have not have time to read them all but here is my fav:

Abu: "Damn you homer, Now get out of my store, and come back again." in classic abu accent...
all the while homer is practically dead on the floor with a stomic 10 times bigger.

And

Moe: "Now barney, No drinking out of the tap while I'm gone." as he walks out to kill the kid bart said was making the prank phone calls.

Barney: "ahh what a ya take me for a drunk or something... OOH somebody spilled some bear in this ash tray" as he slurps it up..

YUK....

 

[-BB-]

Originally posted by Joe Pozer
Troy McLure: "You might remember me from such self-help videos as ‘Smoke yourself thin’ or ‘Get confidence stupid!’"

Hi... i'm actor Troy McLure. You might remember me from such Drivers Ed films such as "The adventures of Larry Leadfoot" or "Alice's adventures through the winsheild."

Then they start showing stuff to scare the class straight.
Everyone is puking everywhere while homer is laughing his arse off.
Homer: "It's funny becauser it's not me"

 

[radioactiveman]

oh ya and of coarse, my all time fave,

the Radioactiveman episode where the town runs the movie producers dry....

I think bart says: "Watch out Radio active man".

about 30 times.....

or: Flanders: Hi diddly hoe neighbor:

Homer : "shut up flanders"

flanders: "okely dokely"

 

[Tweek]

After Milhaus' parents get divorced and Homer comes over to the dad's {Kurt's} bachelor apt.:

Kurt: And here's the coolest thing — my BED! I sleep in a racecar! What do you sleep in?
Homer: (plainly) I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Kurt: (dejected) Oh, right.

 

[Tweek]

Another one from the Radioman episode: Vocal coach training Ranier Wolfcastle:

Coach (to Ranier Wolfcastle): Up and atom!
RW: Up and at them!
Coach: Up and atom!
RW: Up and at them!
Coach: Better!

 

[Lucee]

Originally posted by Tweek
Another one from the Radioman episode: Vocal coach training Ranier Wolfcastle:

Coach (to Ranier Wolfcastle): Up and atom!
RW: Up and at them!
Coach: Up and atom!
RW: Up and at them!
Coach: Better!

Man, I love the simpsons!

 

[dh girlie]

Originally posted by Lucee
Man, I love the simpsons!

Yeah me too...I love the simpsons so much I WISH I were a simpson...

 

[Westy]

Originally posted by dh girlie
Yeah me too...I love the simpsons so much I WISH I were a simpson...

I think OJ is single.

 

[Lucee]

Originally posted by Westy
I think OJ is single.

D'oh!!



ROFL

 

[dh girlie]

Originally posted by Westy
I think OJ is single.

HAHAHAHA! Perfect...then I'd be Lisa Simpson!

 

[Tweek]

Homer's motorcycle gang in Flanders' basement:

Homer: The first meeting of Hell's Satans is called to order.
Flanders: I move we reconsider our club name. Make it something a little less blasphemous. After all, we don't want to go to hell.
Lenny: How about the Devil's Pals?
Flanders: No …
Moe: The Christ Punchers.
Flanders: The Christ…. I, I don't think you understand my objection.


Sticky this thread already!!!!

 

[Dirt rider]

after homer crashes his car into his other car in his own driveway..


Police man: So this "Moe's" you where at... is it a bussiness of some kind?

Homer's inside head voice: don't tell him you where at a bar.

Homer: Its a pornography store, I was buying pornography....

 

[Tweek]

Here's one a buddy reminded me of the other day:
Homer steals Ned's flowers to use for a float in the parade:

Flanders: Excuse me neighbour! Yeah, uh, I, I couldn't help but notice you picked pretty much all of my flowers!
Homer: Can't make a float without flowers.
Flanders: Oh ho, sure enough, but uh, did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?
Homer: Hehehehe… yeah.

 

[Joe Pozer]

Smithers: "Sir, I'm afraid we have a bad image, people see you as a bit of an ogre."

Mr.Burns: "I ought to club them and eat their bones!"

 

[Joe Pozer]

Groundskeeper Willie: "If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ya, and BURN yer town to CINDERS!"
(Man whispers to Willie)
Willie: "I know it’s on."

 

[Westy]

From Sunday's episode

"What have I been smoking?? Oh yeah, pot" -Otto

 

[MikeD]

Originally posted by Joe Pozer
Heidi and Lucee in the same vicinity? I'm not sure this world can handle such an occurence..

The world, yes.

Orven, no.

Back to quotes:

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food...and, Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!

The professor: (coming down from hypnotism where he thinks he's a smooth ladies' man...) Oh, god! I'm re-dorkulating!

Bart: (after seeing R-rated Naked Lunch with fake ID) I can think of at least TWO things wrong with that title.

Lisa discussing Jebediah Springfield with someone:

'A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.'

"Embiggens?? That's not even a real word!"

'It's a perfectly cromulent word!!'

MD

 

[Lucee]

Originally posted by MikeD


Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food...and, Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!

The professor: (coming down from hypnotism where he thinks he's a smooth ladies' man...) Oh, god! I'm re-dorkulating!

Bart: (after seeing R-rated Naked Lunch with fake ID) I can think of at least TWO things wrong with that title.

Lisa discussing Jebediah Springfield with someone:

'A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.'

"Embiggens?? That's not even a real word!"

'It's a perfectly cromulent word!!'


MD

OMG! I wish I had a memory, I've recognized all of those quotes and love them all!! I gotta watch the show tonight

 

[MikeD]

Oh, yeah...

Lisa upon seeing Troy McLure's house: "It's like living in the not too distant future!"

and Apu's abbreviated grace before dinner,

"Good friends, good curry. Good Ghandi, let's hurry!"

Or something to that effect.

MD

Edit: Bart, waking up at end of halloween episode where he and the other schoolkids are being made into school lunch:

"AHHH! Oh...it was just a dream!"

Marge: "It's OK, Bart...there's nothing to worry about. Except that fog that turns people inside out!!"

(fog seeps through windows; family begins grotesque chorus line as their organs are exposed....)

 

[Heidi]

Ralph: My boogers are spicy.

That was from Sunday

 

[MikeD]

Homer: [mocking] "Lisa, are you trying to tell me ham, bacon, and pork chops all come from one maaaaaaagical animal??"

 

[MikeD]

Marge: (asks for a knife) "That's not a knife, that's a spoon!"

Aussie bartender: "Oi kin see yewe've ploid noifey-spooney befaw!"

 

[VooDoo]

Originally posted by MikeD
Marge: (asks for a knife) "That's not a knife, that's a spoon!"

Aussie bartender: "Oi kin see yewe've ploid noifey-spooney befaw!"

nope.
bart was playing with his pocket knife, and an australian dude walks up and says "THat's not a knife, THIS is a knife!"
Bart replies, "That's nto a knife that's a spoon!"
Aussie replies "Well then, i guess you've played knifey-spooney before!"
Marge asks for a coffe, bartender says "beer?"
marge says "co-ffeeee!"
bartender says "beeeeerrr?"
marge says "c-o-f-f-e---"
Bartender interupts "bey ey ey"

 

[onelostsoul21]

skinner- "...ahhh, Nibbles. i knew you'd return...now chew through my ball-sack"

homer-"moe...i got this friend see..."
Moe-" yeah whats his name?"
Homer-" ???JOey-joe-joe-junior shabadu????"
moe-"thans the worst name i eva heard"
-(bar patron runs out cryin..)-
Barney-" HEY!!....Joey Joe-Joe!!!"