[Sumac]

Homer: "Trying is the first step towards failure"

(From the ovaraptor episode, Bart attempts to not shoot a mother bird in the nest by aiming way to the side of the nest)
Nelson: "Alright, bulleye! You even corrected for the bent sight..."

(From the Ned Flanders Beatlemania episode, Ned sings to Rod and Todd while hiding in the panic room)
To the tune of "Coming around the mountain"
Ned: "We'll be safe inside our fortress when they come! We'll be safe from creeps and killers when they come. Unless they have a blowtorch or a poison gas injector. Then I don't know what'll happen when they come."

What a great show!

Steve

 

[dh girlie]

ending to last nights first episode:


Otto: Looks like this story has a happy ending...just like my last massage...


HA!

 

[Tweek]

Last night's 2nd episode had a couple good Ralph quotes...

(While being carried off by a wolf): "You smell like dead bunnies!"

(After being thrown through a window with a note attached to him): "I'm a BRICK!"

 

[pnj]

Homer- I kicked a giant mouse in the butt. do I have to draw you a picture?

 

[Tenchiro]

Both of last nights Simpsons were awesome, well maybe not the Evita episode...

 

[Zoso]

Mrs. Lovejoy (pastors wife): We are talking about the s-e-x in front of the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n.

Krusty: Sex Cauldron?? I thought they shut that place down?!
____

After Homer has his vision quest:
"Oh, and that Aztec temple was just the pro shop. And that talking coyote was really that talking dog."

Dog: "Hi Homer!"

Homer: "Wait a minute! Dogs can't talk!"

Dog: "Woof woof!"

Homer: "Damn straight!"
____

Selma: "My God, he eats like a pig (referring to Homer)!"

Lenny: "Ehhh, he eats more like a duck."
____

 

[Dirt rider]

Nelson form lats nights episode

I AM IRON MAN!!! DUN NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH, VOTE FOR ME!

 

[Dirt rider]

Homer: Dosent the bible say "thou shall not let moochers into thy hut"?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

revend lovejoy: But think of Mathew 5:24 " put thou difences aside and ye shall be fulfilled"

Homer: yes but what about Mathew 6:17, hmmm...

Lovejoy: and he went into Nazerath and he lodged there??

Homer Yeah... Think about it....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Homer answers the door and Rev. Lovejoy,mrs Lovejoy,Ned and Maud falnders and a few others are there.

Homer: AWWWWWW!! This isnt going to be about Jesus is it?

Rev Lovejoy: Everything is about Jesus Homer!.... Except this, do you kow your son is working in a berlesque house?

Helan Lovejoy: principal Skinner saw Him there with his own eyes!

Skinner: thats right but I was only ther to get directions on how to get away from there.

Ned: Now homer Im as free thinking as the next parent, Like for instance the other day I let Rod buy a some red hot candies with a cartoon devil on the box, but this is a little ovber the top.

Homer: Now listen.. If Homer Simpson wants his son to work in a berlesque house, Homer Simpson's son is going to work in a berlesque house!!

the crowd parts to reaviel Marge exuated after a trip from scrubbing oil coverd rocks with Lisa

Homer: now Marge your going to hear alot of crazy stories of Bart working In a berlesque house....

 

[ridetoofast]

they realize that as a child homer stuck a crayon up his nose
if they removed it he could "increase his brain power" but the surgery could also kill him....

homer translation.."increase my killing power"

 

[rockracing]

not sure if this scene was mentioned as I haven't read all the pages.

Looking like they're interogating a suspect.

Chief Whigim: "OK, so you think you're hot stuff eh ? Well, we're gonna take you to pieces"

meanwhile they actually just got a pizza !

 

[DRB]

Two of my favorites

Homer: Marriage is like a coffin and every kid is another nail in it.



Marge: Homer, this is the worse thing you have ever done.

Homer: You say that so much it as lost all meaning.

 

[dh girlie]

I like how Lenny always gets something thrown at him and it hits him in the eye and he'll say...

Owww! I'm not supposed to get pudding in my eye!

I've heard him say that he's not supposed to get whatever in his eye a few times...hahaha!

 

[TreeSaw]

Here's a couple of classics:

Marge: I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends. All you have to do is be yourself.
Lisa: Be myself? I've been myself for eight years and it hasn't worked.

Mr. Burns: Ah, Monday morning. Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hungover drones.

Homer: Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close

Homer: Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Homer: I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

 

[Zoso]

Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces!

Boy, when it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, blood-sucking monsters always wantin' more, more, MORE!!

 

[drtbikrr]

When homer is getting chased by fat tony and he runs off sceen a gun goes off and you hear "OWWWW that bullet went in"
Nick

 

[Westy]

It's the 21st century now. It is a lot like the 20th century but everyone is afraid and the stock market is much lower.-L. Simpson

 

[dh girlie]

Not a quote, but the mention of fat tony reminds me of the episode where homer discovers that he is selling rat milk to the school for the kids...HA!

 

[Austin Bike]

Any line that starts with "I'm troy mcclure...."

 

[biggins]

im not not licking toads

 

[Tenchiro]

Haha, Sprawlmart

 

[Westy]

Zit faced kid with changing voice working at movie refreshment stand: I am sorry but we are not supposed to put butter on the Milk Duds.

 

[Shmoe]

When hes writing the article for the paper about food:

*They go to write an article
Lisa: Well, what did you think of the food?
Homer: hrmmmmm... well its not... not... undelecious
Lisa: It was delecious
Homer: exactly!

 

[stitch]

dowww

 

[dropmonkey]

"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's" Keri (or Sheri) stranded on island.

"Me fail english? That's unpossible!" Ralph

 

[Shanks]

Remember in the haloween episode when Homer and his usual groupies are Roman nights and they're on the way home on their ship. Blah Blah,(earlier in that episode they were the nights of the trojan horse) If I remember correctly homer winds up eating is comrads after theyre turned into pigs.. Then he has to sail through the "river styx" hell to get home..... What styx song is that?? I missed that era of rock compleatly so Im cluless.

Im laughin just remembering the show!

Any 80's rockers that can help me out would be greatly appretiated!

Cheers!

 

[steve45]

i have a few favourites but i can never remember the exact quote but here goes.

the one homer becomes head of the nuclear plant union, he's just won the dental plan and is on the floor running round in circles going 'Woooop woop woop woop woop woop woo' then burns comes out with something like 'i think we've been had, he's not as smart as i first thought'

the one where homer finds the pie on the floor 'Mmmm, floor pie'

cant remember what this ones from but i just remember the quote 'Duffman! cant breath!!!'

the one where there playing all the practical jokes, barts found out homers weakness, gets the tin of beer and shakes it with the paint machine, places it back in the fridge. as soon as homer is about toopen the beer bart says 'April fo... BANG!!!!!!!!

and the good old classic 'Mmmmm beeeerrrr'

theres so many more that i love but i cant remember them.

 

[pnj]

moe- I'm put sausages down your throat and shove starving dogs up your butt!

 

[MikeD]

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins." [extends hand to Homer]

Homer: [shaking hand] "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

 

[Joe Pozer]

Mr. Burns quotes

"Well, that's odd ... I've just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers - have him beaten to a pulp."


"What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?"

Mr. Burns: You're fired.
Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off of you.
Mr. Burns: You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.


Mr. Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?
Smithers: What?!!
Mr. Burns: You know, light and fancy free! Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!
Smithers: Oh! Of course.


Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

 

[Zoso]

Homer: You're Lisa's best friend Maggie. You go talk her. (Pushes Maggie towards Lisa, but she just falls flat on her face.)

Cletus: Hey, you know what? I could call my ma while I'm up here. HEY MA, GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!!!

 

[MikeD]

I'm a brick!

 

[Joe Pozer]

BARNEY: (stands up at girl scout meeting): Hi, my name is Barney, and I'm an alcoholic
LISA: Mr. Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting
BARNEY: Is it, or is it that you girl scouts can't admit that you have a problem?


HOMER(attempting to impersonate Mr. Burns):Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter waiting for me.
POSTOFFICE GUY: okay, Mr. Burns - what's your first name?
HOMER: I don't know.

 

[dh girlie]

From the episode where Mr. Burns has the young girlfriend and he tells wiggam that he's gonna go into the burning house to save her...and cheif wiggam says...YOU? but you're a decrepit old monkey skeleton!

 

[Zoso]

Originally posted by MikeD
I'm a brick!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!


Ralf: "..and when I found out I didn't have worms it was the happiest day of my life."

Ms. Hoover: "Thank you Ralf, very graphic."

 

[Joe Pozer]

Millhouse auditioning to become Mr. Burns heir

BURNS: I specifically said, no geeks!
MILHOUSE: But my mom says I'm cool.

 

[Joe Pozer]

Kent Brockman: "Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch."


Smithers: "Sir, I'm afraid we have a bad image, people see you as a bit of an ogre."
Mr.Burns: "I ought to club them and eat their bones!"


This one is for DHGirlie
Lisa at the Dentists' office
dentist: "Lisa, so you won't be scared, I'll show you some of the tools I'll be using. This is the scraper, this is the poker, and this happy little fellow is called the gouger. Now the first thing I'll be doing is chiseling some teeth out of your jawbone. Hold still while I gas you."

 

[MikeD]

Japanese tourist: Meeeest-ah Sparkle!!!

 

[Islandmudpuppy]

"I'm a gulch"

 

[Cooter Brown]

Otto: "They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing"

 

[Cooter Brown]

Originally posted by Cooter Brown
Otto: "They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing"

Homer to Bart: "EMANCIPATED, don't you like being a dude!?"