I strapped on my wizards hat and robe and walked into the arena. There my trusty Nakmachine was waiting for me shiny and clean. I jumped into the mechanical spider and readied myself for what was going to be the biggest match of my life. I NakNakNakNakNakd out to the map which had revealed itself to be Nirvana Bside. I thought to myself "This is going to be a piece of cake being a Nak" and my starting position was on the second tier from the top. It was then that I saw my opponent username "TnyaHrdng6969" in her glistening Raonlauncher mech. I could see her avatar as well; she donned a Girls Swimsuit along with a Rusted Rake. "I see her strategy already" I thought to myself as I prepared to launch glowing yellow goodness from the rectum of my machine.
My first shot a bright glob of yellow nails TnyaHrdng6969 in the face which Im sure she was no stranger to. My delay was +700 and she shot off her mines. They landed around me moving slowly after every turn. I looked up knowing full well she was a Raonlauncher master. Then something very strange happened.
I saw TnyaHrdng6969s mech start to vibrate and then it exploded! She ripped a hole in time and space with her earthshattering blow and pieces of the map begin to fly into TnyaHrdng6969s dark abyss. I hung on to a rock for dear life and watched as my mech broke away from my legs grip and flew into the tear along with rocks trees people Nancy Kerrigan cows it was a disaster. I knew what I had to do.
"H4X!!111oneone" I screamed as I rushed to the "Option" button and clicked it. I hit "Surrender" and lost the match and quickly emailed the mods. "I foudn a h4x0rz!11" the email read and within a week TnyaHrdng6969s account was no more.
I will never forget that fateful day in GunBound and I am a better person because of it. Tonya Harding you are a h4xing \/\/h00r.