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Five flushes is not a love song

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,412
0
SF
I was ready to get my swerve on when my lady friend went into the can.

I am thinking about the game plan, invite her to sit next to me, turn down the lights,... when I hear the toilet flush.

Ok, she had to poop. Its natural.

Flush again. OMG, what a load she must have dropped.

Two quick flushes in a row. WTF did she do it then.

A minute of rustling and I hear the final flush.

I realize it must have been a clogged toilet. When she came out, she apologized and blamed the old plumbing.

I just headed to the door and the night came to a quick end.
 

CrabJoe StretchPants

Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick
Nov 30, 2003
11,569
422
Groton, MA
Is she Asian? Because based solely on the Japanese scat porn I've seen, 5 flushes seems about right for the dookies those women take.
 

bizutch

Delicate CUSTOM flower
Dec 11, 2001
15,922
8
Over your shoulder whispering
Our toilet here at work sucks. You could poop a hershey's kiss and clog it. It's because they put a water jug in the tank to save water. I took it out without them knowing.

Now it will flush the poo down, but only after 2 hits. You coulda got laid by a chic with a freshly wiped butt and empty bowel. You superfail.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,369
3,122
Sleazattle
Might have been a dainty lady like turd with super-buoyancy. Some of those floaters are a real bitch to flush.
 

Mattcz

Chimp
Oct 17, 2009
36
3
I read this at work and darn near peed myself*
Comedy gold

*granted I did read it 14 hours into a 16 hour shift
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
4
"I onry frush five time! Old prumbing make toiret difficurt. Whel you going? What's the lush?"
 

IH8Rice

I'm Mr. Negative! I Fail!
Aug 2, 2008
24,554
487
Im over here now
i had a similar experience.....after a blind date dinner, the lady came back to my house for a movie. i took my dog out when we first got home after she excused herself to the bathroom. when i came back in, i had to take a leak. needless to say, the bathroom reeked like something died in there. after i came out of the bathroom, i said my dog was sick and kicked her to the curb. thankfully she followed me in her car.