[brungeman]

Well, the tech ed dept. is only 4 guys and we have a small fridge for our lunches that I brought in from home. Just a small appt. size thing! There is one guy (we'll call him BOB) that puts 2 bottles of water, and between 2 & 6 20oz Diet Pepsi's along with his own lunch in there. The other 2 guys and myself usually put one or 2 drinks in and a small lunch in when we can fit them around "Bob's" stuff.

Now, I don't drink coffee in the morning, I usually have a Pepsi. I leave one can in the fridge in the afternoon so it is cold in the morning, when I take the can out I replace it with a bottle of water for my afternoon drink. When I take out the water I put in a can of Pepsi to cool down for the morning!

A few weeks back I started noticing that my Pepsi I had sitting in the office was going quicker than a can a day! By powers of deduction (no cans missing the 3 days "Bob" was missing, and by asking the other 2 guys) I realized it was Bob drinking my chit! He was taking my drink and putting another in so I would have a cold one, and hopefully I wouldn't notice! When I brought in another 12 pack, I slid it under the cart the fridge sits on and because BOB is so BIG, he can't bend over to pull another can out, and I would be able to tell he was the one taking it. I came in today and found a fridge without my pepsi but with a full 6 pack of his 20oz. Diet Pepsi's...

I was so mad I should...

I will refrain from telling what I did till I hear some responses!

 

[I Are Baboon]

 

[greenchris]

bob is a jerk.

 

[bean]

Throw all of fat ass Bob's food into the garbage?

 

[brungeman]

sorry the poll wasn't up when you looked!

 

[H8R]

Solution:

Remove the fridge.

Then stab, stab, stab.

 

[H8R]

Ah... a poll.


I voted poison. Poison all of the food too.

 

[greenchris]

Solution:

Remove the fridge.

Then stab, stab, stab.

IF you stab once in the brain stem you can enjoy all your pepsi your damn self

 

[I Are Baboon]

Rig his Pepsi/Diet Pepsi (I can't tell which one he swaps and which one he drinks) with explosives so that his head gets ripped off when he opens said can. Then you can call him "Nubby."

 

[I Are Baboon]

Or bang his wife.

 

[Broken_Spoke]

Write your name on your food. Where I work i have to share a fridge with 95 other people so the name thing is a must. Suck it up.

 

[bluebug32]

I think it's funny when fat people drink diet soda.

 

[Jeremy R]

Tape a piece of broccoli to the can.
Fat people despise broccoli.

 

[binary visions]

Poison everything.

F**kers had it coming anyway.

 

[Mike B.]

I think it's funny when fat people drink diet soda.

Like being at BK - fat dude gets a double whopper, king sizes the damn thing then gets a diet coke.

Wasn't there some hidden video of a guy urinating in the company coffee pot maybe you could go that route. Seemed effective to me.

 

[bluebug32]

If you offed him then wouldn't you have to take over his classes again?

 

[brungeman]

greenchris,
You don't know the half of it!

BEAN,
NICE! I LIKE THAT IDEA!

IAB,
if you saw him, you would realize that banging his wife is not an option! Anything that associates themselves on a voluntary basis with this FVCK, is just not someone I want to meet! (I have met her and she is as big as he is)

BlueBug,
This guy drinks 3-6 20oz drinks a day, he used to drink regular now it is diet (and any of my regular) Pepsi. I think it is hysterical myself!
And yes this is the DOUCHROCKET I had to cover for 4 times last week, and once this week!

JeremyR...
NICE... unfortunately this guy is more than just a fat guy, he is like a human garbage can... Broccoli is not enough of a deterant!

MikeB,
did you ever see MallRats? when the guy wipes his @$$ on the donut? Now were talking!

 

[Westy]

Paint a little pure capsaicin around the openings of one of the Sodas. Not as illegal as pure poison but just as fun.

 

[SkaredShtles]

Spoke has it right. Just put you name on the stuff with a Sharpie. It's a PITA, but apparently necessary.

Edit: Westy's advice is actually the best.

 

[douglas]

switch to bottles, open, take a swig and backwash to fill it back up.

 

[Red Rabbit]

US a needle and poke a hole in the bottom, put exlax in. The a jbweld & your golden.

When I was in grade school, this kid kept stealing my lunches. So I told my Mom. She baked me brownies using choclate exlax. I then warpped them in foil & put them in my lunch. The next day the kid **** himself during class. He is still a total socail outcaste & he is now in 12th grade. Got what he deserved....

 

[skinny mike]

does bob have bitch-tits?

 

[Echo]

I'm picturing that Simpsons episode where Bart shakes up Homer's beer as an April Fools joke. At one point he had the beer at the hardware store in the machine that shakes paint cans to mix the paint

 

[splat]

Paint a little pure capsaicin around the openings of one of the Sodas. Not as illegal as pure poison but just as fun.

Nice

Actually , Put a can of Pepsi in a Paint shaker let shake for a good 15 20 minutes, then put it in the fridge

Edit : dam beat by echo

 

[Hunter]

communal fridges suck. my stuff gets snagged all the time if I don't label it in big freakin letters. Empty one of the bottles, fill it with

.

Or just tell the loser to stay the hell out of your stuff!

 

[Westy]

I'm picturing that Simpsons episode where Bart shakes up Homer's beer as an April Fools joke. At one point he had the beer at the hardware store in the machine that shakes paint cans to mix the paint

When I was a kid I really wanted my mother to stop smoking so I'd put a couple of those gag explosive charges in a few cigs in each pack. It freaked her out enough that she almost quit. Unfortunately I confessed to what I was doing before the plan was affective.

 

[DRB]

Go with the poison, its always appropriate.

 

[robdamanii]

Chop bob up and put him in the fridge?

 

[NapalmCheese]

Or just tell the loser to stay the hell out of your stuff!

Ahhh, confrontation.
More specifically, public humiliation.
The next time you have missing stuff don't hide the fact that you are asking around about who's taking it. Make a jokingly big deal of it to everyone (including BOB). Get other people in on the investigation, speculate as to why someone would take your stuff out of the fridge. Point fingers at random people and cause distrust.

Everyone already knows who it is, if you start trying to blame other people and make all sorts of wild acusations your coworkers will help you with your 'investigation'.

After all is said and done, let everyone accuse everyone else, make everyone paranoid, enjoy your Pepsi.

 

[brungeman]

Paint a little pure capsaicin around the openings of one of the Sodas. Not as illegal as pure poison but just as fun.

where can I get said sweet nectar of the pepper?

 

[Echo]

where can I get said sweet nectar of the pepper?

I think "Dave's Insanity Sauce" had some pure oil that they were selling for a while. It came with an eyedropper and you had to sign a waiver to buy it

 

[robdamanii]

I think "Dave's Insanity Sauce" had some pure oil that they were selling for a while. It came with an eyedropper and you had to sign a waiver to buy it

A waiver is necessary for a couple of their sauces as well.

I'm pretty sure you can find pure capsacin online in different places.

 

[Hunter]

Ahhh, confrontation.
More specifically, public humiliation.
The next time you have missing stuff don't hide the fact that you are asking around about who's taking it. Make a jokingly big deal of it to everyone (including BOB). Get other people in on the investigation, speculate as to why someone would take your stuff out of the fridge. Point fingers at random people and cause distrust.

Everyone already knows who it is, if you start trying to blame other people and make all sorts of wild acusations your coworkers will help you with your 'investigation'.

After all is said and done, let everyone accuse everyone else, make everyone paranoid, enjoy your Pepsi.

Well said...I'd go with this option (though it may be a little odd with only 4 co-workers

 

[Westy]

where can I get said sweet nectar of the pepper?

I found some of the pure stuff but it was close to $300 a bottle. This isn't quite as strong but I'd bet it would still do the trick.

http://www.hotnbottled.com/hot_sauces/products/1330MS.html

 

[TreeSaw]

I'm picturing that Simpsons episode where Bart shakes up Homer's beer as an April Fools joke. At one point he had the beer at the hardware store in the machine that shakes paint cans to mix the paint

A classic!!!!

 

[TreeSaw]

I think "Dave's Insanity Sauce" had some pure oil that they were selling for a while. It came with an eyedropper and you had to sign a waiver to buy it

ah yes, a great option...although....do you have to share a bathroom with him?

 

[Dartman]

Try this...

http://www.tv.com/uservideos/?action=video_player&id=cnU7xTqo5bkIszTd

 

[NapalmCheese]

ah yes, a great option...although....do you have to share a bathroom with him?

That could be pretty comical as well... You think the stuff will still cause a burning once it's dried out? Becuase putting it on the toilet paper could teach someone a lesson.

 

[H8R]

Chop bob up and put him in the fridge?

Chop his legs and arms off and throw him in a pool.

Then watch Bob bob.


Throw darts for extra fun.



No, this is not excessive punishment for stolen cola.

 

[vtjim]

So what did you do?