Quantcast

For all you Hummer H3 haters

  • Come enter the Ridemonkey Secret Santa!

    We're kicking off the 2024 Secret Santa! Exchange gifts with other monkeys - from beer and snacks, to bike gear, to custom machined holiday decorations and tools by our more talented members, there's something for everyone.

    Click here for details and to learn how to participate.

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,649
26
SF, CA
Stuck with an H3 rental for work last winter for a week. Miserable vehicle. My coworker who is 6'3" couldn't see uout of the damn thing because the roof comes down where half the windows should be. It handles like crap, it accelerates like crap, and it has less room, power, clearance, utility, economy and style than a Tahoe. If you're going to spend too much money on an SUV, you should buy a Toyota.
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
Transcend said:
Enjoy paying ridiculous gas prices in your overpriced, pickup truck body based POS.

Seriously, if you need a penis extension, get a surplus HUMMV. You know, a vehicle that is actually worthy of it's ridiculously ugly looks.

Funny you mention gas prices with those two. The surplus gets worse milage and rides like crap. Should really check out the H3 before slamming it, its really a nice rig, lets just say 19 Mpg. And if you really want to blow your mind, check into the tractioncontrol, assisr program it runs. Its not like any other 4x4 system, If you want me to Overveiw it let me know!!!
 

Transcend

My Nuts Are Flat
Apr 18, 2002
18,040
3
Towing the party line.
DirtyMike said:
Funny you mention gas prices with those two. The surplus gets worse milage and rides like crap. Should really check out the H3 before slamming it, its really a nice rig, lets just say 19 Mpg. And if you really want to blow your mind, check into the tractioncontrol, assisr program it runs. Its not like any other 4x4 system, If you want me to Overveiw it let me know!!!
Yes the HUMMV does get worse mileage, of course it does. It's twice the size and is actually a capable off road vehicle. The H3 is not.

As Ohio has said above, the H3 is basically just a gigantic hunk of crap that pretends to be a hummv. It is a penis extension and nothing more.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
43,073
15,163
Portland, OR
DirtyMike said:
Funny you mention gas prices with those two. The surplus gets worse milage and rides like crap. Should really check out the H3 before slamming it, its really a nice rig, lets just say 19 Mpg. And if you really want to blow your mind, check into the tractioncontrol, assisr program it runs. Its not like any other 4x4 system, If you want me to Overveiw it let me know!!!
But with a surplus M998, you can run bio and I can tell you the milage on an M998 is great.
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
Transcend said:
Yes the HUMMV does get worse mileage, of course it does. It's twice the size and is actually a capable off road vehicle. The H3 is not.

As Ohio has said above, the H3 is basically just a gigantic hunk of crap that pretends to be a hummv. It is a penis extension and nothing more.
Please dont feel i meant to offend

These are the types of things i must keep up with and take updates classes on a ergular basis for. The H2 in my opinion was a Miserable failure, Its a suburban with a different body. The H3 it a totally new chassis. Its doesnt rpetend to be a Hummv, It is its own, As far as your idea of handling poorly, anything that has a primary offraod suspension is going to handle worse on the road, there is no getting around that. I would Highly suggest, before knocking this truck as a peice of crap, to research the technology behind it. Its more of a Competeter to Jeep's cherokee line. 3.5 liter Inline 5 cylinder that runs Very smooth, matched up to the proper gear ratios to move the beast. Personally i would love to see more of these over the H2's and Hummv's. And you may want to check your pricing on them, they arent that terrible compared to the technology invested into them, like i said, its total revamp, it is its own chassis. Full time allwheel drive, 4 h locked 4l locked, with the electronic traction assist.

Now, personally I would spend my money on something smaller, i have Absolutely no need for something that big. A Colorado would suit me more than well. But if you need something bigger due to family, kids, work, whatever, this one works well, and its a safe vehicle.

Again, didnt post to try and Hype it up or to Offend, just to say dont knock it out just because it says Hummer on it.
 

macko

Turbo Monkey
Jul 12, 2002
1,191
0
THE Palouse
I recall the bumper sticker that says "Nice HUMMER. Sorry about your penis."

Those things are the epidemy of waste and excess for the sake of being cool. Sure, sure, they've got some fancy 4x4 system and all that jazz but the fact is you can't do as much off-roading on as you'd think. Why? Four wheel drive [jeep] trails are much too narrow for these beheameths. If you're traveling on federal land and the BLM or FS sees you tromping on previously undisturbed country, you're getting a ticket for driving cross-country. Same goes for state land, though there typically aren't as many rangers patrolling that unless it's hunting season.

Even if you if you're on private land, because 2-tracks are indeed so narrow you'll most likely be scraping the **** out of the sides of your over-priced H3 because the veg has only been cleared for normal-sized vehicles.

I think people that drive these things are jackasses.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,747
8,747
DirtyMike said:
The H3 it a totally new chassis. Its doesnt rpetend to be a Hummv, It is its own, [...] I would Highly suggest, before knocking this truck as a peice of crap, to research the technology behind it.
is it really a "totally new chassis"? last i read it was a gmc colorado with faux armor plating.
macko said:
Those things are the epidemy of waste and excess for the sake of being cool
while i agree with you, it's "epitome".
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
Toshi said:
is it really a "totally new chassis"? last i read it was a gmc colorado with faux armor plating.

while i agree with you, it's "epitome".

Yeah thats the rumor that was going around, so we proved its different, we Put a colorado and an H3 side by side on the racks. they were most defenetly different. Although Both seemed to have alot of influence from toyota on the whole deal
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,548
2,173
Front Range, dude...
If you dont get one with a turret and a pintle mount, you are just missing something intrinsic to the value of the ride. Add an M2, or a Mk 19, and really up the cruising value...
Having spent WAY too much time in them, I dont think I would get a civillian model, but whatever floats yer boat, enjoy!
 

SilentJ

trail builder
Jun 17, 2002
1,312
0
Calgary AB
macko said:
.....

Those things are the epidemy of waste and excess for the sake of being cool. Sure, sure, they've got some fancy 4x4 system and all that jazz but the fact is you can't do as much off-roading on as you'd think. Why? Four wheel drive [jeep] trails are much too narrow for these beheameths. If you're traveling on federal land and the BLM or FS sees you tromping on previously undisturbed country, you're getting a ticket for driving cross-country. Same goes for state land, though there typically aren't as many rangers patrolling that unless it's hunting season.

Even if you if you're on private land, because 2-tracks are indeed so narrow you'll most likely be scraping the **** out of the sides of your over-priced H3 because the veg has only been cleared for normal-sized vehicles.
Christ. How hard is it got get some facts? It's not that big.

H3 External dimensions:
overall length (inches): 186.7
overall width (inches): 74.7
overall height (inches): 73.7
ground clearance (inches): 9.1
wheelbase (inches): 111.9
front track (inches): 65
rear track (inches): 65.5
curb to curb turning circle (feet): 37

A Toyota 4-runner is wider.
A Jeep Wrangler is ~6in narrower.
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
JohnE said:
...... but whatever floats yer boat, enjoy!

I think thats the best way i have heard someone Put it!!!

Are you still active Military?? Either way you served your country, And i respect that!! Good friend of mine left for his second tour In Iraq this morning.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,747
8,747
DirtyMike said:
Yeah thats the rumor that was going around, so we proved its different, we Put a colorado and an H3 side by side on the racks. they were most defenetly different. Although Both seemed to have alot of influence from toyota on the whole deal
well, whether modified or not it's still a colorado. look at the dashboard...



vs. the attached pic
 

SilentJ

trail builder
Jun 17, 2002
1,312
0
Calgary AB
DirtyMike said:
Nice work Silentj
is the 19mpg real? tested? Over what? Edmunds says 13mpg over their 500 mile test.

My truck gets about that on average and its 500lbs lighter, taller gearing, smaller wheels, an intake and exhaust that helped mileage...
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
SilentJ said:
is the 19mpg real? tested? Over what? Edmunds says 13mpg over their 500 mile test.

My truck gets about that on average and its 500lbs lighter, taller gearing, smaller wheels, an intake and exhaust that helped mileage...

So far My brother is averaging right at the 19 highway, not sure yet what his Stop and go is yet. Your on the right track though as far as differences go with these type of vehicles, Its all about balancing everything together your gearing tires power all that . I could see the Milage dropping to the ten or below range if you drive it with a heavy foot all the time, but as always the driver alone can make a huge difference in milage
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
Toshi said:
well, whether modified or not it's still a colorado. look at the dashboard...



vs. the attached pic

More like a cross between a Frontier and a colorado. The egine and Trani are the same as the Colorado, but are totally different on there fuel control systems, and trani Logic systems. List goes on but you get the idea. Try to remember its not Hummer making these, its GM, so your going to see strong simularities between this and there other trucks. Like i said before though, i am not trying to promote or Demote this vehicle, just not to slamm it out of your eyes is all. People ask me all the time, "Hey you get to see into all the different vehicles, and you see what breaking and whats not, What kind of car/truck would you buy?"" The answer is always teh same, Go drive them and buy the one you feel at home in!!!! Most all vehicles nowadays are coming more and more standardized. All of them haveMostly the same electronics, sensors and Of coarse, the lovely OBD2 system. They all use either a Maf or a Map to determine the amount of air coming into the engine, they all have to moniter throttle posistion, they all have to moniter fuel... list goes on. They might call there sensor different names and they might look different, but they still have to accomplish the same thing!!!
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,747
8,747
so it's a colorado with, what, more cross beams on the ladder frame?, different body panels, slightly nicer interior trim pieces, and a different ecu. oh, and a locking diff. i guess that's important for its supposed purpose.

yes, all cars are similar on some level, but not at the same level as cars that happen share the same platform and drivetrain.
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
Toshi said:
... oh, and a locking diff. i guess that's important for its supposed purpose.

yes, all cars are similar on some level, but not at the same level as cars that happen share the same platform and drivetrain.

Those simularities are all Interior SImulairities, from teh bottom its the engine and trani that are the only part that are teh same, the Chassis's are Not the same between the two, the Suspensions are very different, On and its not just a locking Diff, the traction assist program on these things is Awesome, more and more Manufactures are going to this, it uses the brakes, yes the brakes, By applying the brakes at the wheel which has begun to spin, it transfers the power to the opposing wheel. Probably take me a week to try to explain it in full, seeing as how it was a month long class.
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
SilentJ said:
My Canyon has an auto locker. Not sure if they're using the same rear end or not...
No they are not using the same rear end, i havent Pulled the rear diff cover on an H3 yet, but i dont expect to see much more than an open Diff there, there power distributin and traction control is all operated by the brakes!!!
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
consumer reports, in the annual auto issue, had an interesting comparison between mpg and speed (which is really not too surprising). depending on the shape of the car, 10 mph had a fairly significant impact on mpg. for instance, (and i forget the actual vehicle and mileage) at 55 mph car x (camry?) got 26 mpg. at 65 it went to 23 and at 75 it was down to 21 or so. a boxier car, like a cherokee, decreased too, but not as much, percentage-wise.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,747
8,747
narlus said:
consumer reports, in the annual auto issue, had an interesting comparison between mpg and speed (which is really not too surprising). depending on the shape of the car, 10 mph had a fairly significant impact on mpg. for instance, (and i forget the actual vehicle and mileage) at 55 mph car x (camry?) got 26 mpg. at 65 it went to 23 and at 75 it was down to 21 or so. a boxier car, like a cherokee, decreased too, but not as much, percentage-wise.
whoa, physics at work. duddddeeeee. that's interesting that the more aerodynamic car was affected more by velocity. due to the tires and parasitic drag of 4wd on the jeep? hmm
 

black noise

Turbo Monkey
Dec 31, 2004
1,032
0
Santa Cruz
Like someone said, cars to me are tools. As long as they're reliable, with good mileage, and fit me and my bikes in it I'm set. It seems like a Volvo 240 would get the job done as much as a H3 (and for $30,000 less) so long as you're not going off road much. But I guess Volvos are gay and you can't run over little cars in them.

It sounds like you like the car though, so have fun ruling the freeway and doing your part to fund oil companies.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,747
8,747
DirtyMike said:
No they are not using the same rear end, i havent Pulled the rear diff cover on an H3 yet, but i dont expect to see much more than an open Diff there, there power distributin and traction control is all operated by the brakes!!!
http://trucks.about.com/library/photo/bl_06_h3_gal13.htm

having traction control that uses the brakes (like any number of minivans, crossover-utes, and other soccer-mom-mobiles) is not that unique, and doesn't mean that there isn't a "real" locker in the driveline.
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
Toshi said:
http://trucks.about.com/library/photo/bl_06_h3_gal13.htm

having traction control that uses the brakes (like any number of minivans, crossover-utes, and other soccer-mom-mobiles) is not that unique, and doesn't mean that there isn't a "real" locker in the driveline.

Right, <Sorry had to read up> Its not that unique anymore, like i previously stated, it is getting more and more common, and also right about the locker, Positrack to be exact since we are talking about GM, just because it has teh traction program doesnt mean it doesnt have the Positrack system. I did not know, all i said was i would not be suprized!!
 

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
1,558
0
Duh, Austin
Was walking through downtown chicago with a friend of mine once and a guy pulls up in a corvette and looks at my friend and gives her a wink.

She says "nice car.....too bad about the penis." Guy squealed off embarassed.

Enjoy your hummer, too bad about the penis.
 

justsomeguy

Monkey
Oct 3, 2005
723
0
DirtyMike said:
Its not that unique anymore, like i previously stated, it is getting more and more common,
It wasn't even "unique" six years ago.

The technology has been in use by a number of manufacturers for quite a while.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,747
8,747
Brian HCM#1 said:
So why all the H3 hate?
a) style (hummer badge) over substance (gussied up colorado platform)
b) it'll be driven by assholes with a high degree of certainty