Fort Willy
- Thread starter Westy
- Start date
Well let me know when you’re “fast guys” French Fuck’s have the same amount of Win’s of my ginger crush.
Avy
some practice video
I soooo hope he will have a similarly good result tomorrow. That guy has more energy than most and always spreads good vibes.
I'm going to have to refrain from going online tomorrow during the race, since I have just learned I have to take my kid to his basketball game 
Aye, the grand circus has finally returned to the home of bog derived whiskey, midges, sheep porking and subsequent consumption of stuffed sheep colon. So its time to don our flannel skirts, paint our faces and start guzzling Aristocrat scotch - onto the analysis!
* the Gwinger may or may not have lost a lot of money on his house with leaky windows. But we can confidently say he has definitely lost WC podium pace. Jeebus can be a fickle SOB.
* Amaury is a ghost
* the track technically can be ridden on a hardtail - a small bowl of gummies and/or shrooms would be strongly recommended before such a (fucking stupid) endeavor.
* Greg Minnaar > jeebus
* Me and @SuboptimusPrime decided that previous winners should be allowed to race as long as they want to give it a go. But they have to race on the bikes they won on. @Gary should also be allowed to race, albeit on a hardtail.
* Sexually assaulting sheep is a favorite pastime of both the Scots and New Zealanders...this may explain why these areas produce so many superb riders.
* With Finn and Loic on the bench, it looks like it will be another win and possible podium sweep for the idler mafia...in fact, perhaps the lack of an idler explains why Team Spesh got banged up. #IdlersForSafety
* The Earldom of Buchan is the home of my distant ancestors, which means I should be able to come to Scotland and claim my kingdom. Earl Jackalope would be a benevolent dictator and provide free gummies and shrooms to his subjects.
* It will probably rain tomorrow, and for 85% of the remaining days in the year.
More than enough insider info to figure out where things will shake out - inward and downward!
5. Elon Musk - so what does noted population expert and maker of @kidwoo 's favorite cars do when he's not trying to acquire a popular social media platform? He gets his 120 hr work week engineers to make him a space bike. Sporting a massive 69" wheel and more rotational mass than most moons, the Muskrat blasts through the chunky, original east coast rox to a solid 5th place finish. Elon don't need no stinkin idler!
4. Vlady Putin - so Vlad the Infailer is always on the look out for new countries to invade, which oddly brings him to a country populated by a people who were so god damned cantankerous the fucking Roman's built a wall to keep them out. This should go well. But Vladys is nothing if not suicidally determined, so he dons his track suit & white Pumas, and sets off down the track in a vintage T-72 tank. The tank makes short work of the classic Scottish landscape and cruises home to a strong 4th place finish. Vladys pops open a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the occasion, and the cork hits the autoloader release and it drops a live shell into the ammo magazine...упс
3. @Avy - whats the world's biggest Gwinger fan to do when his man crush has lost his way? Show him the way of course! Astride his homemade bike that is a bodged together collection of sliding glass door and window frames, our boy beats the track like a red headed stepchild. The secret to his amazing result is his one off Fleetwood frame starts leaking rain water on the way down, gaining mass (and speed) as he descends. Hydraulic mass technology is the next frontier in DH bike design (i.e. fuck idlers).
2. Madison Cawthorn- everyone's favorite self-crippled fucktron has some freetime on his hands, so he heads to Scotland in hopes of burying his face in magical white cocaine pigs (only discovering later they're called sheep). Sporting the latest Victoria Secret lingerie, Maddy straps himself in his 29er wheelie chair and lays down a heater of a run. "Sadly", after his run, he was rolling over to see his bro Vladys when the tank explodes and the turret lands on Maddy. His ashes are later collected and spread over the toilet in Train Spotting.
1. Gee Mother Fucking Atherton - everyone wanking on about Rachel and Dan showing up, and no one saw the original Roman Centurion making a glorious return to the top step. Mended up from breaking 83% of his bones, Lord Bummer is on fire back on his Commie from yesteryear. No idler, no problem bitches. After winning, he guzzles down a tall glass of prune juice to ensure he looks pissed throughout the entire awards ceremony. MakeAthertonGreatAgain.
Lasses:
1. Cami may be the new sheriff in town
2. The Hoff!
3. Vali - no total domination yet
4. PomPom - FFS please don't bonk your head
5. Amber Heard if she doesn't shit the bed
* the Gwinger may or may not have lost a lot of money on his house with leaky windows. But we can confidently say he has definitely lost WC podium pace. Jeebus can be a fickle SOB.
* Amaury is a ghost
* the track technically can be ridden on a hardtail - a small bowl of gummies and/or shrooms would be strongly recommended before such a (fucking stupid) endeavor.
* Greg Minnaar > jeebus
* Me and @SuboptimusPrime decided that previous winners should be allowed to race as long as they want to give it a go. But they have to race on the bikes they won on. @Gary should also be allowed to race, albeit on a hardtail.
* Sexually assaulting sheep is a favorite pastime of both the Scots and New Zealanders...this may explain why these areas produce so many superb riders.
* With Finn and Loic on the bench, it looks like it will be another win and possible podium sweep for the idler mafia...in fact, perhaps the lack of an idler explains why Team Spesh got banged up. #IdlersForSafety
* The Earldom of Buchan is the home of my distant ancestors, which means I should be able to come to Scotland and claim my kingdom. Earl Jackalope would be a benevolent dictator and provide free gummies and shrooms to his subjects.
* It will probably rain tomorrow, and for 85% of the remaining days in the year.
More than enough insider info to figure out where things will shake out - inward and downward!
5. Elon Musk - so what does noted population expert and maker of @kidwoo 's favorite cars do when he's not trying to acquire a popular social media platform? He gets his 120 hr work week engineers to make him a space bike. Sporting a massive 69" wheel and more rotational mass than most moons, the Muskrat blasts through the chunky, original east coast rox to a solid 5th place finish. Elon don't need no stinkin idler!
4. Vlady Putin - so Vlad the Infailer is always on the look out for new countries to invade, which oddly brings him to a country populated by a people who were so god damned cantankerous the fucking Roman's built a wall to keep them out. This should go well. But Vladys is nothing if not suicidally determined, so he dons his track suit & white Pumas, and sets off down the track in a vintage T-72 tank. The tank makes short work of the classic Scottish landscape and cruises home to a strong 4th place finish. Vladys pops open a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the occasion, and the cork hits the autoloader release and it drops a live shell into the ammo magazine...упс
3. @Avy - whats the world's biggest Gwinger fan to do when his man crush has lost his way? Show him the way of course! Astride his homemade bike that is a bodged together collection of sliding glass door and window frames, our boy beats the track like a red headed stepchild. The secret to his amazing result is his one off Fleetwood frame starts leaking rain water on the way down, gaining mass (and speed) as he descends. Hydraulic mass technology is the next frontier in DH bike design (i.e. fuck idlers).
2. Madison Cawthorn- everyone's favorite self-crippled fucktron has some freetime on his hands, so he heads to Scotland in hopes of burying his face in magical white cocaine pigs (only discovering later they're called sheep). Sporting the latest Victoria Secret lingerie, Maddy straps himself in his 29er wheelie chair and lays down a heater of a run. "Sadly", after his run, he was rolling over to see his bro Vladys when the tank explodes and the turret lands on Maddy. His ashes are later collected and spread over the toilet in Train Spotting.
1. Gee Mother Fucking Atherton - everyone wanking on about Rachel and Dan showing up, and no one saw the original Roman Centurion making a glorious return to the top step. Mended up from breaking 83% of his bones, Lord Bummer is on fire back on his Commie from yesteryear. No idler, no problem bitches. After winning, he guzzles down a tall glass of prune juice to ensure he looks pissed throughout the entire awards ceremony. MakeAthertonGreatAgain.
Lasses:
1. Cami may be the new sheriff in town
2. The Hoff!
3. Vali - no total domination yet
4. PomPom - FFS please don't bonk your head
5. Amber Heard if she doesn't shit the bed
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god bless you, @jackalope, god bless.
now get yer ass up to snowshoe next weekend, or somewhere in the local hills in the subsequent weeks....
now get yer ass up to snowshoe next weekend, or somewhere in the local hills in the subsequent weeks....
I enjoy the existence jackalope more than the fannypackpitviper29 that mtb has become.
carry on my wayward son
carry on
carry on my wayward son
carry on
I once had the local semi-pro/expert-race team founder guy tell me to run less pressure to avoid pinch flats.
But when you add it all up, inserts, wide rims, carbon fiber rims, wider tires, tubeless, vibrocores, suspension stems, you should be able to run about -23 psi.
Watching people flat in races is hugely satisfying, especially when they've bought into the ultra-low PSI shit. Today one of the gravel guys trying to get "moar traction" by running mtb pressures flatted early in the race. Ran into them again walking their bike back on the 2nd lap.
All I know is flatting is a lot slower!
.Aye, the grand circus has finally returned to the home of bog derived whiskey, midges, sheep porking and subsequent consumption of stuffed sheep colon. So its time to don our flannel skirts, paint our faces and start guzzling Aristocrat scotch - onto the analysis!
* the Gwinger may or may not have lost a lot of money on his house with leaky windows. But we can confidently say he has definitely lost WC podium pace. Jeebus can be a fickle SOB.
* Amaury is a ghost
View attachment 176714
* the track technically can be ridden on a hardtail - a small bowl of gummies and/or shrooms would be strongly recommended before such a (fucking stupid) endeavor.
* Greg Minnaar > jeebus
* Me and @SuboptimusPrime decided that previous winners should be allowed to race as long as they want to give it a go. But they have to race on the bikes they won on. @Gary should also be allowed to race, albeit on a hardtail.
* Sexually assaulting sheep is a favorite pastime of both the Scots and New Zealanders...this may explain why these areas produce so many superb riders.
* With Finn and Loic on the bench, it looks like it will be another win and possible podium sweep for the idler mafia...in fact, perhaps the lack of an idler explains why Team Spesh got banged up. #IdlersForSafety
* The Earldom of Buchan is the home of my distant ancestors, which means I should be able to come to Scotland and claim my kingdom. Earl Jackalope would be a benevolent dictator and provide free gummies and shrooms to his subjects.
* It will probably rain tomorrow, and for 85% of the remaining days in the year.
More than enough insider info to figure out where things will shake out - inward and downward!
5. Elon Musk - so what does noted population expert and maker of @kidwoo 's favorite cars do when he's not trying to acquire a popular social media platform? He gets his 120 hr work week engineers to make him a space bike. Sporting a massive 69" wheel and more rotational mass than most moons, the Muskrat blasts through the chunky, original east coast rox to a solid 5th place finish. Elon don't need no stinkin idler!
4. Vlady Putin - so Vlad the Infailer is always on the look out for new countries to invade, which oddly brings him to a country populated by a people who were so god damned cantankerous the fucking Roman's built a wall to keep them out. This should go well. But Vladys is nothing if not suicidally determined, so he dons his track suit & white Pumas, and sets off down the track in a vintage T-72 tank. The tank makes short work of the classic Scottish landscape and cruises home to a strong 4th place finish. Vladys pops open a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the occasion, and the cork hits the autoloader release and it drops a live shell into the ammo magazine...упс
3. @Avy - whats the world's biggest Gwinger fan to do when his man crush has lost his way? Show him the way of course! Astride his homemade bike that is a bodged together collection of sliding glass door and window frames, our boy beats the track like a red headed stepchild. The secret to his amazing result is his one off Fleetwood frame starts leaking rain water on the way down, gaining mass (and speed) as he descends. Hydraulic mass technology is the next frontier in DH bike design (i.e. fuck idlers).
2. Madison Cawthorn- everyone's favorite self-crippled fucktron has some freetime on his hands, so he heads to Scotland in hopes of burying his face in magical white cocaine pigs (only discovering later they're called sheep). Sporting the latest Victoria Secret lingerie, Maddy straps himself in his 29er wheelie chair and lays down a heater of a run. "Sadly", after his run, he was rolling over to see his bro Vladys when the tank explodes and the turret lands on Maddy. His ashes are later collected and spread over the toilet in Train Spotting.
1. Gee Mother Fucking Atherton - everyone wanking on about Rachel and Dan showing up, and no one saw the original Roman Centurion making a glorious return to the top step. Mended up from breaking 83% of his bones, Lord Bummer is on fire back on his Commie from yesteryear. No idler, no problem bitches. After winning, he guzzles down a tall glass of prune juice to ensure he looks pissed throughout the entire awards ceremony. MakeAthertonGreatAgain.
Lasses:
1. Cami may be the new sheriff in town
2. The Hoff!
3. Vali - no total domination yet
4. PomPom - FFS please don't bonk your head
5. Amber Heard if she doesn't shit the bed
Best one in awhile. Fuck I need to get to the US just to buy you a beer dude. Legit awesomeness.
Don't hassle The Hoff!
fuck. dak was on a great run.
dammit luca!
good racing. NEXT !
Looks likely
I think the industry need some wireless electric AXS goggle roll-offs.
Actually they exist. Could have been a game changer here.
The Ripper - Universal Automated Goggle Roll-Off System
The world's first universal automated electronic goggle roll-off system. Featuring a wireless handlebar mounted button to clear the mud from your goggles.
riskracing.com