Fundamentalist Christian Sasquatch Hunters, also conspiracy theorists:


Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
Finally, the voice of reason!

There isn't any big money to be made by politicians in regards to squatches, they'd rather turn a blind eye and concentrate on ways to fatten their wallets. That's why most people go into politics-- it opens up a whole world of financial opportunities, legal and otherwise.

When these animals are proven to exist (and they will be, because of people like us) governments will have a big problem on their hands. People will either be wanting to kill squatches because of irrational fear, or protect them so much that regular Joe Sixpack won't be able to go out into the woods and possibly experience them. Our jobs will eventually turn into educators (that's what I'm planning for myself, anyway) telling the public there is no danger with these animals. On the flip side, I could see the government restricting people from going into these habitat areas (which are literally everywhere) either by claiming "eminent domain" and taking private property or keeping people from going into state parks and national forests... both ideas are repugnant to me. All that governments need to do is provide a stiff jail sentence and fine for anyone killing a squatch, and the survival instincts of these incredible animals will take care of the rest...


Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
Nowhere Man!
When I 12, about 1 year after I was abducted by aliens. I was raped by a female sasquatch. After "they" stopped laughing at me for crying afterwards. I realized that even though I would need to wear adult diapers from that day on, that something special happened to me....


Ociffer Tackleberry
Feb 27, 2002
Blindly running into cactus
Joe Sixpack won't be able to go out into the woods and possibly experience them
i'm really not down with going into the woods to "experience" a "squatch." i have enough problems getting the memory of my uncle and his candy bowl out of my head :twitch:

killing a squatch
i think this should be the new teen slang for getting laid. "heck yeah dude...i got her wasted and killed that squatch!"

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
Duh, Austin
No, "killing a squatch" will be like "burning a mule". A really good sunday morning dump, after that second cup of coffee.

I killed a squatch this morning.