[golgiaparatus]

I'll start with one.

This was in a duplex with my long time buddy after college. We spent so much time riding and getting ripped so we didn't exactly clean house... ever.

One week the kitchen got crazy with fruit flies because of some limes from a party (tequila). I came home to my buddy running around yelling "die" and wielding a can of air freshener and a lighter... he was napalming the bastards and there were tiny scorched fruit fly carcasses all over the kitchen floor. Place smelled good though.

 

[Pesqueeb]

My first apartment we installed a dartboard in the kitchen. We routinely threw darts from outside, through the living area, and across the kitchen, very few ever hit the board. I pushed a friend though the wall of the kitchen into the bathroom, and once had the police show up during an especially heated 2 player game of Mario Kart. Alcohol was always involved. Good times.

 

[Total Heckler]

Lots of good times have come from this wonderful little game.

 

[jonKranked]

speaking of dartboards, our house rule was that if you wanted to play darts, you had to hold the dartboard for your opponent.

 

[golgiaparatus]

My first apartment we installed a dartboard in the kitchen. We routinely threw darts from outside, through the living area, and across the kitchen, very few ever hit the board. I pushed a friend though the wall of the kitchen into the bathroom, and once had the police show up during an especially heated 2 player game of Mario Kart. Alcohol was always involved. Good times.

LOL! Around 1996-7. We use to play very competitive games of something we liked to call "hallucinogenic" Tekken.

 

[golgiaparatus]

Lots of good times have come from this wonderful little game.

How does that game work?

 

[Cooter Brown]

when I lived in Lawrence, my neighbor built a spud cannon, so we would get all likkerd up & drill holes into potatoes & insert some cheapy glow sticks so we could track the flight trajectory at night & commence to launching spuds 200 - 300 yards across the street & into an empty field. This, along with the miniature cannon, dry ice bombs & even the guns from time to time always made for interesting evenings in my hood.

 

[CastleMaster]

I passed out (wasted) on my bed one night after turning the shower on to let the water warm up. Well, I must have engaged the plug somehow because I woke up around five the next morning to the sound of the maintenance guy BANGING on my front door.

As I rolled out of bed (still have no idea what's going on) I stepped onto about three inches of water. The ENTIRE apartment was flooded to the point that water was pouring through the floor and showering all of the cars parked in their stalls below my unit. Ended up costing me $3000. Thank God there wasn't another unit below mine.

 

[eaterofdog]

We built a 3 ft halfpipe with 5 ft tombstone (w vert) in the living room. I still crouch down when I do 50-50s.

 

[Westy]

Pack stairs with snow, go sledding.

 

[nelsonjm]

A roomate was getting noisy in their room so I threw another roomate through their door. That was followed by a shreik and 15 minutes of laughter.

White spraypaint and plaster should be a staple for all college apartments.

 

[badphish]

LOL! Around 1996-7. We use to play very competitive games of something we liked to call "hallucinogenic" Tekken.

+1

We played Tekken 2 almost nonstop for a semester. There were anywhere from 3 to 8 people in my room at any given time passing the controllers and bongs around. There were a core group that did it, plus random friends would rotate in and out. That was very competitive very fun times. My room mate that owned the playstation flunked out that semester. The next couple of semesters we played multiplayer Goldeneye. That was even better.

I'll have to find the picture and scan it, but one of my room mates passed out one night and we decorated him with every liquor bottle we could find in the house.

 

[Greyhound]

when I lived in Lawrence, my neighbor built a spud cannon, so we would get all likkerd up & drill holes into potatoes & insert some cheapy glow sticks so we could track the flight trajectory at night & commence to launching spuds 200 - 300 yards across the street & into an empty field. This, along with the miniature cannon, dry ice bombs & even the guns from time to time always made for interesting evenings in my hood.

Ha!! That's funny...I have a similar story from back in the collegiate days. We were tripping on acid one scorching hot night and got out the spud cannon. We climbed on top of the roof at my friends house and started firing off spuds into the side of the apartment about a hundred feet away. Target practice, I guess...we were on acid, so who knows what logic we were applying to the feat. Anyways, after going through a sack of crusty, near-rotting spuds and laughing like schoolgirls, the police cruiser comes up. Apparently there was a girl in the apartment that we were beaning with the taters who thought there was someone trying to break in. We sat up on that roof and tried to compose ourselves as best as one possibly could while on an intense acid trip and giggled at the hysterical chick with the rotten taters.

 

[AzToJrse]

going back 5 years ago living in arizona with 2 other friends, it was the night i met my now fiance. we had been at the bar all night, met said girl, we were all back at our house partying more when one roomate has one of his many girls come over. me and my now fiance were in back yard starting to make out and what not when i turn to look through bay window in kitchen to see a naked girl sprawled out on the island in the kitchen getting stuffed by one roomate. then i see the other roomate getting into the action rubbing sprawled girls chest pouring olive oil on her. while this makes me laugh, the girl i am with turns to see what i am laughing at see's the whole thing. it took a lot of explaining to make her believe i was not like them, and she then spent the night.

 

[bdamschen]

The college apartments I lived at were lined back to back with some green space in between. Pretty much if you had a party, the apartment backed up to yours on the other street was going to hear it.

One semester, some cranky girls moved in to the place behind ours, and would call the cops to complain about noise at the stupidest little things, even if it was broad day light on a Saturday. This posed a problem since we didn't usually have stupid little things happen, more like stupid big things and at all hours of the day. It turned into a pretty bitter rivalry.

One fine evening everyone was having a good ol drunk time when one of the cranky ladies came out on her upstairs back balcony to yell that she was going to call the cops. The tatical decision was made to thwart this effort by launching a half open bag of flour through her left open back door using our favorite 3 man water balloon launcher (hey, we we college students, not college GRADUATES). Hidden behind the back fence, everyone lined up, checked the wind, took aim and let the bag of flour fly at about a million miles an hour.

Everything was going according to plan until "Flour Bag Susie" walked right back out through her back door holding up her cordless phone to show she was about to dial. She got hit square in the head and went down in an explosion of flour, knocked out cold. Oh damn.

That took a while to sort out, especially since Susie was never quite sure what the heck happened.

 

[blackohio]

I had a habit of stealing concrete sculptures. Brought home a concrete duck. We named it Quim and as I was bringing it inside to sit in the living room I dropped it. This ****ing thing had to weight 50 or 60 lbs if not more. Well I dropped it from waist high directly between two of the 2'x8' beams that supported the floor. Quim lived in the basement.

We used to break into our neighbors house and put **** in hidden all over their place. These were 4 hick girls form god knows where going to Ohio state. So one night we sneak into their place with whats left of Quim. Actually he was whole just banged up pretty good and put him tucked under the covers into one of the girls beds. She was not amused.

The guys who lived next door were a bunch of meatwad frat dudes. We were 6 skateboarders and about 10 friends always there, so as you can imagine it was never that dull. the had a party one night and kept their keg on the back porch. We decided to borrow it. Jumped the fence, copped their keg and set in in our kitchen within sight of their patio. we invited friends over and simply drank the keg. Fight ensued, once the keg was empty my roommate put it back on their patio with a note "thanks, next time buy better beer."

About 4 houses down the street there was this punk band called New Bomb Turks. They were douches. Walking home from skating one day, me and a friend we called 40hands saw their front door open and this pristine beige leather couch in the living room. wheels turned and before either of us had a chance to even verbalize what to do we were creeping into their living room. Didnt see anyone, so we picked up the couch, walked it down the street and into our house. One super drunken night a couple weeks later, my roommate Scott Pazelt (who was a drunken mess) drew dinosaurs all over the couch. Then we wrote Jurassic Couch on it. If you slept on the couch in the summer you'd wake up with dinosaur outlines all over you. Once the couch lost amusement to us, it went on the front porch.

maybe we, were the douchebags and not everyone else.

 

[HAB]

A friend chased his roommate (another good friend of mine) through a plate glass window wielding a 10" butcher knife. The dude with the knife decided the guy that went through the window was taking too long with his GF, and decided to intervene. I was outside at the time, and the image of my friend running head long through a plate glass window, ass naked, was PRICELESS.

My roommate and I are prone to opening beer bottles on a doorknob, and leaving the caps where they fall. I woke up one morning, needed to piss, and cut my feet 3 times in the 12' or so from my bed to the bathroom door. We try to clean up a little better now.

More later, I'm at work.

 

[jimmydean]

Some time in March (many years ago), I was in the garage having a smoke and was looking at the Christmas tree that was still in the stand, dry and crusty. I recalled a news story about what a fire hazard trees are because people forget to water them or whatever.

I poked it with my cig and the thing burst into flames! I opened the garage door and kicked it outside. My roommates couldn't figure out why there was a scorched tree in the driveway. It stayed there until we all moved out of the house in May. You could see all the torched floor beams (split level house with garage under the living room) where the tree used to be, nobody seemed to notice.

 

[Total Heckler]

How does that game work?

Drop the coin down and drink. Repeat until you cant feel feelings anymore.

 

[KavuRider]

Wow...great stories.
I have none to share unfortunately...never had a roommate.

 

[kazlx]

Roomy has a chick over and they finish up around 10. One of my roommates is out in the upstairs hall ironing and my other roommate is brushing his teeth. This chick is already embarrassed enough about having to do the walk of shame. She comes out of the room, walks down the hall, goes to take the first step downstairs, slips and falls down the stairs. It was all we couldn't do to keep from busting up. Once we hear the front door open and close...extreme laughter ensued.

It was also common practice since two of us shared a wall, that when things were going good with a chick in our room, we would bang on the wall. Then the other person would bang back. It was funny just because it was an inside jokes and the girls would always be confused as to what was going on. Or I would have the chick hit the wall and then my roomy would hit back and the look of confusion is priceless.

 

[jonKranked]

One night in college me and the roomies (all bmx and dh kids) and a few friends were sitting around drinking. It was like 7pm on a Saturday night, and for some reason one of our housemates was upstairs doing work or some sh*t. There was an townhouse across the street where a bunch of frat dudes lived. We constantly fvcked with each other, but this was the night that stopped it. Out of nowhere our front door opens and 2 of the frat bros just walk in all "hey what's going on guys!?" I just tell them to get the fvck out or there's gonna be problems. They refuse to leave so I yell to my roomie upstairs "yo nick we gotta problem!" (aside: it was always best to let nick deal with things. he had a short fuse, he was a former wrestler, and was a bmx'er, and an all around nutjob). I hear him get up, and storm over to the stairs. From there he saw who it was, and decided it was a good idea to jump down the ENTIRE flight of stairs and drop kick the one frat guy square in the chest, causing him to break our front door off the hinges and fly out onto the sidewalk. Nick gets up laughing hysterically, the remaining conscious frat brother panics and runs out. Cops show up, frat boys started screaming for them to arrest us. They were about to, until we told them they they just walked into our place and refused to leave.

 

[blackohio]

One night in college me and the roomies (all bmx and dh kids) and a few friends were sitting around drinking. It was like 7pm on a Saturday night, and for some reason one of our housemates was upstairs doing work or some sh*t. There was an townhouse across the street where a bunch of frat dudes lived. We constantly fvcked with each other, but this was the night that stopped it. Out of nowhere our front door opens and 2 of the frat bros just walk in all "hey what's going on guys!?" I just tell them to get the fvck out or there's gonna be problems. They refuse to leave so I yell to my roomie upstairs "yo nick we gotta problem!" (aside: it was always best to let nick deal with things. he had a short fuse, he was a former wrestler, and was a bmx'er, and an all around nutjob). I hear him get up, and storm over to the stairs. From there he saw who it was, and decided it was a good idea to jump down the ENTIRE flight of stairs and drop kick the one frat guy square in the chest, causing him to break our front door off the hinges and fly out onto the sidewalk. Nick gets up laughing hysterically, the remaining conscious frat brother panics and runs out. Cops show up, frat boys started screaming for them to arrest us. They were about to, until we told them they they just walked into our place and refused to leave.

got a good similar one. Skating OSU's campus two white hats roll up to my friend Nick. nick is like 5'2" 80lbs. Start talking **** to him, as were all cruising over Nick swings his board and hits the dude closest to him direct on the elbow bone with the truck(more importantly the kingpin). We heard his elbow crack. Dude just drops screaming, other bro just backs up helps screaming dude up and they leave.

We got jumped one night by a buncha whitehats. So like once a week when we would leave this punk dive bar on campus ( one of the streets it was off was directly near a frat house) we'd back a car up and jump over the wall into their parking lot. Many windows, headlights, soft top jeep covers felt the pain their owners had caused us. this continued for a few months.

 

[sstalder5]

got a good similar one. Skating OSU's campus two white hats roll up to my friend Nick. nick is like 5'2" 80lbs. Start talking **** to him, as were all cruising over Nick swings his board and hits the dude closest to him direct on the elbow bone with the truck(more importantly the kingpin). We heard his elbow crack. Dude just drops screaming, other bro just backs up helps screaming dude up and they leave.

We got jumped one night by a buncha whitehats. So like once a week when we would leave this punk dive bar on campus ( one of the streets it was off was directly near a frat house) we'd back a car up and jump over the wall into their parking lot. Many windows, headlights, soft top jeep covers felt the pain their owners had caused us. this continued for a few months.

Nobody wants to hear about some wimpy skater punks vandalizing sh!t after they get their asses beat. Fastfoward to the part where you guys get your asses beat again

 

[fortenndu]

My friends have a rule that if anyone leaves a backpack out in the common area of their apartment the days blunt guts get put in it, same goes for shoes, that place stays amazingly clean.

 

[binary visions]

I went over to see a couple of my friends after work one day.

Let me preface this by saying that one of the guys living there was a klepto and used to steal tons of bizarre and often large (but usually harmless and worthless) items that weren't bolted down. One day he came in pushing one of those 5-gallon water jugs that fits on the dispenser, on his skateboard. He had just picked one up out of the back of a truck and pushed it home on the skateboard.

So I'm walking to the door and as I'm walking down the (cinderblock) outer wall I'm hearing:

<small laughs>

*THWOCK!*

<laughter>

*THWOCK! THWOCK!*

<more loud laughter>

I open the door just in time to find out that the loud noises were apples, being pitched as hard as possible against the cinderblock wall, absolutely exploding into applesauce and shards of skin and showering me as I walked in.

The klepto dude was skateboarding home and saw three or four crates of apples outside the loading dock of a store, so he picked one up and brought it home. Logically, of course, what do you do when you're high, have roughly two hundred apples, and zero concern for the welfare of your house? See how hard you can throw them against the wall.

After we got done, it looked like someone had... well, I'm not sure there's anything similar to seeing and smelling the juice, guts, seeds and skin of a couple hundred apples plastered all over the inside of a room. It's truly a unique experience.

 

[fortenndu]

Binary that is awesome. One night when my friends and I were hammered and thought that we should set up a body shots obstacle course and have races with it. The start was jumping over a big stack of pillows down 6 stairs and there was a girl on the landing, my buddy is hammered and baked out of his mind, he starts sprinting towards the stairs, leaps into the air, overshoots the landing, slams into the wall, lands next to the girl, looks at her and says, "you looked so much further away from up there, this is your fault."

 

[Colonel Angus]

BEST THREAD EVAR ! ! !

 

[HAB]

About a week into my sophomore year, a friend accidentally threw a 16" long black dildo through the window of a freshman girl, who was asleep in bed directly below said window. Where said dildo came from is unclear, but someone (he doesn't remember who) tried to slap him with it, and his only drunken thought was to get it as far away from himself as possible, which ended in him trying to throw it onto the roof, and coming up short. About 5 minutes later as we're all still standing outside trying to figure out what to do, the girl runs outside with a sleeping bag, on her phone, clearly trying to find somewhere else to stay.

One night a friend got all kinds of drunk and ended up going to bed in the room exactly 1 floor above his. I guess the door was unlocked so he just rolled in and passed out. The rightful occupant of the bed (who was in it) was far from impressed.

One night one of the guys I live with came back at about 3am, and found his door locked. He asked me if his roommate had brought a girl back. I didn't know, and we hung around shooting the breeze for a bit longer. After a couple more beers (and I was decently well lubricated, so to speak, to begin with) I decided it was time to intervene. My friend gives me his key, and I open his door. As my eyes adjust, to the dark, the first thing I see is a girl sitting cross legged in the middle of the floor, in her bra and panties, pretty much just staring at the wall. The next thing I see is my friend, ass naked, spread eagled on his bed, dead to the world. She turns to me and says, "oh, sorry,he passed out but he's ok, you can just go to bed, I'll be out of here in a minute." I look at her for a moment, and decide it would be a good idea to say "well, this isn't actually my room, but we could make a detour by there on your way out..." She slapped me and left.

 

[fortenndu]

If that girl was Ariel Berman I'm going to die laughing. Please say it was.

 

[HAB]

If that girl was Ariel Berman I'm going to die laughing. Please say it was.

Unfortunately not.

 

[fortenndu]

Unfortunately not.

Damn, her brother and I were childhood bestfriends, I haven't seen either of them in ages. Is she still the "perfect" child?

 

[HAB]

Damn, her brother and I were childhood bestfriends, I haven't seen either of them in ages. Is she still the "perfect" child?

I really don't know her at all, so can't really say.

 

[gonefirefightin]

I am just going to back out of this thread slowly as if I never saw it......

 

[rockarollah]

Here's wishing I went away for university... good stories .

 

[BadDNA]

Where the heck is Burly...

 

[DirtMcGirk]

We had a 200 person party one night in our section of the college apartments one night some years ago at the University of Oregon. It was right after they told us that the campus was going dry, which confused and angered us.

My buddies, all high out of our minds at the time, ****ed up and all bought kegs for the party, so there were 12 kegs at this thing. In Oregon you have to fill out a keg license form to take the thing, and of course being high, we kinda messed up and all put the same address.

The last thing I really remember was the sounds of cops beating sticks on riot shields, my buddy Shaun turning on RATM at full volume and pointing the speakers out the window, and me taking off all of my clothes.

I woke up the next morning in an apartment that smelled of CS, I had no clothes on, my eye brows had been shaved off, and I had one hand in handcuffs.

The phone was ringing, which is what woke me up. It was my mom on the other end. "So honey, saw you on the news this morning..."

Let's just say I still live with two of those guys, and it was a very frigid welcome home for Christmas break from my folks that year....

 

[badphish]

We had some friends over one night before Christmas. At some point we decided we needed a Christmas tree, so I got my room mates double bitted axe and we all shuffled out the door and started walking around town. It was sometime after midnight and there were about 20 of us walking around like a mob with flashlights and the axe. We ended up getting divided up into three groups. I ended up chopping down an evergreen type tree from a church's yard, one of the other groups stole a concrete statue of a little black boy with a fishing pole, and the other group unearthed a 2' tall pine tree, roots and all, out of somebody's driveway entrance. We ended up putting the small tree inside a beer box as a stand and set it on the TV.

 

[w00dy]

There are a lot of stupid things on the list. Most of the funny ones involve throwing stuff off the roof of a dorm tower with a water balloon launcher.

I got booted off campus for a weekend while they deliberated on whether or not to kick me out. Apparently paintball guns are still considered guns. I still have a letter from that which calls me a "clear and present danger to myself and others". Managed to talk my way out of that somehow.

The dumbest thing is one that I won't talk about on a public forum. I'll just say the campus had fliers up offering cash for any information about the incident.

 

[badphish]

We had a mushroom party one night with about 25 people. We had two full size couches on our porch. At some point in the night, there were three or for of us sitting on one of the couches talking about how fvcked up we were and how good the shrooms were. I don't know how long that went on, but I remember becoming aware that our next door neighbor was also on his porch. He was a cop in one of the neighboring towns. One by one, we slowly go up and went back inside. Amazingly, nothing ever came of it.