[JRB]

no link, but here's the first post. hahahaha

ever since i got my cell phone i get about 1 wrong number a week or more........

usually i just hassle them with bull**** or waste time talking about...whatever....

about 6:28 p.m. (a few minutes ago) the phone rings and i pick up.....


me: yup.....

caller (some kid): coach!

me: yup?

caller: it's me.

me: heeeeyyyy cindy!!

caller: noooo! it's jason! (ops!)

me: oooh yeah! what's up foo'!

caller: uh....(somewhat confused at the response)...what time is practice?

me: uh....6:30 (i didn't specify morning or evening so i'm covered either way)

caller: well....it's 6:30 right now and we're here at MacAlister and there's no one here.....

me: uh....(damn...should have looked at the clock first).....can i be straight with you?

caller: ok...

me: look man, i just found out Jesus was black! but don't tell you mom that! just tell your mom i'm going to take a little "time out" with my mistress....ok? hey Jimmy! you there?!?!

caller: uh....it's Jason, coach! (i could hear the mom saying "let me talk to him")

me: right....hey...did you guys ever find that Golden Fleece?

caller: what?!?! what are you talking about??? (mom again, "what's going on?")

me: ok so....just run some laps and and call it a day, ok?

caller: uhh...ok....my mom wants to talk to y...

me: ok! got to go! you know, the mistress and all! see ya!

i hang up.


i'm still waiting for a call back from the mom....nothing yet.....

 

[madbob]

that's to funny

 

[Skookum]

hehe
just run a few laps.....

 

[DRB]

black jesus..... man

 

[Trainwreck]

Pretty funny man. Of course, the child will be permanently scarred...

 

[MudGrrl]

when we get a call from telemarketers, we yell into the phone:

"Quit Calling Me, Al Quaeda!!!!!"



So if the NSA is listening in, they start messing with telemarketers.

 

[JRB]

in March...someone lady high up in some campaign office (during the elections) called looking for some so and so.....

caller: where is so and so (we'll say henry)....who is this?

me: this is james from G.N.C. henry went to the movies.

caller: the movies??? (she already getting pissed...almost as if to say, what the ****??? this guy has very important work to do...and he went to the movies??????)

me: yeah...he went to see Ultraviolet. did you see Ultraviolet?

caller: no...why didn't he take his phone???

me: dude, it's AWESOME! that chick is sabrosita!

caller: are you listening to me?!?!

me: her clothes actually change colors!

caller: hey!

me: what?

caller: what theater did he go to?!?!

me: the one downtown 'cause it was a date.

caller: (got very quiet like maybe they had a thing going) a date?

me: yeeeah (my best Rainman impression for this line).....downtown....

caller: (very calmly) can i ask you something?

me: yeeeah (Rainman again but she didn't get it)

caller: (still calmed down) who was she?

me: i don't know....some lady....he said they were going to meet at the Emily Morgan for drinks and then they'd see a movie....so he'd be out for a few hours....

caller: (under her breath) i can't believe this! (and she shouldn't have)......um.....has he seen her before?

me: of course! they meet every first Wednesday of the month for drinks and a movie.....but that's why he leaves his phone here....'cause it's rude...ya know?

caller: damnit! ok...listen...just tell him to call me as SOON as he gets back....

me: ok.....

caller: ok. (sign of fustration)


she hangs up

 

[JRB]

hahhahaha -

coincidence, my sister is pissed off at my nephew, jason's, soccer coach for flaking out on them and telling him some story about a mistress. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A MISTRESS IS!