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G.W. Bush's Resume

Trond

Monkey
Oct 22, 2002
288
0
Oslo, Norway
I got this on e-mail, if 10% of it is true it is still quite shocking.

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For those of you who think that George W. Bush has accomplished much in his esteemed career as president. Take a look at this impeccable resume. Take a look and tell me what you think.

Past work experience:
  • I ran for congress and lost.
  • I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
  • I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.
  • The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
  • I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
  • Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
  • With my father's help (and his name) I was elected Governor of Texas
Accomplishments as governor:
  • I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
  • I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.
  • I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
  • I set the record for most executions by any governor in American history.
  • I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the US Supreme Court
Accomplishments as president:
  • I attacked and took over two countries.
  • I spent the surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.
  • I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
  • I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
  • I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
  • I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
  • I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
  • In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
  • After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.
  • I set the record for more campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
  • In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
  • I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
  • I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
  • I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
  • I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
  • I set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
  • I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
  • My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.
  • I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
  • I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
  • I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
  • I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
  • I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/
  • Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).
  • I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously be bankrupt.
  • I resided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
  • I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
  • I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
  • I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
  • I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
  • I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
  • I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
  • I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
  • I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
  • I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
  • My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
  • I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
  • I am the first president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
  • I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).
  • I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
  • I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
  • I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
  • I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
  • I, with a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
  • I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
  • I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
  • I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
  • I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at a United States Senate Office building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
  • In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
  • I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
  • In a little over two years I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the Civil War.
Records and References:
  • I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (my Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
  • I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
  • I refuse to take drug tests or even answer any questions about drug use.
  • All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and are un-available for public view.
  • All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
  • All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
  • Any records or minutes from meetings that I (or VP Dick Cheney) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
56,394
22,472
Sleazattle
Originally posted by mrbigisbudgood
WOW.....I really with I had a picture of you right now, the resemblence is stunning!!!!!!!
:angry:
I am much better looking than Alfred E.
 

slein

Monkey
Jul 21, 2002
331
0
CANADA
what about drug policy? prostitution? lawyers billing by the hour?

i wanna see cheap movies get cheaper. i wanna see the st. lawrence seaway paved. i wanna see clear skies at night with no global warming.... add to that a complete ozone layer.

lastly i wanna see a right-wing candidate do it.

might as well vote for alfred E.
 

Repack

Turbo Monkey
Nov 29, 2001
1,889
0
Boston Area
You forgot:
"I cut federal aid to states, causing states to cut local aid, forcing cities and towns to lay off thousands of police officers, teachers, fire fighters, and other civil servants. But some folks got a $400 check."
 

Jr_Bullit

I'm sooo teenie weenie!!!
Sep 8, 2001
2,028
1
North of Oz
Originally posted by llkoolkeg
What a sad, thankless job the presidency is. No wonder the best-qualified candidates never run. :(
I don't think the best-qualified candidates would win...it is, in large part, still a popularity contest, and I think those that NEED to be in office also NEED to do some unpopular things...
 

Drunken_Ninja

Turbo Monkey
Aug 25, 2002
1,094
1
Hangin' with Riggs and Mertah
i was going to mention a few others also:

rejection of kyoto accord dissolved because it cost too much

the star wars program reactivation sending billions and billions of dollars into outerspace to 'defend the earth'.

president who had the most american embassies either destroyed or beseiged by protestors.

stripped the most fundamental civil liberties from a country's citizens while in turn gave speeches regarding the freedom to believe in onself and one's country and with that freedom comes other freedoms.

can you say psycho?
 

goosemagoo

Chimp
May 21, 2002
78
0
Virginia Beach, VA
Originally posted by Trond
I got this on e-mail, if 10% of it is true it is still quite shocking.
Even if 1/2 of it was true, I still wouldn't have voted for gore.

llkoolkeg was right about the best qualified candidates not running. That's probably why most people don't vote. Going to vote just so you can determine who the loser will be sux.:(

And I'll still take Bush's resume over saddam's any day. I hope he gets the :nuts: he deserves soon because I'm sick of hearing about our men dying over there.
 

BikeGeek

BrewMonkey
Jul 2, 2001
4,577
277
Hershey, PA
Originally posted by Drunken_Ninja
the star wars program reactivation sending billions and billions of dollars into outerspace to 'defend the earth'.
As someone who does budgeting for The Missile Defense Agency, I can say with 99% certainty that the "star wars" program has not been reactivated and remains in it's grave and that billions and billions of dollars are not going in to outerspace to defend the earth.
 

Archslater

Monkey
Mar 6, 2003
154
0
Indianapolis
While I am by no means a Bush supporter, I think it is funny that posts like this always refer to all of these terrible occurances as direct accomplishments of the president himself. Last I checked, Bush is not king, but we have 3 branches of government. The house and senate (also elected by the people) have a lot of say in these matters. I understand that Bush is the most important, but please....... Last I checked he wasn't personally heading up the anthrax investigation, of tracking down Osama by himself.

Just a thought.
 

ummbikes

Don't mess with the Santas
Apr 16, 2002
1,794
0
Napavine, Warshington
Originally posted by Archslater
While I am by no means a Bush supporter, I think it is funny that posts like this always refer to all of these terrible occurances as direct accomplishments of the president himself. Last I checked, Bush is not king, but we have 3 branches of government. The house and senate (also elected by the people) have a lot of say in these matters. I understand that Bush is the most important, but please....... Last I checked he wasn't personally heading up the anthrax investigation, of tracking down Osama by himself.

Just a thought.
I'm sorry but this type of calm and reasoned comments are not allowed or encouraged here in the political debate forum.
 

Drunken_Ninja

Turbo Monkey
Aug 25, 2002
1,094
1
Hangin' with Riggs and Mertah
Originally posted by BikeGeek
As someone who does budgeting for The Missile Defense Agency, I can say with 99% certainty that the "star wars" program has not been reactivated and remains in it's grave and that billions and billions of dollars are not going in to outerspace to defend the earth.
then why the hell did the u.s. insist that canada give them money for this purpose? they had to agree here that they were going to go through with it or else...

what is the money really funnelling into then? I know that the US isn't the sole contributor to the project. I just know that canada hasn't been stepping up to the plate on the issue like they were supposed to and didn't until they were forced to comply.
 

slein

Monkey
Jul 21, 2002
331
0
CANADA
i dink dat d_N is speaking about the missile defence system - not star wars.




or, it could just be me. TO sucks! :D
 

Jr_Bullit

I'm sooo teenie weenie!!!
Sep 8, 2001
2,028
1
North of Oz
Originally posted by T0mo
you guys gotta chill out. bush won, gore lost, end of story.
I'm in denial and refuse to get in touch with reality. Chillage is not the direction I choose to head at this juncture. :)
 

syadasti

i heart mac
Apr 15, 2002
12,690
290
VT
Originally posted by Archslater
While I am by no means a Bush supporter, I think it is funny that posts like this always refer to all of these terrible occurances as direct accomplishments of the president himself. Last I checked, Bush is not king, but we have 3 branches of government. The house and senate (also elected by the people) have a lot of say in these matters. I understand that Bush is the most important, but please....... Last I checked he wasn't personally heading up the anthrax investigation, of tracking down Osama by himself.

Just a thought.
Bush's Adminstration is responsible though and Ashcroft has two different versions of the "Patriot" Act which will erode away at the foundations of our country like the Constitution. Your idea of checks and balances is not a part of Ashcroft "patriotic" vision.

Here is a page I found with a quick search which describes the issue.

Checks and balances don't always work under threats to our security. Just look at how many innocent people's lives Joseph McCarthy destroyed during the Cold War before people realized what he was doing was wrong.
 

BikeGeek

BrewMonkey
Jul 2, 2001
4,577
277
Hershey, PA
Originally posted by Drunken_Ninja
starwars missile defense system.

TO ain't for the weak, that is for sure.:nuts:
"Star Wars" was the name given to a space-based anti-missile concept, which included a system called "Brilliant Pebbles," by then-President Reagan, and has since been put to rest. There is, however a ground and sea -based Ballistic Missile Defense System that's been getting a lot of press for the past couple of years.

Here is some history if you're interested.
 

Drunken_Ninja

Turbo Monkey
Aug 25, 2002
1,094
1
Hangin' with Riggs and Mertah
You see, I understand your perspective now but canada freaks out and overdramatises anything that comes out of the US. So they implied within the media here that Star Wars may still be active. Other news agencies implied that Star Wars is what the program is all about.

Candian Media Jackal's Report

The fact that it is only a ground based system is the kind of thing that keeps canadians snubbing the old technology. If it is going to be Canadian made it has to be digital. If it is going to cost the taxpayers a fortune, it has to capture the imagination of Canadians.

Obviously they are still hamming it up and playing it all for what it is worth.
 

slein

Monkey
Jul 21, 2002
331
0
CANADA
w'up with this missile defence system: kill the bogey over CANADA so it won't reach its target in the US?

so long as we getta keep the salvage. i wonder who's gonna launch a missile over CANADA anyway? GREENLAND?b ALASKA (damn them alaskan separatists)
 

LoboDelFuego

Monkey
Mar 5, 2002
193
0
"I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government."

Cool. Sounds like a new Metal Gear Solid plot.
 

scofflaw23

Monkey
Mar 13, 2002
266
0
Raleigh
Originally posted by goosemagoo
And I'll still take Bush's resume over saddam's any day. I hope he gets the :nuts: he deserves soon because I'm sick of hearing about our men dying over there.
HUH? you really think that killing Hussein is going to just stop all the fighting in Iraq and that the US will withdraw our troops? come on, whether he gets killed or not, we're far from having control of that country and we're going to be there for many, many years.
 

golgiaparatus

Out of my element
Aug 30, 2002
7,340
41
Deep in the Jungles of Oklahoma
Originally posted by scofflaw23
HUH? you really think that killing Hussein is going to just stop all the fighting in Iraq and that the US will withdraw our troops? come on, whether he gets killed or not, we're far from having control of that country and we're going to be there for many, many years.
Exactly. That country has a very violent past. They arent going to forget it just because S.H. is dead. And they sure as hell arent going to forget it because our troops are over there.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
Originally posted by scofflaw23
HUH? you really think that killing Hussein is going to just stop all the fighting in Iraq and that the US will withdraw our troops? come on, whether he gets killed or not, we're far from having control of that country and we're going to be there for many, many years.
What do you truly know of the situation?

have you been to iraq lately?

Most american troops are set to be replaced by an international coalition within a couple of months, mostly headed by Poland and Spain. Of course, the blood hungry news reports any time a soldier twists his ankle in the area, so what would could you be expected to know?

We do not want control of the country, the main focus now, according to the general in charge of the operation who i saw at a conference this weekend is aimed at giving control back to the people. Dont always assume the worst. Iraq will be the richest country in the middle east within 20 years.
 

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,649
26
SF, CA
Originally posted by BurlySurly


have you been to iraq lately?
Has Bush? How about Rumsfield? Cheney? You?

If you don't have to go there to wage war on the place, I don't think you need to go there to express an opinion on the state of their politics.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
Originally posted by ohio
Has Bush? How about Rumsfield? Cheney? You?

If you don't have to go there to wage war on the place, I don't think you need to go there to express an opinion on the state of their politics.
I think having an actual interface of some kind with people who've had experience in the area that you know personally and trust counts for more than a view tainted by a ratings-craving, money-hungry wishes-he-was-famous ass clown with a video camera.

People love to disagree with the govt. for any reason just because they're gluttons for controversy. They wouldnt accept the truth if it were laid at their feet simply because it meant siding with the man.
 

Dog Welder

Turbo Monkey
Sep 7, 2001
1,123
0
Pasadena, CA
Originally posted by BurlySurly

Iraq will be the richest country in the middle east within 20 years.
How do we know this? My F.O. buddy just got back from Kuwait...he said that he's never seen a place so damn poor in his life. And Kuwait is supposed to be one of the richest countries in the Mid East. So if there's so many poor folks in Kuwait what about Iraq who has a much larger population?

Don't you realize that your commander in chief is a two faced liar? While "our" boys were over there kickin ass and taking names, and your CIC is proudly proclaiming that we have to "support our troops" congress approved a bill to CUT veteran benefits and he does nothing to stop it. How can you as a soldier support someone that doesn't support you?
 

Dog Welder

Turbo Monkey
Sep 7, 2001
1,123
0
Pasadena, CA
Originally posted by BurlySurly


People love to disagree with the govt. for any reason just because they're gluttons for controversy. They wouldnt accept the truth if it were laid at their feet simply because it meant siding with the man.
Does this also count if the president was a Democrat? Or only if he's a Republican?
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
Originally posted by Dog Welder
How do we know this? My F.O. buddy just got back from Kuwait...he said that he's never seen a place so damn poor in his life. And Kuwait is supposed to be one of the richest countries in the Mid East. So if there's so many poor folks in Kuwait what about Iraq who has a much larger population?

Don't you realize that your commander in chief is a two faced liar? While "our" boys were over there kickin ass and taking names, and your CIC is proudly proclaiming that we have to "support our troops" congress approved a bill to CUT veteran benefits and he does nothing to stop it. How can you as a soldier support someone that doesn't support you?
Your buddy is a Forward Observer, which means he walks around and calls in artillery or airstrikes.
The people i know actually have jobs that would require such knowledge AND they were a helluva lot closer than Kuwait. Now, maybe he does know something they dont...but i doubt it. I'll take the predictions of the people who I know have at least some sort of knowledge in the area.

Im not a soldier, first. But secondly, my benefits are not the only thing I care about with this country. I'll not paint myself as some kind of hero, but this isnt the kind of thing you do for a paycheck, at least its not supposed to be.

If you dont know already BUSH is a hit with the military community. Life in the military has gotten much better since Bush took over. The troops seem to like him, and i believe he is an adequate leader who honestly does what he believes is the right thing.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
Originally posted by Dog Welder
Does this also count if the president was a Democrat? Or only if he's a Republican?
People do this in any case because they want life to be a soap opera. They love drama. Remember that whole Clinton thing? Talk about a two faced liar:rolleyes:

I tend to lean more to the republican side of things I know, but i wont play bad politics if a democrat is doing good things, just because i want my guy in office. I dont even like most republicans out there, but i agree with much that they do. I want to start some kind of decent middle ground.