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Good for a chuckle: Police Comments

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by RhinofromWA, Sep 10, 2005.

  1. RhinofromWA

    RhinofromWA Brevity R Us

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    POLICE COMMENTS

    The following were taken from police car videos around the country:

    "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

    "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
    worthless document."

    "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

    "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

    "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
    help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

    "Warning? You want a war ning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a dog or a duck?"

    "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo."

    "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    "Just how big were those two beers?"

    "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    and the best one.....

    "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
     

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  2. rpk1988

    rpk1988 90210

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    Those are classic. It makes me want to become a cop.
     
  3. merrrrjig

    merrrrjig Turbo Monkey

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    Thats pretty funny! I like!
     
  4. Gex

    Gex Turbo Monkey

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    Awesome
     
  5. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    I like when they see how many times they can meow while writing a ticket.
     
  6. sunny

    sunny Grammar Civil Patrol

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    Traffic Cop: The job where the customer is always wrong...

    :D