Good Old Heroin takes my bud, Andy. Sorry if this is rambled, Ima all f'd up right now.
I'm not really sad, just in shock. Andy never wanted to live. Ever since I've known him he always talked about dying and wanting to be dead. He use to be a huge weight lifter. We met in high school. I use to jump up and punch out the ceiling tiles. One day this guy, Andy, saw me doing it and said "sheit, that's a guy I gotta hang with" lol. That's how we met. We were friends for years in High school and after. Weed, drinking, crazy driving, all of that. Andy was always flirting with death when we were younger. He grabbed an electrical fence once and said "I wonder what will happen if I touch my other hand to the car" D'OH.
I lost contact with him 6 years ago and then my x and I (Mindy, who I have a 7 year old daughter with), broke up a few years back and she showed up one day to drop off Sabina(our daughter) and she had Andy with her. We had always been friends, all of us even when Mindy and I were together. I guess they were dating, and Mindy wasn't mad at me anymore for leaving her, so I diddn't mind, and was happy for both of them. Andy looked so happy and fit, and full of life. Little did I know he was a heroin addict at the time. This was 2 years ago. Then they broke up. She (my X, Mindy) saved his life once when she found him OD'd on pills on the floor of his apartment. Then she found out he was doing heroin when he passed out in her bathroom with a needle in his arm. He got into treatment and methodone clinic, but also got psychiatric treatment, which ultimately killed him. He told them he heard voices, which is bullsheit. I even asked him about it and he said he thought he might get some good drugs if he said that to the doctor. Well, one of the good drugs they gave him was Thorazine, which is basically the end of the line for anti-psychotics. I've heard there's nothing stronger. It can actually cause people to lose their mind permanently. So 3 weeks ago, I saw Andy after 2 years or so at a church event where my daughter was singing. He was 350lbs, fat, sweating and could barely walk or talk. He was found last night by his brother and Dad in his little sheitty apartment down the street from the methodone clinic and close to where the bus would pick him up with the retarded people and other unfortunates to go to some job doing menial tasks. I can't picture him doing anything like that, again. Thorazine. He was supposed to have dinner with his family Monday night and he told them he diddn't feel good and was going to bed. Wednesday they found him, after he diddn't call for a day lying on his back with vomit coming out of his mouth. His father and brother went to his apartment to see if he was home. His dad walked out of the apartment when he opened the door and called for Andy. His brother walked into the bedroom and found him. It appeared he had choked to death. I'm in too much shock to even cry about it. I just talked with him last Monday. He said he was joining a gym and bought a mountain bike and wanted to go biking. I knew that was not possible with the condition he was in, and I told him "dude, you have to get off all those psychomeds, they are going to lill you" and they did. You have no idea how many times those words have rung in my head. Even though I might come off as a hard ass and a rager. The fact is, I only pretend to be a rager caus it's funny. I don't have an ounce of hate in me. I've hated and hated all my life and it ate my insides out. Now, I'm doing yoga and rejoining Aikido soon. It's crap like this that makes you realize how much all the physical CRAP you accumulate in your life is meaningless. Caus when something bad like this happens, it's all the stuff you thought that was so trivial that really matters. It's the small stuff that makes up life. I just can't believe this. I feel bad for my friend Andy, he was a hate the world type, but would help anyone and was as gentle as an ant despite his size. He's home now, where he always wanted to be. I truely think he really diddn't have it in himself to kill himself, so he sort of unconsciously went down this path on purpose. His family raised him in a very religious background and he knew he would not go to heaven if he killed himself. Makes you wonder. It's crap like this that makes me realize what really matters in life.
Kevin
I'm not really sad, just in shock. Andy never wanted to live. Ever since I've known him he always talked about dying and wanting to be dead. He use to be a huge weight lifter. We met in high school. I use to jump up and punch out the ceiling tiles. One day this guy, Andy, saw me doing it and said "sheit, that's a guy I gotta hang with" lol. That's how we met. We were friends for years in High school and after. Weed, drinking, crazy driving, all of that. Andy was always flirting with death when we were younger. He grabbed an electrical fence once and said "I wonder what will happen if I touch my other hand to the car" D'OH.
I lost contact with him 6 years ago and then my x and I (Mindy, who I have a 7 year old daughter with), broke up a few years back and she showed up one day to drop off Sabina(our daughter) and she had Andy with her. We had always been friends, all of us even when Mindy and I were together. I guess they were dating, and Mindy wasn't mad at me anymore for leaving her, so I diddn't mind, and was happy for both of them. Andy looked so happy and fit, and full of life. Little did I know he was a heroin addict at the time. This was 2 years ago. Then they broke up. She (my X, Mindy) saved his life once when she found him OD'd on pills on the floor of his apartment. Then she found out he was doing heroin when he passed out in her bathroom with a needle in his arm. He got into treatment and methodone clinic, but also got psychiatric treatment, which ultimately killed him. He told them he heard voices, which is bullsheit. I even asked him about it and he said he thought he might get some good drugs if he said that to the doctor. Well, one of the good drugs they gave him was Thorazine, which is basically the end of the line for anti-psychotics. I've heard there's nothing stronger. It can actually cause people to lose their mind permanently. So 3 weeks ago, I saw Andy after 2 years or so at a church event where my daughter was singing. He was 350lbs, fat, sweating and could barely walk or talk. He was found last night by his brother and Dad in his little sheitty apartment down the street from the methodone clinic and close to where the bus would pick him up with the retarded people and other unfortunates to go to some job doing menial tasks. I can't picture him doing anything like that, again. Thorazine. He was supposed to have dinner with his family Monday night and he told them he diddn't feel good and was going to bed. Wednesday they found him, after he diddn't call for a day lying on his back with vomit coming out of his mouth. His father and brother went to his apartment to see if he was home. His dad walked out of the apartment when he opened the door and called for Andy. His brother walked into the bedroom and found him. It appeared he had choked to death. I'm in too much shock to even cry about it. I just talked with him last Monday. He said he was joining a gym and bought a mountain bike and wanted to go biking. I knew that was not possible with the condition he was in, and I told him "dude, you have to get off all those psychomeds, they are going to lill you" and they did. You have no idea how many times those words have rung in my head. Even though I might come off as a hard ass and a rager. The fact is, I only pretend to be a rager caus it's funny. I don't have an ounce of hate in me. I've hated and hated all my life and it ate my insides out. Now, I'm doing yoga and rejoining Aikido soon. It's crap like this that makes you realize how much all the physical CRAP you accumulate in your life is meaningless. Caus when something bad like this happens, it's all the stuff you thought that was so trivial that really matters. It's the small stuff that makes up life. I just can't believe this. I feel bad for my friend Andy, he was a hate the world type, but would help anyone and was as gentle as an ant despite his size. He's home now, where he always wanted to be. I truely think he really diddn't have it in himself to kill himself, so he sort of unconsciously went down this path on purpose. His family raised him in a very religious background and he knew he would not go to heaven if he killed himself. Makes you wonder. It's crap like this that makes me realize what really matters in life.
Kevin
Sorry to hear...
