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Good plan for the U.S. of A.

Dirtjumper999

Turbo Monkey
Feb 13, 2005
1,556
0
Charlotte, NC
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan... what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. We will promise never to "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 day visits unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.

5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere". They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets "lost" or is taken by their army. The people who need it most get very little, anyway.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

9b) Use the buildings as replacement for the twin towers.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

Now, ain't that a winner of a plan.

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

- Robin Williams
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
For f*cks sake this moronic crap has been posted here more times than the other crap about Chuck Norris. It seems to be even more retarded each time as well. I propose the next person to post this gets a sulfuric acid enema.
 

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
Dirtjumper999 said:
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan... what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. We will promise never to "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.
I like the first two. Like how we "interfered" with Nazi Germany. Or our troops in the ex-West Germany or our military presence in Japan have no effect on the spread of communism.
 

dante

Unabomber
Feb 13, 2004
8,807
9
looking for classic NE singletrack
Dirtjumper999 said:
Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)
Hard to argue with that logic?? Bwahahahahahahahahahaha. Have fun with not buying from Saudi Arabia (we buy only 15% of our crude oil from them, and far less of our petroleum from them as well), as any oil we "didn't buy from them" would get snapped up by China, Europe, etc.

Enjoy paying 3x as much for groceries, and not having your hotel room cleaned either. I'm sure that good ole fashioned americans will be glad to unionize and pick lettuce at $28/hour.

Also like the plan on "temporarily drilling the Alaskan oil fields", seeing as even the proponents of this don't think it would be fully operational for another 10 years. So we tell our current producers (have to include Venezuela in this rant, as they hate us too) to eff off, we try to become self-sufficient and in the meantime we use oil that won't be readily available for another 10 years.

Hmmmmmm. Think Robin Williams is a little too smart for this, it probably came from Ann Coulter (or GWB).

:rofl:
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
valve bouncer said:
For f*cks sake this moronic crap has been posted here more times than the other crap about Chuck Norris. It seems to be even more retarded each time as well. I propose the next person to post this gets a sulfuric acid enema.
What you fail to understand is that not everyone has been posting on the internet as long as you and I have.
 

Zark

Hey little girl, do you want some candy?
Oct 18, 2001
6,254
7
Reno 911
MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO

David M. Bresnahan
April 1, 2006
NewsWithViews.com

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the
Mexican police officers does
not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
However, if he gives you
any trouble, just invite him
to go quail hunting with your V.P.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely,

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Have a great one!!
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
It's got to be a little embarrassing for the state of Mexico that so many are trying to leave.

Mexico should just petition to become part of the USA. Problem solved.
 

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,649
26
SF, CA
LordOpie said:
Mexico should just petition to become part of the USA. Problem solved.
Maybe we can do sort of a reverse Louisiana purchase and trade away the South. Which would you rather have: Houston or Cancun?
 

Ridemonkey

This is not an active account
Sep 18, 2002
4,108
1
Toronto, Canada
valve bouncer said:
Fair suck of the sauce bottle, ya can't troll ya own site....can ya?
I was pretty much just referring to point 1. An apology for being a global assbag as a country would probably go a long way for international relations. Of course that would take GWB admitting he's done anything wrong, so I won't hold my breath. :rolleyes: