[mandown]

jK's reply in the GMT thread got me thinking there must be some gems out there. post up great moments in coaching history which you have witnessed or endured.

my high school's football coach started yelling at a friend of mine during PE. he yelled for about a minute. then his dentures fell out. he picked them up and walked away without saying a word.

he was replying to

my high school football coach once told me, no matter how big and bad you think you are, there is always a guy out there who will eat your lunch...

I also recall having my soph year line coach yell at our center. he stopped a blocking drill and asked the center to show him the bottom of his cleats. our center looked confused, but lifted his foot and looked at the bottom of the shoe. our coach promptly stated "I don't see any roller skates, so there is no reason you should be getting blown back off the line like that!" Which he followed up with "just because your last name is Kent, that doesn't make you superman!" to be fair, "Kent" was at about a 80 pound weight disadvantage going against the biggest guy on the team.

 

[jonKranked]

when i started swimming competitively, my coach was a big pretty fat dude. he was real cool. he pretty much single handedly got me into the dead kennedys.

 

[Adventurous]

Our freshman year baseball coach would always get super pissy whenever we had to ride along with the girl's softball team. They were too loud and chatty or something like that. He tol us that they should be at home in the kitchen making us pies for when we won.

 

[jonKranked]

pretty much all my school's football coaches chewed. constantly.

 

[Adventurous]

The same high school baseball coach asked me if there was anything wrong with my pants. When I told him no he proceeded to tell the rest of the team that I was hung like a mule and had a ginormous bulge.

 

[jonKranked]

The same high school baseball coach asked me if there was anything wrong with my pants. When I told him no he proceeded to tell the rest of the team that I was hung like a mule and had a ginormous bulge.

he should have told the softball team

 

[stevew]

The same high school baseball coach asked me if there was anything wrong with my pants. When I told him no he proceeded to tell the rest of the team that I was hung like a mule and had a ginormous bulge.

you should have winked at him and said thanks for noticing sugar tits.....

 

[stevew]

anytime bobby knight threw a chair.

 

[jonKranked]

anytime bobby knight threw a chair.

my high school orchestra director threw a chair at me once because i was horsing around during rehearsal.

 

[Nick]

maybe not what you're looking for, but ...

We had a wrestling coach in HS. One day before a meet, he arranged for one of his star wrestlers to 'miss school', and had him put on a few layers of sweatsuits and run stair laps, ALL DAY, in an old unused section of the building in order to drop a couple of pounds for a weigh-in that evening. He was caught after he found the kid dehydrated and with a lump on his head, where he fell and struck the stairs after passing out. Coach got a good talking to that day.

That same coach handled my driver's ed instruction .... one afternoon he had me drive him and two other teachers to a funeral home and wait outside while they attended a wake for about an hour.


edit: lol @ adventurous. At a different suburban HS there was a legal case where the faculty illegally strip searched a teenage student without approval from his parents. They were SURE he was hiding drugs. Turns out he wasn't hiding drugs. The running joke was they searched for dope but only found his crack pipe.

here: http://openjurist.org/991/f2d/1316/cornfield-lewis-v-consolidated-high-school-district-no

 

[JohnE]

My HS hockey coach told me I had potential..."And potential is a French word that means you aint done **** yet!"

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

Never was into HS team sports that much, but did have a hard ass for a Karate instructor. If you fvcked up in class he had two main ways of disciplining you. We had to do pushups on our knuckles, but we had to get into the position first, then wait to be told when to begin. Depending on his mood this could be up to ten minutes or more. His other favorite was to make us stand in the corner holding the punching bag over our heads for the remainder of class.

His way of testing our blocking abilities was to randomly take swings at us with one of those multi-stranded bamboo swords. They fvking hurt when you get hit with one. So we were all very good at blocking.

 

[mandown]

quality content.

 

[kazlx]

he should have told the softball team

Pretty sure none of the softball players would have been interested....

 

[mandown]

Pretty sure none of the softball players would have been interested....

you've got rep.

 

[stoney]

I had a HS wrestling coach tell me that I would always be a fat fcuk. That was my junior year. When I ran into him while I was at home on spring break freshman year I had grown 4", leaned down to ~10% body fat, and put on 45# of muscle. Watching him squirm when I told him I was recruited to a top-5 university for athletics (rowing) was quite amusing.

I have since reverted to my fat fcuk ways. But at the time it was quite amusing.

I also had another coach (same team ironically), who while giving us ringworm inspections had us hold out arms over our head to check our pits. His response was the exact opposite. "If you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to be f*ing huge in a few years."

Jarmie was wrong. Pablo was right.

 

[CrabJoe StretchPants]

Varsity football coach/gym teacher was yelling at me that I should take gym class and working out at the gym more seriously. As motivation/evidence to support his assertions, he said to look at how hard the football team worked, and asked if I wanted the same results. To that I replied "What, finish mid-pack in a high school football league, only to teach gym class and coach high school football after realizing my mediocre high school football resume wasn't going to get me in the NFL?"

He just sort of stared at me as I walked away.

 

[mandown]

in my junior year, we had a 270lb senior who was an elephant. he didn't move quick or often, but he'd stampede all over your face. he didn't look very buff, but he was strong. one day during circuit training, he was to do machine-bench for 60 seconds then rotate to the next station. coach saw him with about 50lbs keyed on the stack, so he blew a whistle and called everyone to gather and watch. coach placed the key so the bench was using the full plate stack (about 250lbs) and told this kid to bench, and the whole team would count out loud. the kid knocked out about 27 reps before the coach decided to let him off the hook. he clearly had gas in his tank to keep pushing all dang day.

 

[stevew]

Varsity football coach/gym teacher was yelling at me that I should take gym class and working out at the gym more seriously. As motivation/evidence to support his assertions, he said to look at how hard the football team worked, and asked if I wanted the same results. To that I replied "What, finish mid-pack in a high school football league, only to teach gym class and coach high school football after realizing my mediocre high school football resume wasn't going to get me in the NFL?"

He just sort of stared at me as I walked away.

you left out that most football players have the sh!ttiest sleeve tattoos.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

Luckily, I never had reason to deal with coaches.

 

[stevew]

Luckily, I never had reason to deal with coaches.

this.

 

[pnj]

I dropped out of HS so I wouldn't kill anyone.

also, fvck team sports.