I've got some stories. Most of them are from my experience so far in the Marines. Here's the one that is the most permanent:
My buddy at one of the schools I was at got caught underage drinking out on town because he passed out in his sandwich at a Subway. He was therefore punished with a demotion to Private, 45 days restriction and 45 days half pay. Restriction means that you can't leave your room except for going to and coming back from work. He can't even go out to the PX to pick up razors, his roomate had to do that for him. So he does what any Marine who's on restriction would do. He orders a complete tattoo parlor kit. Absolutly everything he would need to start his own studio. He's a very good artist, and he isn't bad at tattooing. He certainly wasn't the best for the first couple people he tattooed because he wasn't used to the medium. I was his third victim.
I ran to his room right after work and waited for him because I didn't want anybody stealing my spot. I had a bunch of ideas I'd been kicking around for a while, but none of them were simple enough for him to do. Me and him were thinking of ideas and he said that since I'm always talking about my dog, I should get my dog's name on me. This is obviously an excellent idea so I do it. I've got "SAM" tattooed right above my ankle in some graffiti-esqe letters. It comes out pretty damn good for his third tattoo. We're all done and I'm rubbing a little bacitracin on it when somebody who was watching says "DUDE, YOU SHOULD GET A TATTOO ON YOUR DICK!" My buddy with the tattoo gun wholeheartedly agrees. I was adamently against it until I realized it would be funny. Let the games begin.
At first he was just going to put a dot design on it, towards the base of the shaft. I had myself amped up, filled with aldrenaline and ready to go. I had the skin pulled taut and everything. He stuck the needle in and apparently I started screaming bloody murder. I pulled away but the needle is still in. It makes a pretty good upside down semicircle. I'm not happy right now. My dick hurts and there's an indelible mark on it. Everybody in the room is laughing (word spread pretty quickly about what was going to happen, and we Marines love to share the pain of others by making fun of them at a later point). My buddy with the tattoo gun is laughing too, almost to the point of tears. He suggested that as long as I had a tattoo on there, we should make it look like something. I agreed and he then put two quick dots above the semicircle. I now had a smiley face tattoo on my penis.
Everytime I have sex now, when the pants come off and "Dr. Smiley", as I now call him, comes out to play, the girl laughs at my peen. It's a pretty humiliating experience every goddamn time.