[mountainbiker]

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This has nothing to do with riding, so if you don't want to read this, Stop Now!

My question is; Does anybody else have the desire to have children in the near future but is not financially stable/comfortable to do so?

I want to have kids. I think about it alot. My wife and I haven't really talked about it in depth, and I haven't spoken with any of my friends about it. I just want some non bias opinions. I know nobody knows my finances better than me but, any response would help.

Oh, and I would like responses from people who have kids, as well as, people who don't.

If you respond, I just would like to thank you in advance.

mountainbikernut

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[MtnBikerChk]

I've always been told if you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have kids.

Although I don't speak from experience.

 

[PonySoldier]

Yes begin to have them, have more than one they will greatly enrich your life..

 

[BikeGeek]

I've always been told if you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have kids.

Exactly what my dad told me. Of course he added "hell, I still can't afford your sisters."

 

[mrbigisbudgood]

I've always been told if you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have kids.

• Truth

 

[Westy]

Kids although expensive are worth a lot. Sell the first one to bankroll the next few.

*just kidding folks*

If you are at a point in your life where you want to have kids go for it. Money is not what makes a good childhood. The worst parents I have ever seen usually are the ones who spend no time with their kids but just throw money at them.

 

[JRB]

Kids although expensive are worth a lot. Sell the first one to bankroll the next few.

*just kidding folks*

If you are at a point in your life where you want to have kids go for it. Money is not what makes a good childhood. The worst parents I have ever seen usually are the ones who spend no time with their kids but just throw money at them.

 

[Ian F]

At first, I voted "no" but in a way I agree with what everyone above has said. Probably because it was a knee-jerk reaction to the fact that my g/f is dead-set against having kids... while I would kinda like to have them... and thus after 3 years we aren't married...

I would say that while you may never be financially "ready", at least make sure your situation is stable as far as employment and debt goes.

 

[McGRP01]

My wife and I were finicially stable before having kids... Now with a 4 year old, things are tight once in a while. We'll see how things get when B2 gets here!!

Edited to say: Things always work out in the end...

 

[narlus]

I would say that while you may never be financially "ready", at least make sure your situation is stable as far as employment and debt goes.

adding a child definitely piles on the stress of living. if you are financially strapped, this additional burden could be too much. assess yr situation and try to come up w/ a realistic budget.

 

[TreeSaw]

I've always been told if you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have kids. Although I don't speak from experience.

I couldn't agree more! Talk it over with your wife and plan for it. I am sure everything will work out in the end

 

[Brian HCM#1]

Go for it, it's way worth it. My kids kick ass!!!!!

 

[Velocity Girl]

I happen to fall on the "No" side. I don't know how "unset" you are finacially, but if having a child will financially strain you then I would think twice. Can you and your wife handle the stress of it setting you back? If the child has medical problems can you afford the bills? If the money situation puts a strain on your relationship with your wife that kind of tension and unhappiness is sure to be sensed by the child. While
I definitely agree that money isn't everything in raising a child, but no one also wants their child to face a life of heartache and hardship. Just my two cents.

 

[denjen]

When you say not finacially set do you mean
1- You are living on raman noddles or
2- you might not be able to buy that new bike this year.

If you are the first then I would say wait, if you are any where in between then go for it. My son is the best thing that has happened to me. Trust me no matter what your situation is it will work out.

Dennis

 

[Yossarian]

I've always been told if you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have kids.

QUOTE]

Ditto! I have kids, I love my kids, kids can be expensive, but that is the way it is. Have them and have them now. you do not want to be nearing retirement and have kids to support, like my folks do with my younger siblings.

 

[firetoole]

I am expecting my first this month and when we decided to start trying, we were somwhat good on finances. Shortly after we found out we were pregnant, I got layed off and had to find a new job (which pays alot less)
but I don't even worry about it now cus I know it will all work out.

 

[stinkyboy]

What's wrong with this cover of Parents magazine?

 

[SkaredShtles]

As someone else said - it depends on what you mean by "financially not ready"........

Having kids requires major sacrifices. Even more if you're wife quits her job.

I'd say go for it - every day that passes you're simply one day closer to death.

-S.S.-

 

[binary visions]

What's wrong with this cover of Parents magazine?

The only thing wrong with it is that it didn't exist

http://www.parents.com/april/

 

[SkaredShtles]

The only thing wrong with it is that it didn't exist

http://www.parents.com/april/

That and the title is "Penis" magazine.

-S.S.-

 

[Westy]

Walked into a magazine store in downtown DC on a Friday night and bought a copy of Parent magazine and Nugget. The dude behind the counter with the mohawk and neck tattoos gave me the strangest look.

 

[SkaredShtles]

Walked into a magazine store in downtown DC on a Friday night and bought a copy of Parent magazine and Nugget. The dude behind the counter with the mohawk and neck tattoos gave me the strangest look.

Ahhhhhahahahahaha! Well played.

-S.S.-

 

[Westy]

Ahhhhhahahahahaha! Well played.

-S.S.-

The resulting collage made from cutting and pasting from the two magazines was disturbingly hilarious. Since they banned virtual kiddy porn it is now illegal and been destroyed. *disclaimer* I in no way found the collage arousing, it was used to test who was bothered by it and who found it funny.

 

[stinkyboy]

The only thing wrong with it is that it didn't exist

http://www.parents.com/april/

I wonder if they yanked it, or it was just a bored designer screwing off.

 

[SuzyCreamcheese]

Yes, and do it while you're young. I'm glad I had mine when I did, even though we couldn't afford them really. Now I'm still pretty young and they are grown and on their own.

The Cheese

 

[narlus]

on the other hand, you can do lots of stuff when you are kidless, and have some disposable income (ie, you earn more when you are 30 than when you are 21). but i agree - you don't want to be changing diapers at 45, or going to a high school graduation when you are 60.

 

[binary visions]

I wonder if they yanked it, or it was just a bored designer screwing off.

I'm sure it was someone having a little fun with photoshop.

 

[SkaredShtles]

on the other hand, you can do lots of stuff when you are kidless, and have some disposable income (ie, you earn more when you are 30 than when you are 21). but i agree - you don't want to be changing diapers at 45, or going to a high school graduation when you are 60.

Yup. Balancing act. My wife and I did alot of living in our 20's. Now, in our early 30's, we have 3 small children and are loving it!

-S.S.-

 

[narlus]

i kinda wish we had our kids a little bit earlier (1st one was born when we were 34), but we did a lot of cool trips from '96 -> '00.

 

[hooples3]

I dont think there is ever a right "time " to have kids.. and the longer you wait the more things will change.. who says in 2 yrs you will be more stable??? you just dont know.. dont let money be the problem... you will find a way no matter what

 

[I Are Baboon]

Is anyone really ever comfortable enough financially to have kids? MBC and I do ok, but I know we'd always be weary of money if we decide to have kids. Money is not what's keeping us from having them, we do not want the responsibility.

 

[narlus]

Is anyone really ever comfortable enough financially to have kids? MBC and I do ok, but I know we'd always be weary of money if we decide to have kids. Money is not what's keeping us from having them, we do not want the responsibility.

well i suppose it's all about prioritization. everyone's got limitations on their budget, even if it's deciding on whether or not one can actually afford that 5th vacation home in the Maldives.

IAB, you are right - being a mom or dad comes w/ an expectation of awesome responsibility. that's both a blessing and a curse.

 

[SkaredShtles]

Is anyone really ever comfortable enough financially to have kids? MBC and I do ok, but I know we'd always be weary of money if we decide to have kids. Money is not what's keeping us from having them, we do not want the responsibility.

Yup. But we're pretty comfortable living within our means. We did it when we were double income no kids.... we're doing it now that we're single income three kids.

Life doesn't really cost very much, to be completely honest.

-S.S.-

 

[narlus]

Life doesn't really cost very much, to be completely honest.

-S.S.-

all you need really is some inner strength to rebuff the Madison Ave siren song of "newer bigger faster better".

which in our society is not easy (i certainly cannot say i am immune). just take a look at people's average credit card debts.

 

[SkaredShtles]

all you need really is some inner strength to rebuff the Madison Ave siren song of "newer bigger faster better".

You speak wisely. I've found it's *much* easier when you don't watch T.V. You end up not even knowing what you're missing.

<snip> just take a look at people's average credit card debts.

And then I look at mine. $0. Credit card debt is the work of the Devil.

-S.S.-

 

[Heath Sherratt]

You will never be financially "safe". Millionaires go bankrupt all the time. Put your trust in money and you will never be safe. Make sure you are ready for kids-spiritually, mentally, and community. Those priorities will always produce beautiful kids.
Remember to take care of yourself after you have them. Lots of folks give up their lives and put on 30-40lbs and "blame" it on their kids. Boundaries, communication and JESUS ensure rich relationships and healthy people...big or little.

 

[manimal]

man...if we had waited until we were "set" we'd never have kids. kid #1 was a wedding present but at least i was in the military then so his birth only cost $12. kid #2 came when we were barely making it and i had to sell my old DH bike to help pay for living expenses. kid #3 came when i was starting out a new career but we're much better off than we were on either of the other 2. it was extremely stressful "thinking" about what it would be like to have kids....more stressful than actually having them now i can't imagine it being any other way. it's amazing how your priorities will naturally adapt and you really don't feel like you're missing anything.

it's all worth it!

unplanned kid #1

unplanned kid #2

unplanned kid #3

it doesn't get any better than this!

 

[rcoh]

Hi everyone.

I occasionally browse RM when bored at work, normally post on farkin boards (Oz mtb site). I really enjoy the site, just never felt need to register, it being a mainly Nth American site.

My girl & I just had twin boys, unplanned, & I have been swinging wildly between worrying about how the hell I am going to afford to bring up 2 kids & just relaxing & thinking that everything will be cool.

Anyway it was just reassuring to hear so many positive messages, so although I know none of you & you are 1/2 a world away, I am now feeling a lot better about my situation.

Just one query though, do you have to pay to have a child if you do not have private health insurance? My boys were 3 months premature & have spent last month in intensive/special care at a cost of approx. $3000AUD per day. Luckily we elected to have our children in the public hospital system, even though he have private health cover, so the government is picking up the bill (approx $270,000AUD, they will be in hospital for a bit over 3 months).