[luelling]

I'm a boy DH racer and my fiancee enjoys (to an extent) riding her little hardtail I built for her. Its pretty well equipped and she does pretty well on it. When pushed by other girls (ie..my friends girlfriends that ride) she focuses and nails it or at least tries. She hasn't ridden that much but she was doing small drops (around 1.5') and riding pretty narrow bridges.

Anyway, on to my question to every girl that rides. I know I shouldn't force a sport on her that I have done all my life, but she likes riding bikes and has some fun.....but shes scared. For all that focus and kicking butt she is screaming on the inside with fear (but holds a pro poker face). Any help on a way to cultivate her riding? I don't want her to race unless she wants....but I would like to be able to take her out to the local freeride park and have her ride and not just watch.

I did buy her a little road bike and she likes that becuase she can haul butt and not have to worry about hitting a tree or rock. Any help would be appreciated.

 

[laura]

be supportive and patient. she'll do it when she's ready. give her small pushes to keep her motivated to go bigger, but don't be overbearing. encourage her to race road as well. just encourage her in anything she wants to try. she may be a lot better at road than free ride. take her out with girls more often as well. get them to go to the free ride park with you guys.

 

[MudGrrl]

patience

patience

patience



and a whole lot of sincere compliments.

 

[geargrrl]

find a womens' group for her to ride with, or sign her up for a women's camp. Sometimes just getting away from the relationship dynamic can be a really good thing. Mostly likely in addition to her tentativeness, she wants to please you too and that can add a lot of subconscious pressure.

You might also examine her learning style. I did not respond well to "just go for it" but I respond really well to "here's what you do, how you do it and why you do it" for learning skills.

gg

 

[amydalayna]

definitely don't push her to race if she's still scared of general riding. if you push her too hard and she gets hurt or has a really bad time she's bound to blame it on you.

 

[Velocity Girl]

As the others have said, patience is key. It sounds like she's already doing great if she's tackling things despite being scared.

You can also talk to her and ask her what's the best way for you to help her with obstacles because everyone responds to different techniques.

And I don't know if she's wearing it already, but getting her some body armor and a full face might help to step up to some bigger stuff. I know half of it is mental for me, but my armor is like a security blanket for me now....I feel nekkid without it.

And as geargrrl mentioned having her ride with others at times might help. Believe it or not, when I first started out I found that riding with other guys other than my SO did wonders for me. They were all very supportive and patient, would wait for me to catch up, and would help coach me over obstacles. But talking with some of the ripping gals in the area helped also....they understood just a bit more the "fear factor" and made me realize that it was ok to be scared, but that you still had to keep pushing yourself......it's all about finding the balance that works for you!

Good luck!

 

[sanjuro]

From my experience working in a shop, I see lots of dudes pushing their girls into cycling, whether it was her first bike or into more serious biking, and I can forsee it not working out.

She has to develop into her own cyclist. If it means she rides the paved trails in the park, so be it. You might be surprised where a little freedom might take her.

Try "I'll go this way, and you go that way". Then you go together and leave together, but she gets used to riding on her own.

 

[Heidi]

As a member of the Bend Bella Cyclists - you may be surprized how much I repeatedly hear women say that they joined the group so they wouldn't have to always ride with guys. They feel that guys aren't as patient and don't explain things as well as other women may. In general, they just feel more comfortable riding with women. Obviously these are generalizations because I myself do not feel this way. So, I agree, get her to join some women's groups, or go to a women's camp so she can meet other women that will push her.

 

[zoey]

If you've been riding downhill forever, your GF might have a skewed perception of what is normal for a beginner rider and what you can do. With every sport there is a learning curve. Be sure she knows that she is doing just fine with her level of experience. Also, you didn't say what kind of pedals she has, but you might consider putting on platform pedals insted of clipless. I got a lot more comfortable riding trails as soon as I wasn't "attached" to my bike.

>I don't want her to race unless she wants....but I would like to be able to take her >out to the local freeride park and have her ride and not just watch.

Well, that's actually kind of up to her, isn't it? Let her watch. In time, if she wants, then she'll ride. It's really hard to get up as a beginner and try jumps and such in front of a crowd.

 

[OGRipper]

....her little hardtail.......a little road bike....

Maybe stop unconsicously belittling the fact that she's a beginner?

It's really hard when there is such a huge gap in skills. You could be the nicest dude on the planet but there is still pressure to do well that can taint the experience for the less-skilled person. Combine that with the relationship dynamic and, well....I know some couples who are both into riding but who rarely actually ride together. Encourage her to get out and ride with other people or by herself so she can focus on the ride. And if she is scared or doesn't want to do it, don't pressure her. Just be glad she's rolling on two wheels, whatever the form.

 

[Special K]

I agree with everyone else -- patience is key. I raced cross country before downhill, and it took me a long time to learn how to really ride like a downhiller. When I started downhilling, my bf had been racing for over 10 years as an expert and I was really intimidated -- he just made everything look so easy. Eventually, I found my place and even moved up to racing expert.
Sometimes, my bf gave a bit too much advice at times, when all I wanted to do was just ride. Sometimes, his advice took away from my concentration, such as when I was trying a new stunt -- but he eventually learned just to give advice when I asked for it. Hope this helps.

 

[thePINKster]

my dad was the same way with me when i was little...

i raced a DH race 5 years ago in shasta with my dad when i was about 11 or 12. i raced well and when my dad asked later if i wanted to make it a regular thing, i said no, that i just liked riding for fun (i dont remember this part, but he does)....... he was bummed but supportive. about a month later i asked if we could race bmx regularly, and he was thrilled.... Now i am moved up to expert in gravity racing, working towards (EVENTUALLY) going pro, which is my ultimate dream.

i guess my advice is to start her out on easier terrain if she is scared, and the BMX track is a GREAT place to start, you learn crazy good skills, and everything is smaller and less intimidating. and just by her hanging out with other awesome people that ride (your friends & their gf's) it encourages her in the sport as well.

good luck to you and her!

 

[bluebug32]

could you use the word "little" one more time? You need to see her as an equal to make this work. You have to share the hobby and let her do it on her own and decide what she likes and dislikes about the sport without having to worry about disappointing you. Have you learned any of her hobbies?

 

[Reactor]

I'm going to agree with bluebug, and go a step farther. Your girlfriend doesn't have a problem, you do. She will ride what she is able to, when she is able to. Pushing her isn't the answer. I've taught a lot of things a lot more dangerous than freeriding. You push someone, you'll pay the price. It doesn't matter if they are a male or female.

It takes time to build up a comfort level that lets you do drops and other technical terrain without the huge and dangerous distraction of fear. Keith Code had a theory that every one has a set amount of attention (he called it ten bucks) you spend it on everything you do, pedaling, balancing, looking for a line, cornering, bike handling, worrying about unpaid bills, and fear. Right now it sound like the fear is eating up a lot of her attention. If she's pushed to try stunts before she is ready, there is a very real possibility she'll end up getting hurt. There is also a very real possibility she'll give up the sport.

The best thing you can do is step back, plan some rides that are well within her current ability and let her get comfortable. When she is ready, if she ever is, she'll do bigger stunts. As for resorts rides, bring some people along who are near her level, and let them loose on some of the easier trails. You and some friends take off for people more your own level.

 

[luelling]

I appreciate all of the feedback. First, let me say a few things...I don't say "little" to be rude or anything, I refer to my DS/MX bike as little along with my XR50 (my girlfriend says I look like a circus bear on a tricycle). I also don't push her to try things, I actually tell her not to do it. She has ridden some bridges that I strongly advised against. I even stood next the bridges so I could catch her if she fell (I may have been more worried than she was).

I think what I'm going to do, since she likes the road bike so much, is try and get her involved with women locally that ride road recreationally that she can go out and have fun with. I know that fun is the key and it "could" develop further from there. I agree with the ladies that finding other women that share the same interest would not only be encouraging but healthy. We recently moved to a new town where I already know several guys and she knows no one, so it would be good from a social aspect as well.

On a side note, I built her a mountain bike in the first place becuase she watched some MX and DS races and was interested in doing that...there is one problem, Oregon doesn't have any of those races. It was always at nationals that she viewed the women racing these events. She does like to ride the BMX track, but I need to talk with the track operator if it is alright to bring mountain bikes out for practice. For now though, she likes her new road bike and thinks its awsome to just ride around (shes like a little kid, pulling it out and riding around the block when she can) so I think I will just encourage her in that aspect and try to find some women for her to ride with. Now that I've written a book I think I'll stop