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Hey silver: why U think amricanz is dum?

Pesqueeb

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
42,374
19,901
Riding past the morgue.
New Rule: Just because a country elects a smart president doesn't make it a smart country. A few weeks ago I was asked by Wolf Blitzer if I thought Sarah Palin could get elected president, and I said I hope not, but I wouldn't put anything past this stupid country. It was amazing - in the minute or so between my calling America stupid and the end of the Cialis commercial, CNN was flooded with furious emails and the twits hit the fan. And you could tell that these people were really mad because they wrote entirely in CAPITAL LETTERS!!! It's how they get the blood circulating when the Cialis wears off. Worst of all, Bill O'Reilly refuted my contention that this is a stupid country by calling me a pinhead, which A) proves my point, and B) is really funny coming from a doody-face like him.

Now, the hate mail all seemed to have a running theme: that I may live in a stupid country, but they lived in the greatest country on earth, and that perhaps I should move to another country, like Somalia. Well, the joke's on them because I happen to have a summer home in Somalia... and no I can't show you an original copy of my birth certificate because Woody Harrelson spilled bong water on it.

And before I go about demonstrating how, sadly, easy it is to prove the dumbness dragging down our country, let me just say that ignorance has life and death consequences. On the eve of the Iraq War, 69% of Americans thought Saddam Hussein was personally involved in 9/11. Four years later, 34% still did. Or take the health care debate we're presently having: members of Congress have recessed now so they can go home and "listen to their constituents." An urge they should resist because their constituents don't know anything. At a recent town-hall meeting in South Carolina, a man stood up and told his Congressman to "keep your government hands off my Medicare," which is kind of like driving cross country to protest highways.

I'm the bad guy for saying it's a stupid country, yet polls show that a majority of Americans cannot name a single branch of government, or explain what the Bill of Rights is. 24% could not name the country America fought in the Revolutionary War. More than two-thirds of Americans don't know what's in Roe v. Wade. Two-thirds don't know what the Food and Drug Administration does. Some of this stuff you should be able to pick up simply by being alive. You know, like the way the Slumdog kid knew about cricket.

Not here. Nearly half of Americans don't know that states have two senators and more than half can't name their congressman. And among Republican governors, only 30% got their wife's name right on the first try.

Sarah Palin says she would never apologize for America. Even though a Gallup poll says 18% of Americans think the sun revolves around the earth. No, they're not stupid. They're interplanetary mavericks. A third of Republicans believe Obama is not a citizen, and a third of Democrats believe that George Bush had prior knowledge of the 9/11 attacks, which is an absurd sentence because it contains the words "Bush" and "knowledge."

People bitch and moan about taxes and spending, but they have no idea what their government spends money on. The average voter thinks foreign aid consumes 24% of our federal budget. It's actually less than 1%. And don't even ask about cabinet members: seven in ten think Napolitano is a kind of three-flavored ice cream. And last election, a full one-third of voters forgot why they were in the booth, handed out their pants, and asked, "Do you have these in a relaxed-fit?"

And I haven't even brought up America's religious beliefs. But here's one fun fact you can take away: did you know only about half of Americans are aware that Judaism is an older religion than Christianity? That's right, half of America looks at books called the Old Testament and the New Testament and cannot figure out which one came first.

And these are the idiots we want to weigh in on the minutia of health care policy? Please, this country is like a college chick after two Long Island Iced Teas: we can be talked into anything, like wars, and we can be talked out of anything, like health care. We should forget town halls, and replace them with study halls. There's a lot of populist anger directed towards Washington, but you know who concerned citizens should be most angry at? Their fellow citizens. "Inside the beltway" thinking may be wrong, but at least it's thinking, which is more than you can say for what's going on outside the beltway.

And if you want to call me an elitist for this, I say thank you. Yes, I want decisions made by an elite group of people who know what they're talking about. That means Obama budget director Peter Orszag, not Sarah Palin.

Which is the way our founding fathers wanted it. James Madison wrote that "pure democracy" doesn't work because "there is nothing to check... an obnoxious individual." Then, in the margins, he doodled a picture of Joe the Plumber.

Until we admit there are things we don't know, we can't even start asking the questions to find out. Until we admit that America can make a mistake, we can't stop the next one. A smart guy named Chesterton once said: "My country, right or wrong is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying... It is like saying 'My mother, drunk or sober.'" To which most Americans would respond: "Are you calling my mother a drunk?"
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linky
 
narlus

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
Sarah Palin says she would never apologize for America. Even though a Gallup poll says 18% of Americans think the sun revolves around the earth. No, they're not stupid. They're interplanetary mavericks.
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:rofl:

maher is great.
 
chicodude

chicodude

The Spooninator
Mar 28, 2004
1,054
2
Paradise
Heh, its funny they get all up in arms with stuff that actually helps them.

You know, you are unconscious and EMT's show up and scan you and find out your medical history right away.

The government is really interested in tracking your movement to the 7-11/homedepot.BK lounge.
 
Westy

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
56,406
22,488
Sleazattle
I briefly worked with a guy in the mid 90's who thought that the anti counter fitting strips in new paper bills were so that the government could track how much cash you had on hand. There were solar powered illuminated signs on the nearby interstate, he thought they were the "cash sensors". He would tear the strips out of all his money and refused to drive on the interstate. He was the security guard at a campground that I managed. To make things even better he was a complete gun nut and nearly blew his sons head off when it went off accidentally when he was showing it off one night. His son escaped with a barely grazed ear.
 
valve bouncer

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
They're putting them in the new "round-eyed-scum" cards we have to carry here. Mine is accidentally going to be hit with a ball-peen hammer.
 
Silver

Silver

find me a tampon
Jul 20, 2002
10,840
1
Orange County, CA
valve bouncer said:
They're putting them in the new "round-eyed-scum" cards we have to carry here. Mine is accidentally going to be hit with a ball-peen hammer.
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You know, I'm technically supposed to carry my green card around everywhere. I'm white, so I don't, but it's nice to know that the US isn't the only country with such a welcoming policy :D
 
Westy

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
56,406
22,488
Sleazattle
Silver said:
You know, I'm technically supposed to carry my green card around everywhere. I'm white, so I don't, but it's nice to know that the US isn't the only country with such a welcoming policy :D
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Brit friend of mine got stopped while fishing on the St. Lawrence River in NY by border patrol. He got chewed out for not having his green card on him. I'm sure if he had a more nefarious accent he would have been locked up.
 
kidwoo

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
Aug 25, 2003
42,149
13,358
Squirtin ketchup n' mustard on charred flesh
Westy said:
Brit friend of mine got stopped while fishing on the St. Lawrence River in NY by border patrol. He got chewed out for not having his green card on him. I'm sure if he had a more nefarious accent he would have been locked up.
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British people come to the south?





As if the world opinion of americans wasn't bad enough

*shudder*


At least they're not in idaho tripping over KKK rallies in broad daylight.
 
Westy

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
56,406
22,488
Sleazattle
kidwoo said:
British people come to the south?





As if the world opinion of americans wasn't bad enough

*shudder*


At least they're not in idaho tripping over KKK rallies in broad daylight.
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I live in the least southern town in the south. I only know a handful of people who live here who were actually born in the state. A lot of them are actually from other countries. It is quite nice, southern weather without out the non-ironic mullets. The tooth and IQ count drops drastically once you get about 10 miles out of town though.
 
Silver

Silver

find me a tampon
Jul 20, 2002
10,840
1
Orange County, CA
Westy said:
Brit friend of mine got stopped while fishing on the St. Lawrence River in NY by border patrol. He got chewed out for not having his green card on him. I'm sure if he had a more nefarious accent he would have been locked up.
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Yeah, but a brit sounds funny.

I've learned to supress my "ehs" so I'm in full stealth mode...
 
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