Sean Connery: It looks like this is my lucky day! I'll take "The Rapists" for $200.
Alex Trebek: That's "Therapists." That's "Therapists," not "The Rapists." Let's skip "Therapists" and try "Household Objects", for $400. And the answer is, "You usually drink water out of one of these." [Sean Connery buzzes in] Sean Connery.
Sean Connery: "What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."
Sean Connery: "What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."
Trebek: No! Good lord! We would have accepted "bow wow" or "ruff"
Connery: Ohhh, rough, just the way your mother likes it, Trebek!
&
Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.
Alex Trebek: What? No. No, no, that is The Pen is Mightier.
Sean Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?
Alex Trebek: It's not a product, Mr. Connery.
Sean Connery: Because I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen.
Alex Trebek: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. Connery. There's no such thing!
Nicholas Cage: Wait, wait, wait.. are you selling Penis Mightiers?
Alex Trebek: No! No, I'm not.
Sean Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek!
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